Pointless Negotiation
by ButterflyGirl89
Summary: Olivia's alone in her apartment with William Lewis and for two days no one knows the danger she's in. She's put through hell by him with her with her worst nightmares come to life will she be able to survive her ordeal? Will the squad realise somethings wrong before its too late? If Lewis is caught will he be able to squirm his way to another mistrial? Read to find out. Dark!
1. Prologue

**So I know everyone is writing post Her Negotiation stories whilst waiting to see what actually happens when the new series starts but I wanted to write my own, so here it is.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm simply borrowing them for entertainment.**

**Summary: Olivia is in the clutches of The Beast and he intends on sending her to hell and back, then there and back again. Will she live through it, and if she does will she truly be able to survive what she's been through? The team desperately try to catch The Beast and stop him before he can hurt anyone else.**

**For the record this was the darkest episode of SVU ever in my opinion, but I have a horrid feeling that 15x01 will make it look like a Disney film. Hope Olivia gets to kick some perp ass. **

**Anyway, here goes…**

**Prologue **

Fin and Amaro stood outside Olivia's apartment. They couldn't hear a sound coming from within it but that only added to the worry they were both feeling. Worry that had only deepened with each minute that had passed why they waited for some sort of answer from Olivia, waited for her to answer the door or her phone which they could hear ringing inside. The men turned to look at each other again after another wasted minute passed by and then Fin reached up and hammered his fist against the door, _swearing to himself that_ _this would be the last time he'd do it._ "Liv!" he called out, thinking back to how they had come to be here…

_They had been the only two in the station house when Brian Cassidy had called to see if Olivia was there. It had been Amaro who had taken the call and told him about the two days off that Cragen had ordered she take. When he heard that Brian had had no contact with her within over the two days Amaro had immediately began to think something was wrong. _

_He had quickly hung up and Fin who had noticed his worried expressions caught his_ _attention. "What's going on?" he asked. _

"_That was Cassidy. He's outta town but said that he can't get in touch with Liv, said he hasn't been able to for over two days." Amaro told him, worry evident in his voice. _

"_She was due in hours ago and I know Liv, if's she's had two days off on orders she'd have been in as soon as the sun started to rise." Fin told him._

"_I figured the same. I'm gonna go check up on her at her place."_

"_I'm coming with you. I got a bad feeling." Fin said as he stood up and grabbed his jacket._

"_You wanna drive. I'll try calling her." Amaro suggested. _

Brushing his thoughts aside, and having received no answer again, Fin decided enough was enough. "Step back." He warned Amaro before he slammed his foot against Olivia's door. It half opened but the chain that was on was stopping it from granting them access.

"Liv!" Fin called through the gap, worrying more now. _If the chain was on she had to be inside_. "Liv, its Fin and Nick!" still he got no reply.

Through the gap his eye suddenly caught something by the window, it was a bloodied hand mark on the wall where someone had clearly gripped the wall as they'd climbed out onto the fire escape. "SHIT, there's blood on the wall!" Fin cried out in panic, his heart racing.

"LIV!" Amaro called through the gap.

Fin tried throwing his whole body against the door but the chain hardly budged. "On three," he told Amaro. Then after the count of three the two of them threw their bodies against the door and this time it burst open.

They both fell through the doorway, barely managing to stay on their feet. They both immediately took out their guns when they saw how trashed Olivia's usually pristine apartment was. They both began to inch their way forward, taking in everything, both of them not knowing what to expect. They both glanced into the kitchen where they could see the stove was lit. One burner still going, an assortment of objects sat on the worktop next to the oven.

"Lewis!" Amaro said knowingly, his stomach turning. "Olivia!" he said as he turned on his heels.

He followed Fin who charged forward moving down the thin hallway towards Olivia's bedroom. He kicked the bathroom door open with his foot as he passed by it. Both men instantly felt like gagging when they saw it empty but soiled with bloodied marks everywhere, clearly a struggle had taken place there, the broken mirror and bloodied shards of broken glass only helped confirm this.

Fin turned to face Olivia's bedroom door. Part of him didn't want to open it, fearing what they would find but he didn't hesitate in pushing it open with his body and making his way in gun drawn. Amaro was right behind him.

Both men were speechless by what they saw. This room like the rest of the apartment was trashed but much worse than the others. There was blood all over the bed and around the room. Olivia's torn clothes lay scattered around the floor and on the bed, half covered by a blood soaked white sheet, was a lifeless looking Olivia.

Fin ran over to her, the sound of his heart pounding against his chest threatening to deafen him. He could hear Amaro speaking into his cell phone as he called for a bus, but his voice was just a muffled blur but his own was too as he spoke to Olivia, his ears were ringing but with a final sharp ring everything suddenly came into focus.

"Olivia! Olivia, please! Liv, honey, can you me?" he said as he gently tried to move her hair up off her face where it had fallen over. She was lying on her stomach, her arms reaching up above her where they were each tied to the frame of the bed with thick electrical cords that had cut into her flesh.

Fin tried moving more of her hair back but it was slippery in parts and dried solid with blood in other parts. It was everywhere around her. He quickly determined why. "She's been shot in the head!" he said angrily.

He was trying to reach for her neck, hoping to see if he could feel a pulse but he knew if she had been shot in the head it was unlikely, which is why his heart skipped a beat when he heard her moan his name. He had barely heard it but he knew he had. "Tell them to hurry!" he yelled to Amaro.

Amaro did so then threw his cell into his pocket. He then moved to untie the cords around Olivia's left arm. "You're gonna be fine Liv, the bus is on its way. We'll have you fixed up in no time." he said as he worked on the cord. He couldn't help but glance down at Olivia, the majority of her body wasn't covered by the sheet and the parts that weren't were caked in blood, some dried some still spilling from wounds. He could also see burns, lots of them, all different shapes and sizes, some more obvious as to how they had been made. "Jesus, Fin, look at her."

"I know." Fin said, sounding calmer than he actually felt right now. He was using his jacket to try and slow the bleeding on Olivia's head. "She's gonna be fine." he told Amaro, trying to convince himself at the same time.

He kept thinking back to the state in which they had found Alice Parker after she had been held captive at gunpoint for eighteen hours by Lewis. He had no doubt that Olivia had probably been held captive a hell of a lot longer than that and he dreaded to think what hell he had put her through.

He glanced around the room again. He could see metal hanger that had been bent into all sorts of shapes. There were cigarette stumps everywhere and signs of crystal meth use, just like there had been in Alice's apartment. It all made Fin feel sick to his stomach.

Amaro moved around the bed and reached over Fin, who remained by Olivia's side, so he could begin untying the other cord. He glanced down at Olivia's arm. He couldn't help but notice the odd angle it was twisted in. "Her arm's dislocated." he told Fin knowingly.

Fin didn't reply, he just glanced at the injured limb and then turned to look at Olivia's face again, _what he could make out of it through the blood and bruises_. "Don't worry, Liv. Promise you we're gonna catch him for this, and when we do he's gonna know what it feels like to be burned and beaten."

Amaro could only listen as he gently lowered Olivia's arm, praying he wasn't causing his partner anymore pain than he knew she must already be in, but she didn't even flinch. "God, where's that bus!" he said as he pressed the corner of his jacket down on a deep and badly bleeding wound on Olivia's thigh.

As if on cue they both began to hear the sirens approaching. All they could do was hope that Olivia would be okay, but looking at her, at how beaten and damaged her body was they wondered if she would ever truly be okay if she were to live through this.

**TBC**

**Thanks so much for reading, please review and let me know if you want more. **


	2. Chapter 1

**Thanks to everyone ready, reviewing and to everyone who has added alerts and favourites. I really appreciate it. You all rock!**

**I just read some interview on the new season, doesn't sound good for Olivia and the new promo – most terrifying promo ever! All I can say is in those few seconds of promo Mariska H's unbelievable acting skills have never been more obvious. Amazing actress/woman. Anyway****,**** after watching the promo and reading that interview I decided to let her kick a _little_ ass in this chapter.**

**PS****,**** For anyone worrying about the Olivia's been shot in the head and is still alive thing, bear with me, all will be revealed later, but right now I'm taking you back in time two days. (Parts in italics will be present day - as in events happening after Fin and Amaro found Olivia)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 1**

_**2 days earlier**_

Olivia walked into her apartment feeling tired and mentally exhausted from the William Lewis case and the way it had all gone to rot. She couldn't believe the scum bag had gotten away with it all. She hated that Alice Parker wouldn't get justice. No one had that much good luck, and perps certainly didn't deserve to have it. Hoping to forget it all she turned the lights on and stepped into the kitchen where she placed her bag of groceries down, followed by her cell phone.

She busied her mind planning on how she would spend her evening: soft music, hot bubble bath, take-out food and an early night, all accompanied by a nice bottle of red wine. She figured it didn't matter if she woke up with a hangover because she had the day off anyway. _She had two days off!_ What the hell was she going to do for two days, other than be bored out of her mind!

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard a sound to the right of her. She wondered if perhaps she was just hearing things, wondered if she was more on edge than she had first thought she was, but she decided to check it out more anyway.

"Hello!" she called out, wondering if it was Brian, surprising her in an attempt to apologise, "Hello!" she called out again as she stepped away from the kitchen. She quickly found out it wasn't Brian as someone suddenly pressed a gun towards her face.

She took a half step back, too scared and in too much shock to say a word as William Lewis stepped towards her. "Welcome home, Detective Benson." he said with a sly smirk on his face.

Olivia remained speechless. She was desperately trying to will herself to think of something to say, think of someway she could get herself out of this but she truly was frozen with fear. She wasn't nearly prepared as Lewis reached out and grabbed her arm, his fingers digging painfully into the flesh of her arm as he pushed her forward, the gun still pointed at her.

"Lewis!" she began, hoping to talk her way out of this, though deep down she knew it would never work.

"Shut up!" he told her simply.

Olivia was trying to think fast but images of the vile things that Lewis had done to Alice were flashing through her mind and the pictures she'd seen of his other victims following right behind those images of Alice. Both she and Lewis suddenly froze as the house phone began to ring. Olivia tried to pull out of Lewis's grip, hoping to run and grab the phone and beg whoever was on the other end to help her but Lewis kept a tight grip on her and used his body to pin hers against the wall.

"I let you answer that phone and you'll put an end to our night, and I have a great night planned." Lewis growled into her ear, his face so close to hers his lips brushed against her skin.

"Get off! Let go of me!" she growled back at him.

His reply was to press his body harder against hers, sandwiching her painfully between him and the wall. Suddenly the machine beeped and the person calling began to leave their message. Olivia didn't know whether to be happy or sad when she heard the familiar voice of Cragen.

"Olivia, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I seemed a little harsh before about ordering you to take some time, but two days off will do you good." He began.

Olivia felt her heart sink as Cragen unknowingly announced to Lewis that Olivia wasn't needed back in work for two days, _for two days he would think no one would think she was missing or in his clutches_.

Cragen continued, "That doesn't mean you can't call me if you need anything. Anything at all. Whether it's to chat about the case or anything else. William Lewis will get what he deserves, Liv. I won't let him hurt another woman. Anyway, take care. You know where I am if you need me."

_You might as well be a million miles away_, Olivia thought to herself as the message ended and the apartment fell into silence before Lewis started laughing from behind Olivia as he continued to pin her to the wall. "Two days off. Well that is fantastic, means I can take my time with you." he growled into Olivia's ear.

"My boyfriend will be back later." she lied, trying to sound as convincing as she could.

"You mean, Bri? No I don't think he will. You see, he called earlier and left you a message: he's outta town for a few days. Figures you're still pissed off at him after what happened in the bar so will call you when you've had some time to think." Lewis told her. "You two have a fight?" he asked.

Olivia couldn't help but want to stomp on her answering machine until it was in a thousand pieces. _The damn thing was causing her nothing but trouble tonight. _She was about to make up some sort of lie when Lewis spoke right into her ear again. "Let's move this to the bedroom, _Darling_."

He tried to push Olivia towards her bedroom but she remained firmly where she was and tried to pull her arm free but it was no good. She knew if Lewis got her into the bedroom that she was in more trouble than she already was and she couldn't let it happen.

"I said move!" he spat at her.

"No!" she spat back at him.

Lewis decided enough was enough and began to move toward her room, dragging her along with him, the gun still pointed at her. Olivia knew she had to act now, _do something_, anything but let him drag her into the bedroom. She suddenly ran at him, slamming her body into his, knocking him off balance and into the wall behind him. His head slammed painfully hard into a picture that was hanging on the wall, smashing the glass into dangerous shards and causing the picture to fall to the floor.

Now free of his grasp Olivia ran towards the bathroom, her aim to lock herself in. Once in there she would try to get her heart to stop pounding her mind to stop racing and actually work out how she was going to get herself out of this mess.

She almost jumped out of her skin when Lewis began slamming his fists against the door. "You little bitch, open the door!" he yelled as he jiggled the handle.

"Help!" Olivia screamed as loud as she could, praying one of her neighbours would hear her. "Help me!" she screamed louder as Lewis began throwing his body against the door in an attempt to barge it open.

Olivia turned and moved over to the window. She pulled it open as much as the tiny pointless window would actually open and then climbed up onto the side of the bath tub and put her face out of the window as much as possible. "Help me! Somebody please, help me!" she screamed as loud as she could. She could only hope there was someone down on the street below who would hear her and come to help her.

Once more she almost jumped out of her skin as Lewis slammed his whole body against the door, this time it burst wide open. "You little bitch!" Lewis smirked as he saw what she was doing.

He suddenly ran at her. From where she still stood on the side of the bath she threw her leg out, her boot connecting with his face. He fell backwards holding his chin where she had left behind a small bleeding cut. She was about to jump down off the side of the tub and dash past him but he reached out and grabbed her and ripped her down.

She threw her fists down on his back, his head, anywhere she could trying to inflict as much damage as she could. Lewis wrapped his arms around her torso and swung her around so fast that she fell out of the bathroom and into the hall on her hands and knees.

She quickly tried to push herself up but Lewis came up behind her and reached down and twisted his hand up into her hair, painfully tugging on the back of her head as he pulled her to her feet. She felt him prod the gun into her back and then felt his hot breath as he growled into her ear. "Enough foreplay, Sweetheart."

Olivia could do nothing as he pushed her through the door opposite the bathroom, _her bedroom_. He let go of her hair and shoved her forward,_ hard_. She stumbled and barely managed to stay standing but somehow she did. She hurriedly turned to face him, not wanting to have her back to him for a moment.

"Now!" he said, wiping some blood off his chin, "You must like it rough." he said as he held his hand up showing her the blood that was there from the wound and some from the wound that he had felt on the back of his head where a shard of glass had grazed him. "That works for me."

"William..." she began, hoping using his first name would somehow help her more.

"Shut up!" he warned her as he took a step closer, aiming the gun right at her face. "I'm sick of hearing you talk, despite how pretty your lips are, especially when they're moving."

Olivia needed to talk to him, tell him that this was a bad idea. She was a cop and her colleagues would know there was something up when she didn't return Cragen's call, but she remained quiet.

"Now," Lewis said, finally feeling like he was back in control of the situation, "Take off your clothes; let me have a proper look at you." he told her.

Olivia felt her stomach flip with nausea. "This isn't happening." she told him, trying to sound more confident than she was actually feeling right now.

"Oh yeah, says who?" he growled at her.

"Lewis, please, you have to know that you won't get away with this."

She had to quickly step back as he took a big step towards her, the gun still aimed at her face. "I said take off your clothes!" he told her slowly but firmly. His tone told her he wasn't about to tell her again, but she still wasn't about to obey him.

"William..." she'd barely begun what she was about to say when Lewis swung his arm out at her. The gun in his hand connected hard with the side of her face. The blow was so hard it knocked her off balance and as she fell sideways to the floor her head clipped the corner of the bedside table. With a pained grunt she landed on the floor, her head spinning, her ears ringing.

"Now look what you did!" Lewis spat before he reached down, grabbed her by the jacket, and pulled her to her feet only to let her fall back down onto the bed beside her, where she lay barely conscious.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Fin and Amaro where stood back watching as the medics worked on Olivia. They had arrived quickly but since the first time they had heard Olivia make a sound she hadn't made another. Both men knew she was in a seriously bad way and it scared the hell out of them. _

"_Fin! Nick!" They heard Cragen shout as he ran down the hallway__ to join them in the bedroom__._

_They watched as their leader stepped into the room. They watched as he suddenly froze, his gaze fixed on Olivia as she was worked on by the medics. They knew he was looking at all the blood on the bed, there was just too much to ignore. It was like something out of a Quentin Tarantino movie. _

_Cragen closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. Trying to remove the image of what he had seen before him but when he opened his eyes it was all still there. Olivia still lay there, looking totally lifeless. Cragen slowly began to take in the room but he soon found he had to stop because in his mind he was seeing what each piece of evidence would have been used for, how it would have been used to torture Olivia in some vile way. _

_He wanted to go over to her and take hold of her hand, tell her he was there for her and she would be okay but he was too frightened of stopping the medics from doing their work. Instead he walked over to Fin and Nick having to take a deep breath. He tried not to think about how the numerous cigarette stumps on the floor around his feet had probably been used__._

"_Let's not pretend that we don't know w__hich sick son-uva-bitch did this to her. I want him found and when we find him I'm the one who interrogates his sorry ass!" Cragen growled._

"_I just wish he'd still have been here when we got here__,__ but we think he shot off out through the window at some point. There was a fresh bloodied hand print by the window he can't have left long before we got here. CSU are getting prints from it now__." Amaro told him._

_Cragen had barely noticed the CSU techs and uniformed officers that were littered in Olivia's living room and kitchen and in the hall outside her apartment. He had been too focused on getting to Olivia after Amaro had called him to tell him what had happened. The three of them turned to face the medics as things became a little frantic. _

"_We need to get her to a hospital now. We can't__ stop all this blood loss here__."__ One of the medics told them, panic evident in his voice._

"_There can't be mu__ch blood left in her!" Amaro said angrily. _

"_Which is exactly why she needs to be in a hospital now!" _

_**~0~0~**_

_The medics had wasted no time in loading Olivia onto a stretcher and were now, with the help of Fin and Amaro pushing her down the path away from her building and towards the ambulance parked up out front. A group of bystanders, most of them Olivia's neighbours stood round watching the commotion, one of them in particular. A man in a big jacket and a baseball cap pulled down over his face. He was hiding out among the crowd, a proud smirk on his face, his blood stained hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. Stained with her blood, God he never wanted to wash them again__…Lewis._

"_Liv!" they heard Rollins shout as she__ ducked under some police tape after flashing them her badge. She ran over to them and she__,__ like the others had done, froze on the spot with what she saw. "Oh my God!" she muttered in disbelief, her hand moving over her mouth in an attempt to stop the feeling of nausea that was rising in her throat. _

"_She's going to be fine!" Cragen said as he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her over to the ambulance with the others. Once at the ambulance they watched as Olivia was loaded into the back._

"_One of you want to ride along?"__ the medic asked as he climbed in, the other running round to climb into the driver's seat. _

"_I'll go with her." Cragen said, wasting no time in climbing in. _

"_We'll be right behind you." Fin told him. _

_He, Nick and Rollins all headed back over to his car. "How the hell did he find out where she lived?!" Rollins asked. _

"_Must have followed her home." Amaro guessed. _

"_He's gonna be more than sorry he did when I get a hold of him." Fin said as they all climbed into the car and he sped off after the bus. _

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was looking around her bedroom wondering how she could escape it. First she would have to escape the dining chair she had been tied to. Lewis had wrapped electrical cable around her torso and the back of the chair as well as tightly tying her wrists together and her ankles to the legs of the chair in the same stuff. It bit painfully into her flesh as she tried to pull at it in an attempt to loosen it.

She wanted to try screaming for help again, hoping to get a neighbours attention but Lewis had placed a piece of duck-tape over her mouth so any sound she made was muffled behind it. Lewis had left her in the bedroom alone the moment he had done tying her up. She had immediately began trying to pull free but he had evidently made sure she was going nowhere. It still didn't stop her from trying, it also worked to keep her distracted from the throbbing pain in her head caused by the angry welt left behind from where her head had hit the bedside table. If she lived through this she swore she would add stomping the bedside table to pieces to the list of other stuff that deserved to be stomped. It was growing quickly as it also included her answering machine and the dining chairs she _just had_ to get despite knowing she would never use them.

Her heart skipped a beat as the bedroom door burst open and Lewis walked in, the gun still in his hand. "Hope you weren't trying to escape." he said with the same permanent smirk he usually wore.

Olivia wasn't about to answer him, not that she could with the tape over her mouth, but if it wasn't there she wouldn't because she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of conversation or seeing her lips moved seeing as he apparently liked to watch them. Instead she simply watched him walk over to her. She couldn't help but flinch as he jumped in front of her and thrust the gun against her head.

Having got a satisfactory reaction he stepped back slightly and suddenly ripped the tape from off her mouth. "There's those pretty lips." he said before he crashed his own lips onto them, kissing her hard and painfully, nipping at her bottom lip. Olivia couldn't help the disgusted sound that rolled out of her mouth.

It only made Lewis laugh as he stepped back and glared down at her. "You not the kissing kind?" he said to her.

Olivia just glared at him as blood seeped into her mouth from her bit lip. She considered telling him she didn't have any problem with kissing, but that she just didn't kiss low life criminal scum bags, but her body and mind froze as Lewis unzipped his trousers and reached into them and pulled out his semi hard cock.

Olivia closed her eyes and prayed what she imagined was about to happen next _wouldn't_ happen, but when she opened them again Lewis was right in her face, holding himself as he moved his hardening cock over her face. She wanted to groan with disgust but she was terrified of what would happen if she opened her mouth even slightly, so instead she bit her tongue and pressed her lips tightly together. She flinched once more when she felt the cold barrel of the gun shoved against her temple.

"Open up!" Lewis growled at her.

Olivia knew death would be more pleasant than what Lewis wanted her to do but she didn't want to die but nor did she want to give into him so soon, and the worst thing was she knew that Lewis had far too much planned for her to kill her for not giving him what he wanted so soon into her ordeal.

Her eyes shot open as Lewis grabbed her hair and ripped her heads backwards, his face suddenly right in hers. "You can make this as hard or as easy as you want, Olivia."

_It was the first time he had said her name and she hated the way it rolled off his tongue_.

"I guarantee you that you'll be in a world of pain before I'm finished with you, but if you do as I tell you then perhaps I just might break you in a little easier than I had first planned."

He roughly let go of her hair and took a stand in front of her. He kept the gun pointed at her head his other arm hung by his side but all Olivia could focus on was his now rock hard member. She knew she couldn't trust what he had just said to her. She knew whether she co-operated or not he wasn't about to go easy on her.

Clearly Lewis wasn't going to wait any longer and she wasn't expecting his next move. It was too quick for her to prepare herself for as he swung his fist into her face. Her head whipped to the side and she couldn't hold in the whimper that escaped her lips. It was the chance Lewis needed to pull her head round and force himself into her mouth.

"Bite me and you'll suffer far worse than death!" he warned her…_and she knew he meant it._

**TBC**

**It's so nice to be writing SVU fiction again, it's been far too long since I have. I slightly wish it could be a nice Olivia lives happy - surrounded by fairies and unicorns sickly sweet - type of thing…but that's not really my style. Dark is my style and this story is going to be dark!**

**Is it bad that I will be on holiday in Florida at the time that this episode airs and that is actually going to be the highlight of my holiday because it means I can watch it and that I don't have to wait until it airs here in the UK or watch some crappy version of it on the internet? Okay, so maybe it won't be the highlight but it will be pretty awesome!**

**Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thanks again to all those reading, reviewing and following.**

**So I read that this will happen in the show anyway but I really want to show how the others react over what's happened to Olivia, mostly focusing on the guilt they all feel for whatever reason. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 2**

_Cragen was struggling to keep up with the trolley that was being wheeled towards the ER by a half a dozen nurses and the two ambulance medics who were informing the Doctor in charge of all they knew. _

"_Forties. Caucasian female. Multiple and extensive injuries to the entire body. She has what looks like burns, deep lacerations, a dislocated shoulder and a gun-shot wound to the head." One of the medics informed the Doctor in charge._

_Cragen couldn't understand all the medical jargon they began speaking but it didn't take a genius to know that stats are dropping, severe blood loss, pupils are dilated, patient is unresponsive were all not good things._

"_Likely sexual assault. The vic was found naked and bound to her bed." the other medic announced._

"_We're gonna need to collect a kit." Cragen said._

"_Not anytime soon!" the Doctor announced. "Let's get her straight to the OR!"_

"_Please, just a swab, this guy can't get away with this again." Cragen pleaded. He knew the evidence couldn't be lost. He knew Olivia would never forgive him for letting it happen._

"_I'll take a quick swab when she's being prepped." A young nurse volunteered. _

"_Thank you." Cragen said to her._

"_Let's get a move on!" The Doctor said knowing each second counted right now._

"_Is she going to be okay?!" Cragen asked._

"_I can't answer that until I get her into the OR."_

"_Well what are her chances?" he asked as they came to a stop by the elevators._

_The Doctor stopped as they waited for the elevator doors to open. "You her family?" he asked as he turned to face Cragen. _

"_I'm more important than family when it comes to hers." he told him. _

_The Doctor accepted this and said, "I'm not gonna lie, right now it doesn't look good."_

_Cragen felt like his heart had been punched out of his chest upon hearing this and he could only watch as the elevator doors opened and Olivia was wheeled into it. He never took his eyes off her blood stained face until the doors closed completely, blocking her from his view as she was transported up to the OR. He moved his eyes away from the elevator and suddenly saw his hands, the blood they were covered in. Olivia's blood._

_He closed his eyes for a moment and saw himself back in the ambulance; his hand holding down some dressing on the wound on Olivia's head as the medic desperately tried to get a cannula into a vein so he could give Olivia some essential bloods, but he just couldn't get one no matter how hard he tried._

_As well as holding the dressing down with one hand Cragen had a gentle hold of Olivia's hand, careful not to hold it tight due to how swollen her three middle fingers were for some reason. For a moment he couldn't peel his eyes away from the bruised fingers._

"_Broken!" the medic told him as he caught a glimpse of Cragen looking. _

_The information made him feel even angrier and even more sick to his stomach, he turned to look down at Olivia again and said, "I promise you we'll get Lewis for this."_

_Pulling himself out of his thoughts and opening his eyes to the busy hospital around him again Cragen suddenly began to wonder how and where they should start looking for Lewis first. He turned around to see the others running down the corridor towards him. He walked forward to meet them and the moment they reached each other he said determinedly, "Let's find this son-uva-bitch!"_

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia kept her eyes shut tight, willing the tears that had formed in them to stay back. She wouldn't let Lewis see them as he moved closer to reaching his climax. With a deep and painful thrust that threatened to choke her he finally reached his goal, spilling himself into her mouth.

Olivia wanted to pull her face away and spit out every last drop of him, wanted to throw up just to get the taste of him out of her mouth but Lewis stepped back and quickly clamped his hand over her mouth and pinched her nose. Olivia knew why he was doing it but she refused to swallow what he had left behind after he had pulled away.

A moment passed and her lungs began to burn as she struggled in vain to move away from his grasp. It was no good and suffocation threatened her. Finally she had no choice. The moment Lewis saw that she had swallowed his deposit he stepped back and cheered.

Olivia still spat what she could out of her mouth. She hoped she would be sick but knew it would only add to the burning humiliation she was feeling right now.

"That a girl!" Lewis cheered again as he stepped over to her, his intention to kiss her again but Olivia decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and spat at him, a mixture of the blood from her bust lip and his own disgusting fluids hitting him in the eye. He wasted no time in wiping the mess off his face the smirk never leaving it until he whipped his arm out and hit Olivia across the face.

She didn't even have time for the pain to register when Lewis ripped some more duck-tape off the roll and slapped it down over her mouth. "Bitch!" he growled at her before returning her gesture and spitting back at her, soiling her hair.

He stepped back from her and wiped his face with the back of his sleeve. Olivia watched with anger filled eyes as he put himself back into his pants and then walked over to his jacket which lay on the bed, a black gym bag beside it.

With his attention turned elsewhere she returned her attention to trying to look for ways to escape anything that could… _Her attention was quickly snatched away by a sound that sent a chill all the way down her spine_, the smell that followed made her turn to face Lewis who stood looking at her, a lit cigarette in his mouth, a refillable lighter in his hand, the flame still burning bright. The lighter was the fancy kind were you flip the lid to get a spark. There was a shiny picture of a skull on it and Olivia couldn't help but think it was to taunt her more.

"You smoke?" Lewis asked her as he blew out a puff of smoke.

Olivia just glared at him.

"That's probably a good thing. It's terrible for your health and I'm sure you being a Detective and all would need to be in the best of health." he said as he held the cigarette in his mouth and returned to the gym bag.

Olivia watched as he pulled out a number of objects from within it but from where she was sat she couldn't really see what they were as he threw them down onto the bed. Lewis suddenly glanced over at her and saw her watching him. "Didn't your mother ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat?" he asked.

She chose to ignore his question, not willing to bring her mother into this at all. She continued to watch him as he continued to pull out more objects but she still couldn't actually see what they were. She did however see the pile of metal coat hangers he pulled out and threw to the floor at the end of her bed. They landed with a menacing clang that seemed to echo around the room.

She suddenly felt even more nauseous than she was already feeling after what had just happened to her, something she was already trying hard to forget about. Although she couldn't stop looking at the metal coat hangers, and what she knew they meant, she had to keep glancing up at the cigarette in Lewis's mouth. She could see how quickly he was taking in drags and how quickly it was burning down towards the stub.

_Shit!_ She silently thought to herself as tears of frustration threatened to fall. She began looking around again at the same time trying to pull her hands free. Her heart was pounding in her chest so hard she was sure it was going to burst right through it.

"Would you look at that?" Lewis suddenly said, grabbing her attention.

He now held the remains of his cigarette in his hand. She heard him exhale loudly and waited to see what he would do but she had a horrible feeling that she knew just what he was about to do. "Guess I better put it out before it burns my fingers." Lewis said with a smirk as he began to move towards her.

Olivia quickly began trying to pull at the cables again but Lewis stepped behind her and grabbed her left arm. She tried to pull it out of his grasp but he was too strong, she couldn't see him do it but she certainly felt him press the burning cigarette stub into her forearm. She managed to hold in her cries of pain, something she was sure only angered Lewis more.

"Tough little cookie, ain't ya?" he said bitterly as he threw the stub to the floor and stepped in front of her. "I wonder how many of those I have to put out on your body before you start begging me not to. I wonder _where_ I have to put them out before you tell me you'll do anything if I stop." he questioned in a hushed voice as his eyes snaked over her body.

All Olivia could do was glare at him, hoping he could see how much she hated him in the look she gave him. He crouched down in front of her, looking her square in the eyes.

"I guarantee that I will break you, maybe not tonight, maybe not even in the morning but by tomorrow evening I think you'll be begging me to put that gun into your mouth and pull the fucking trigger. No matter how tough you think you are, you'll be begging me to end your pathetic little life once I really get going on you. This is all just the warm up, honey. And when you do beg me to end it all for you, I'm just gonna go right ahead and….torture you some more and then, maybe then, maybe after all that hell…. I'll put a bullet in that stunning face of yours."

Olivia watched as he stood upright and turned on his heels and walked out of her bedroom, only then did she let the tears she had been holding back fall. Only a few before she forced them to stop. She couldn't break yet. Not yet. _Not ever._ She couldn't, wouldn't let Lewis do that to her… She just needed to work out _how_ she was going to stop him from doing it.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Cragen and Rollins were sat down in the waiting room. Rollins was cradling a plastic cup of black coffee in her hands that she had no intention of actually drinking. She felt too sick to her stomach to even think about it, so instead she just held it and stared into the black liquid like it held some sort of magic cure to all of this._

_Cragen was sat staring at the wall opposite him in silence. The cup of tea in his hand was half drunk and for a split moment he thought about how soothing a drop of whiskey in it would be right now. They were waiting to hear any update on Olivia's condition but she had barely been in surgery more than forty five minutes despite that it felt like she had been in there for hours._

_Munch had now joined them at the hospital as well, he stood looking out of the window at the busy street below. He was trying not to think about the horrible things that he knew had happened to his friend and instead was just trying to picture her sat at her desk, smiling or laughing at one of his awful jokes. He was trying to picture her during the times they had gone to a bar after a shift, the squad, all happy together. He wondered if things in the squad would ever be the same again after this. _

_They all turned to face the door as it burst open. It was a dishevelled looking Cassidy who ran in. Cragen and Rollins both stood to meet him as he stormed over to them. "Where the hell is she, the nurse out there wouldn't tell me a thing?!" Cassidy yelled angrily._

"_She's in the OR." Rollins told him. _

_He turned to face Cragen. "You said she was hurt badly… you never said anything about surgery?" _

"_I didn't want to scare the shit out of you when I knew you would be driving over here. Look, we think he shot her." Cragen told him._

"_You think? He either did or he didn't!"_

"_Fin and Nick said there was too much blood to see through it to confirm the type of injury." Rollins told him. _

_Cassidy put his hands on his head and doubled over, he was sure he was about to be sick. Tears burned in his eyes. "I should have gone over when she didn't reply to my messages. I should have…I should have been there to help her, to stop him… Did he…did he rape her?" he asked, the words tasting as bitter in his mouth as they sounded. _

_Rollins and Cragen could hardly find the words to speak. Rollins attempted to nod but her body barley co-operated. Cassidy saw that the look on their faces confirmed what he had just asked._

"_Nurse is going to do a full rape exam when she comes out of surgery." Munch said as he walked over to his old partner and placed a hand supportively on his back. "The Captain persuaded her to take some swabs for evidence sake when Liv was being prepped. The nurse said that there were obvious signs of trauma. She doesn't doubt that rape took place."_

_Cassidy heaved loudly and had to turn his back on the others and rush over to the corner of the room where he saw a plastic waste bin. He was sure he was going to throw up. He felt so angry for Olivia. He hated that Lewis had hurt her, he hated that he had touched her. He felt so guilty he hadn't done something to stop him. _

_He took a deep breath and managed to force the nauseous feeling back down. He turned to face the others and although shaking with anger was much more composed as he asked. "Where's Fin and Amaro?"_

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Amaro and Fin charged down the corridor towards Lewis's shared room. They pretty much knew he wouldn't be in there but they were going to check anyway. They figured they may find some clue as to where he was at the least. However when they kicked the door down into his room they found no trace of him there. His bed had been stripped and a small cupboard stood open and clearly empty._

"_What the hell?!" his roommate Jose Silva shrieked._

_Amaro charged over to the shorter man and grabbed him by the throat and pushed him up against the wall. "Where's your roommate?"_

"_How should I know? I'm not his sitter and that's a good thing because the guy is insane!" Jose cried._

"_You don't have to tell us that!" Fin spat at him._

"_He tell you were he was going when he cleared his crap out?" Amaro asked as he tightened his grip slightly._

"_He cleared it out over two days ago. Just mentioned something about seeing some woman, a cop or something, and then calling by his lawyers place after that."_

_Amaro turned to face Fin, "You think he could be at his lawyers?" he asked _

"_It's worth checking it out." Fin replied._

_Amaro let go of Jose and had just turned on his heels when Jose chirped up, "William stole my lighter, you gonna get it back for me? I mean you guys are cops!"_

_Amaro spun and slammed his fist into the wall, right by Jose's face. Jose was shocked, he hadn't expected that reaction. "It…err I…I guess it's probably not that important."_

"_Right!" Amaro growled at him before he and Fin left the room. _

_They stormed out to the car in silence but the tension in the atmosphere around them was as loud as a screaming banshee. "Nick!" Fin finally said. _

"_What?" Amaro snapped as he turned to face him, not meaning to have snapped._

_His attitude bugged Fin a little, it reminded him of Stabler too much, and he had to make it known that he wouldn't take it. "Hey! You think I didn't wanna pummel that little prick in there too. I get this is a tough case but don't take it out me, go punch a locker or whatever it is you hot heads do when something pisses you off!" Fin stormed past him, heading for the car._

_Amaro turned to face him again and said, "She's my partner, damn right it's tough!"_

_Fin stopped in his tracks, turned and walked back over to Amaro. "Yeah and she's been my friend for a hell of a lot longer than she's been your partner but you don't see me losing it here."_

_Amaro knew he was right. He took a deep breath and confessed. "I was gonna call by." _

"_What?" Fin asked. _

"_Last night. I was worried about Liv after the case. I knew she took it hard, when I left her in the squad room that last night she was on the edge, Fin. I figured I'd give her a day and then talk to her about it….but instead I went to bed early. I fucking lay sleeping when that monster was… Oh Jesus…when he was doing whatever sick thing to her that his twisted mind had conjured up."_

"_And I called her and text her a bunch of time and didn't get a reply. I thought about calling round to see her too but I stayed at home watching the lousy game. We can all feel guilty over this, Nick, but none of us are to blame here. The best thing we can do for Liv now is catch this prick and when we beat the shit out of him make sure we leave her the final blow."_

_Nick smiled slightly at Fin's plan. Everything Fin had said was the truth but it didn't make him feel any less guilty. He wondered how Olivia would view him as a partner when he didn't even have her back when she'd needed it the most._

"_Let's go check out his lawyer's place." he said before he climbed into the car. _

_Fin sighed and walked around the car so to get in the passenger's side seat. He was wishing he felt his own words were true more than he had sounded like he did because truth be told, he felt guilty as hell, but he couldn't let his guilt over power him, not just yet anyway._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia knew it was the worst thing she could do but she was taking a break from tugging at the cables around her wrists. _They were in agony._ She could just about glance at them over her shoulder and she could see the bruises that were already forming around them and she could even see a few areas where the rougher parts of the cable had cut into her flesh, wounds that were only made deeper with each twist and turn of the cable as she tried to wriggle out of it.

She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, the mournful sound muffled behind the tape over her mouth. _Her mouth_, _God it felt dry_. She was dying for a drink, not only to wash the remaining taste of Lewis out of her mouth but also to quench her thirst. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a drink. She was sure the only drinks she'd had all day were her morning coffee and one more coffee she'd half drank before court.

Deciding the slight break she'd taken was more than long enough she began tugging at the cables again, at the same time working on the ones around her ankles.

**~0~0~**

Lewis was stood in the living room. He was looking out of the window as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his packet of cigarettes. He was angry and disappointed to see he only had a couple left. "Fuck!" he growled, "This just won't do." he said to himself deciding he would have to go out and get some more. He wished he'd been more prepared and got them beforehand but he'd been so eager to beat Olivia home after having already followed her home the first opportunity he had got.

He knew he shouldn't risk it, risk leaving her, but he had to get cigarettes. He knew there was something he could do to stop Olivia from causing trouble while he was out, and so he headed for her bedroom.

**~0~0~**

Olivia was working on trying to wriggle her feet free when she suddenly realised if she could get her boots off she may have a little more wriggle room. She was about to kick her first boot off when she heard the door handle jiggle. She quickly stopped her attempts and prayed she looked innocent of attempting to escape.

Lewis walked in with a cigarette in his hand, it was a sight that made Olivia's heart sink. "Looks like I'm almost all out." he said as he slowly walked over to her purposely taking in long drags in an effort to burn his cigarette down the stub quicker. "There's a corner store just a few minutes away from here. I'm gonna go there, and you are gonna wait here for me to get back. No funny business." he told her.

Olivia just nodded her head, she'd let him think she'd behave if it meant he'd trust her enough to leave her alone. Lewis crouched down beside her, so he was eye level with her.

"Are you saying I can trust you not to try to escape or try to call out for help while I'm out?" he asked her, taking another drag of his cigarette.

Olivia just nodded, a little longer than necessary but it was to let him hear what he wanted to. She flinched and winced in pain as he suddenly grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back as he blew smoke into her face. Once more she could hardly contain the cry of pain as he put his cigarette out on her, this time putting it out in the hollow above her collar bone.

He roughly let go of her and stood up straight. "I just don't believe you, Olivia." he said before he slammed the barrel of the gun into her face, a blow so hard the chair tipped over, crashing to the floor, taking an unconscious Olivia with it.

Lewis knelt down on the floor beside her. He callously brushed her hair back off her face and admired her bleeding nose. "Be right back, honey." he said before he stood up and walked out of her bedroom, shutting the door behind him, leaving Olivia alone and unconscious and losing her chance to escape with each second that passed by where she remained unconscious.

**TBC**

**What will happen next you ask? Next update will reveal. **

**Thanks for reading, please review.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks again to everyone reading and reviewing and all those following. **

**I wonder if we could start some sort of online petition to get NBC to air the episode early and in all countries on the same night so that no one has to wait….? **_**Yeah I know, it's never going to happen**_**. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 3**

Olivia woke from unconscious and into a whole lot of pain. Her nose was throbbing and she could feel that it was still bleeding slightly. The slow trickle of blood was dribbling down her face due to the way she lay on her side on the floor where the chair had landed. It took her a moment to focus on what the hell was happening, her thoughts were all jumbled as her mind raced. Then suddenly she remembered, _Lewis had gone out_, _he had left her alone_. Remembering how she had realised how much easier it would be for her to try wriggle her ankles free if she didn't have her boots made her instantly kick them off one at a time.

With them gone she began trying to wriggle her ankles free and she almost cheered when the cable began working its way down over her feet and after a minute or two she was able to pull her left ankle free. She hooked her toe around the cable around her other ankle and pushed the cable down as best she could whilst trying to pull her leg up towards her body, trying to pull her ankle free. After another minute she did it. _Now she truly did want to cheer with joy, then she realised she somehow had to stand up from the floor whilst still attached to the chair._

It was more than a struggle but she was able to roll onto her front in a sort of praying position: on her knees with her face touching the floor. She was able to move back onto her knees, now in more of a kneeling type of position with the top half of her body parallel to the floor. She was using the strength in her abdomen to hold the back of the chairs up. Slowly and a little shakily she was able to drag one of her legs from under her and managed to place her foot flat on the floor.

The position she was in now was painful to say the least but she wasn't about to give up. She began to drag her other leg forward like she just had the other but at the same time she slowly pushed herself up off the floor with her leg that was firmly planted beneath her. It was working and despite almost falling flat on her face at one point she soon moved to place the chair back down on it legs as it should be and sat down on it to catch her breath.

Now she just had to work out how to squirm her body out of the cable around her torso. With her legs free she was able to stand up, despite it being awkward and somewhat painful as she was still half tied to the chair. Standing up actually made it easier for her squirm around in the cables tied around her body and like some sort of miracle they too suddenly began to loosen before they simply worked themselves out of the knot Lewis had made. Olivia smiled behind the tape as she thought that maybe his long streak of good luck was _finally_ coming to an end.

She was able to step away from the chair and although the cable around her wrists didn't seem to want to budge she knew she was at least half way to freedom now she could move. She slowly crept over to her bedroom door and turning her back to it so she could use her hands she was able to twist the door nob and open it up. She turned around and used her foot to slowly nudge the door open.

She took a deep breath a poked her head out of her bedroom. Her apartment was in silence but she knew Lewis still might be in it somewhere. She had no way of telling how long she'd been out cold on the floor and Lewis had told her he wouldn't be long just before he'd knocked her out. She began inching her way down the corridor but suddenly she froze, only to then back up and check the bathroom, relived to find it empty.

She took a deep breath and then slowly made her way up the hall, a little more confident in the feeling that she might actually still be home alone. She got to the end of the hallway and suddenly her new found confidence was gone. She knew if she stepped into the living room and Lewis was in there she was done for. He'd beat the crap outta her for having broken free.

"Do it!" she told herself and stepped out into the living room. To her relief she found it empty and a quick glance in the kitchen told her that was empty too. She made her way over to the front door in a hope to put the chain on and lock Lewis out. She was even going to put the dead bolt on for extra security but she quickly realised she couldn't do that as she couldn't move her arms high up enough to reach either and thanks to the tape over her mouth she couldn't even try to put the chain on using her mouth which she was sure she would have been able to do otherwise.

Trying to think quickly she knew that she had to get the cables off her wrists if only so she could secure the door. _She needed to cut the cables. _She made her way into the kitchen and turning her back to the utilities drawer she was able to glance over her shoulder and watch as she pulled it open. She fished about in it until she was able to grab a large kitchen knife. She knew it was sharp as hell as she'd only used the thing once. She tried to lodge it in the drawer and close it so that just the blade poked out and her plan was to scratch the cables against the blade and cut through it but the damn knife slipped back into the drawer.

She growled with frustration and tried again. To her disappointment the same thing happened again. Third times a charm she told herself as she gave it one more shot. This time to her delight the knife stayed put and she quickly began using it to cut through the cables but they were so damn thick and it was taking too long, she knew Lewis could be back any second. She yelped as the blade nipped at her skin but she ignored the pain and continued, working as fast as she could.

It seemed to take forever but slowly she could feel the cable starting to loosen. After another minute of two she had to laugh with joy and amazement as she felt the cables finally free her and drop to the floor by her feet. She was just about to reach up and remove the tape, hoping her arms wouldn't be too stiff and prevent her from actually doing so, when she heard her key turn in the door.

She dashed over to the door and pushed it shut again using her whole body. She then reached up with a slow stiff arm and tried to put the chain on but she was too slow and Lewis barged the door open again, sending her flying. She wasn't about to stand there and let him grab her so she took off running across the living room. She knew what she really needed was a weapon of some sort but she had no idea where'd he'd put her gun when he'd taken it and her badge from her before having tied her to the chair.

Lewis slammed the door shut behind him, threw his bag of supplies down onto the floor and threw the chain on all in lightning speed. He then turned and ran after Olivia who had ran over to the window in a bid to climb through it but her arms were too stiff from having been tied behind her back for so long to provide her with the strength she needed from them to push the window open and Lewis was right on her tail.

She dodged him, barely, as he lunged at her causing him to crash into the wall beside the window. She grabbed the heavy lamp off the side unit as she ran past it and threw it at Lewis without really aiming it properly so he was able to duck under it and it just crashed into the wall and shattered into pieces behind him. She began grabbing anything and everything she could, throwing it all at him, but it all just seemed to miss him and the ones that did hit him did little if anything to hurt him.

"Enough!" he roared at her as he whipped the gun out from the back of his trousers. "You said you'd be a good girl."

Olivia reached up and carefully ripped the tape off her mouth. "I lied." she told him out of breath and her voice shaking with fear. "Let's end this now, Lewis. I'll even give you a head start before I call for back-up."

Lewis just laughed at her. "I have the gun here, Olivia, you're in no place to make demands."

Olivia knew he was right but still….she had to try and negotiate with him, even it was pointless, "I won't even tell anyone what you did to me." she said to him.

"What's the matter, embarrassed your colleagues might see you as nothing more than one of the pathetic victims that walk through your precinct doors every day?" Lewis scoffed.

Olivia wasn't about to answer him. Instead she began slowly inching her way towards the front door.

"It's not gonna happen, Olivia." Lewis told her with his usual smirk as he saw her inching towards the door in a bid for freedom.

Olivia sighed angrily and then growled in frustration. "You tell me how you think this will play out, Lewis? What, you'll…you'll keep me tied up, burn me, beat me…_rape me_ and then what? You won't get away with it this time. You could kill me when you're done but my squad will know it was you and they will make sure you go down for a very, very long time."

"That's just the thing…_I mean you're right by the way_, I am gonna burn you, I am gonna beat you and I am gonna fuck you in whatever way I choose and then I am gonna kill you, but your little friends at the precinct will never know what happened to you because they will never find your body. See, I have the perfect place where all this is going to end; out in the middle of nowhere, no one to hear you scream and I have got your grave already dug out." he told her.

Olivia felt tears building in her eyes, she couldn't stop them. They only got heavier as Lewis continued. "You'll be rotting in the ground, nothing more than food for worms while your colleagues try to find you. And sure they will look for a while because it's their job, but then they'll give up and move on and only I will ever know what happened to you."

"You clearly don't know my friends because they will hunt you down to the ends of the earth to see your victims get the justice they deserve." Olivia spat at him.

"They can look, Sweetheart, but they'll never find me. What can I say, luck is always on my side. You on the other hand, you're not so lucky. Now get your ass back into that bedroom!" he snapped as he moved the gun up and aimed it at her head.

_Not a chance_, Olivia thought to herself. "Help me!" she screamed as she ran over to the wall and began pounding her fists against it hoping that her neighbours would hear her. She was sure at this time they would be in bed and that their apartment would be in silence so they would hear her desperate screams. Little did she know her neighbours still had two more weeks in Australia before they would be back in their apartment. There was no neighbour on the other side of her.

Olivia tried to make a run for it as Lewis ran at her but he was too quick for her and he grabbed her arm and twisted it up behind her back, slammed her against the wall and then smashed the gun down on the back of her head. It wasn't hard enough to knock her unconscious but it hurt like hell.

"Help!" she screamed as Lewis dragged her back towards the bedroom. "Help! Help!" she screamed her voice breaking with emotion as Lewis dragged her through her bedroom door.

She could do nothing to stop him as he pushed her down onto the bed and quickly climbed on top of her his heavy body straddling her. It was then she got a proper look at the items he had pulled out of his gym back earlier. "Help!" she screamed again as she continued to look at the objects. She only got a second longer to look at them before Lewis grabbed hold of her face and turned it to face him, it was only so he could slap some more tape over her mouth, silencing her cries.

He couldn't make out her angry words as he began to tightly wrap the duck-tape around her wrists. "I usually like my ladies tied a little looser. Its fun to watch them struggle, but I gotta say, none of them have ever been as lively as you. You're feisty!" he told her as he ripped the end of the tape off.

They were tied painfully tight and Olivia knew she would never be able to get herself out of it. She whimpered in pain as he pushed her arms flat above her head. The angle was awkward and putting painful pressure on her shoulder. Lewis grabbed some more electrical cable of out his gym bag and secured some to the frame of the bed the other end he fixed around the duck-tape wrapped around Olivia wrists. When he was done Olivia was securely tied to the bed. _She was going nowhere._

"Now we can get on with the party." he told her before he climbed off of her, grabbing something off the bed beside her and shoving it into his pocket.

Olivia was left in her bedroom alone as Lewis walked out. She could only wonder what he had in store next, she couldn't help but be angry with herself for having not escaped.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Fin and Amaro were driving with the sirens on as they made their way to Vanessa Mayer's house. They had managed to obtain her address and her telephone numbers but had yet to actually reach her over the phone. Both men couldn't help but think it was only a bad thing that she wasn't answering her phone._

_Amaro had to suddenly slam on. He hadn't really been paying enough attention to the road ahead of him and neither had Fin so they were both shocked to see the gridlock up ahead. Even with the sirens on cars couldn't inch out of their way as there was simply nowhere for them to go. _

_Car horns and angry passengers were yelling to one another out of their car windows but Fin and Amaro ignored all this, their minds too focused on where they had to be. _

"_Shit! We can't afford to sit here and wait for this to clear it could take hours!" Fin yelled._

_Amaro knew Fin was right, he threw the car into reverse and quickly began to back up before spinning the car round one hundred and eight degrees. Cars coming up behind him were honking their horns at his irrational driving. "The other way is going to add another forty five minutes onto the journey at this time and fuck knows how extensive this grid lock is. It could go on for miles in each direction."_

"_I'm ringing Rollins, telling her to get back-up and get to Mayer's house. We can't afford to give Lewis the chance to run again." Fin said as he pulled out his cell phone._

_**~0~0~**_

_Rollins had replaced Munch by the window, looking out as the sky grew heavy with storm clouds. She couldn't help but think that the gloomy weather only reflected their current situation. Couldn't help but think how it reflected her own feelings. She was about to think more about how she was feeling when her cell phone began to ring. _

_Upon seeing it was her partner she immediately answered, "Fin, do you have Lewis?" she asked. _

_The others saw her face drop and knew that Fin hadn't given her the answer they were all hoping for._

"_You're kidding….. Okay… I'll get there right away. See you soon." she said before she ended the call and put her cell back into her pocket._

"_What's going on?" Munch asked. _

"_Lewis's roommate at the half way house said that Lewis cleared out over two days ago. He said that Lewis said something about seeing some cop and then going to see his lawyer." she told them._

"_We all know how that ends." Cragen announced._

"_Well they always say Karmas a bitch!" Munch muttered. _

"_His lawyer may be a stupid bitch but she doesn't deserve what he's likely to do to her." Rollins said as she turned to face the older detective._

"_And neither did Olivia but it's that stupid bitch's, as you called her, fault that Liv is fighting for her life in surgery as we speak. I say give Lewis a half hour to show her what she allowed him to put Liv through." Munch protested angrily. _

_Rollins had to ignore Munch, there wasn't time to argue this one out. She turned to face Cragen and said, "Fin and Amaro are stuck in some crazy traffic. Capt. I have to get there, if Lewis is still there…"_

"_Go!" Cragen ordered, "Munch, go with…"_

"_No, I'll go with her!" Cassidy said matter-of-factly. "If that prick is still there I wanna be the one to put the cuffs on him."_

"_We need him bringing in in one piece, Brian." Cragen reminded him._

"_He'll be in one piece, but I'm not saying how great a condition that piece will be in…"_

"_Trust me, I wanna beat the living daylights out of this guy too, but we cannot do anything that will risk him walking away a free man." Cragen reminded him. "We can't let him get away with what he's done to her."_

"_Fine!" Cassidy said, "Call me, the second you hear something. I'll be back before she wakes up." Cassidy said, determined to think positive._

_Cragen just nodded. "Now go get this scum bag."_

_Rollins and Cassidy nodded and practically ran out of the waiting room and out of the hospital._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was pulling on cables hoping to put enough force behind it to break the frame of the bed to get them loose. She was hoping if she could get free she would be able to climb out of her bedroom window and jump onto the fire escape. _It was a stupidly dangerous plan._ The fire escape was at least three foot away from her bedroom window and she would be jumping over to it from an awkward angle and with her hands still tied in front of her. All these factors would only make it more risky, but it was worth a shot….right? _She just couldn't think about the thirty plus foot drop to the ground below._

**~0~0~**

Lewis was leant over the kitchen counter were he had prepared a small amount of meth. He snorted the substance and stood there for a moment and let the drug work its way through his system. He then snorted another small amount and again stood back and smiled as the drug began to have its desired effect.

He suddenly caught sight of the oven opposite him. "Perfect." He smirked as he walked over to it. He began searching through Olivia's cupboards until he found what he was looking for, _a frying pan_. He took it out and wasted no time in lighting the hob.

He placed the pan down on top of the high flame and began to look around. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some coins and the item he had just grabbed off the bed, _an old war medal that belonged to his Grandfather_. He found the biggest coin he had in his hand, a fifty cent, and threw it into the pan to warm up along with the eagle shaped medal. He then spotted Olivia's house key on the floor by the door from where he had thrown it down during their altercation earlier. He picked it up and pulled it off the key-ring and threw that into the pan too. He wanted more so he continued looking around for other items as the key, the medal and the coin got hotter _and hotter_.

**~0~0~**

Olivia had been trying to free herself for what felt like hours but had in fact only been about ten minutes or so. She was exhausted from it all but she couldn't give up. _That's what she kept telling herself, over and over. _But she suddenly had to stop trying to break the bed when she heard Lewis approaching. She lay there, shaking like a leaf, and watched as he walked into the room. She could instantly see that he was wearing an oven glove and carrying a hot smelling frying pan. Her eyes were wide in shock as she knew the pan would likely contain heated objects that he was planning on burning her with.

Not about to let him she wriggled across the bed and was able to twist her body round and stand up right beside it. It was an awkward and somewhat painful position but she ignored that and just tried with all her strength to break the bed frame, desperate to escape.

"I never told you to get up, Sweetheart." Lewis said as he put the pan down on a chest of drawers by the door.

Olivia tried to ignore him and just continued with her efforts. She was too distracted with trying to escape to notice that Lewis had walked right over to her and now stood directly behind her. His hands came to rest on her hips and he pressed his body against hers.

"You not ready for that yet? Well that okay because there's something else we can do instead if you want." he whispered into her ear as his hands began to trail over her body. One coming up to fondle her breast, the other to grab her between her legs.

Olivia tried to shrug him off her but she was standing at too awkward an angle to be able to really do anything. Lewis kicked the back of her legs from underneath her causing her to fall face first down onto her bed. He quickly flipped her over, twisting her arms into an excruciating position.

Olivia began screaming for _help_ again behind the tape covering her mouth as Lewis leant over her and unbuttoned her trousers. "Make up your mind, Detective. It's this," he said as he shoved one of his hands into the top of her trousers and used the other to tear her shirt open slightly, revealing part of her black lacy bra that covered her right breast, "Or that!" he said removing his hands and pointing to the pan of hot objects.

Olivia shook her head, she wanted to tell him not to do any of this, once more try to convince him to just leave her alone, give him the opportunity to save his ass. Lewis, thinking she had said no to the hot objects, pulled her shirt wide open, revealing both her bra covered breasts and her perfectly toned stomach. "No!" she screamed at him, again the sound muffled behind the tape.

"You want that instead?" he asked as he once more pointed at the hot pan.

Again Olivia shook her head.

"Choose!" he bellowed at her.

Olivia just shook her head again as tears formed in her eyes. "Then I'll choose." Lewis said. Olivia could hear it in his voice that he was pissed off by her wasting his time.

She watched as he pushed himself off her and walked over to the pan and put the oven glove back on before picking the pan up. He began to walk over to her again and she knew that she wasn't about to let him burn her, _not a chance in hell!_ She waited for him to get by the bed and then kicked her leg out as quickly as a flash. Her knee and shin slammed into Lewis's stomach making him stumble back, falling to the floor as the wind blew out of him.

The pan fell to the floor with a loud and angry clatter. Olivia could now see the items he was going to have used to burn her. A key, that she was sure her front door key, a 50 cent coin, a medal, and the metal end of a fish slice that had been snapped off its handle. Olivia could smell the way they all burned into her bedroom carpet and couldn't bring herself to think about much pain they would have caused her as they had burnt into her flesh.

Lewis suddenly sprung up from the floor and dove at her. He crashed down heavily on top of her and she immediately began to struggle beneath him. His fist connected quick and hard with her cheek, the pain from it exploding behind her eyes which immediately began to water. She'd no longer registered that pain when he did it again, hitting practically the same spot. She couldn't help but whimper in pain and she knew he heard it.

However, it did little to satisfy him like she thought it would have. He was far too angry that she had hurt him again. "Fucking bitch!" he growled angrily at her.

She watched in horror as he pulled the gun out of the back of his trousers and placed it under her chin. "You fucking whore!" he growled at her, "Bitch!" he roared before using the back of his hand to hit her across the face. This time her other cheek took the blow.

His anger was uncontrollable as he ripped the tape off her mouth and tightly pinched her face in his hands and placed the gun against her lips.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull the fucking trigger!" he spat at her.

With tears rolling down her face and unable not to sob Olivia simply replied, "I want to live…"

**TBC**

**I had to use that line. It gives me chills when Olivia says it on the promo. Scary stuff! Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing. **

**Ps, Okay so I was watching supernatural last night and I heard this song on it and I just knew I had to do a chapter in this story that contained it because it is just sooo chilling and so perfect for this episode. In fact if they hadn't already filmed the episode I would call the writers (Not that I would know how to go about this) and ask them to use it. Anywhoo, I can't do that so (**_**Warning: spoiler for next chapter**_**) the song will be used by me. It's called **_**O Death by Jen Titus**_**. It you've not heard it I'm begging you to you tube it because it will make the next chapter have a bigger impact and seem a hell of a lot sinister. **

**Thanks again.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all those reading, reviewing and following. **

**So I hope some of you looked up the song used in this chapter. If not you may want to after reading. (Parts in black italics are the lyrics)**

**I have to warn you all that this is probably the darkest thing I've wrote and my style is dark but this chapter is really dark. Contains a pretty graphic rape scene from the start so if you don't want to read that then please feel free to skip to the middle because I don't think you'll want to miss the end of this one. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing them.**

**Chapter 4**

_**O death…**_

"Say it again!" Lewis told her as he slowly inched the gun away from her face.

She hesitated a moment and then swallowed into a dry throat, "I wanna live." she told him again, her tears continuing to fall.

_**O death…**_

Lewis smirked and then let a short and _eerie_ silence fall over them. "You sure about that?" he asked her menacingly before slowly licking his bottom lip.

_**O death….**_

Olivia just nodded as she continued to look at him, her eyes pleading with him not to kill her.

_**Won't you spare me over another year?**_

She watched with relief as he reached over and placed the gun on the bedside table. She then turned to look up at him again as he looked down at her with sadistic eyes. Her heart skipped a beat as he let go of her face for a moment only to then place his splayed hand over her entire face. Slowly, he ran his hand over it before moving it down over her throat which he then gripped tightly and ripped her head to the side so he could begin to place kisses on her exposed neck.

His kisses made her feel sick to the pit of her stomach, they were hungry, lustful and he kept nipping at her skin. As he began to move his hand down over her chest he began to move his kisses up her neck and over her jaw before placing a hard lingering kiss on her mouth. This time it was her top lip hit bit so hard it began to bleed.

_**But what is this that I can't see with ice cold hands taking hold of me….**_

He sat upright so he could look down at her. As he moved both hands to her breasts Olivia felt her face burning with humiliation. She wished she could get him off her, wished she could grab the gun and put in his mouth and pull the trigger.

She shut her eyes tight as she felt him grab hold of her bra in both hands. With one quick strong tug he ripped it open, exposing her naked breasts to him. Right there and then she decided she would keep her eyes closed throughout her ordeal. She knew it was coming and she knew if she begged him not to he would offer her only one alternative…._death…_

_**When God is gone and the Devil takes hold who'll have mercy on your soul... **_

She figured if she kept her eyes closed she could send her mind somewhere else, pretend this wasn't happening to her. She felt his body move and felt him began to plant sloppy kisses on her shoulder, moving them down her chest and onto her breasts. Her eyes suddenly shot open and a pain filled cry burst from her mouth as he clamped his teeth down into her flesh, biting her breast so hard she felt his teeth pierce her skin.

She began to sob as he only became more excited by the pain he had caused her. He reached down between the bodies and began to work her trousers off. He crawled backwards off her slightly so he could pull them right off her, leaving her lying beneath him in just her panties and her torn shirt and bra.

"Not bad at all!" he said to her with a very satisfied smirk, "So much better than Alice." he told her, "And that face," he said as he slapped his splayed hand down on her face again and trailed it roughly over it, "A work of art! Talk about fortunate genes." he said removing his hand from her face. "I bet your father hated it when his little girl grew up and became a woman. I bet he hated knowing that you let men fuck you. I wonder what he'd think if he knew the things I'm gonna make you do, things I bet you've never dreamt of wanting to do before."

"He's dead!" she growled at him.

"Too bad…." Lewis said, more than a little disappointed. "What about your mother, what will she think."

"She's dead too!" she growled, hoping it would disappoint him further, it offered her an ounce of satisfaction that it did so.

"Then you really will die all alone..." he mocked.

_**O death…**_

Olivia wasn't expecting his next movement so she almost jumped out of her skin when he grabbed hold of her panties and tore them right off her body. She couldn't help or stop the desperate cry that fell from her mouth.

_**O death…**_

She quickly shut her eyes again and tried to vision herself elsewhere as Lewis shoved three fingers into her. She prayed this would all be a dream, a nightmare, which she was having that she would wake up from only to find Brian lying next to her. She would wrap herself into his protective arms and have him hold her until she forgot all about the dream. But a sharp pain between her legs as Lewis added another finger told her that this wasn't some dream or some nightmare she would wake up from, _this was her reality_.

That didn't mean she had to open her eyes and as Lewis continued to use his fingers to assault her body she could only silently pray it would be over with quickly. She had thought maybe her prayers had been answered as Lewis pulled his fingers out of her. She didn't see his hand slap her face but she certainly felt it.

"Open your eyes!" he warned her.

Olivia did as he told her only so she could glare at him, knowing her eyes showed him just how much she hated him, just how much she wanted to see him dead. ]

"That a girl." he said before he threw his body down onto her.

_**O death…**_

Olivia gasped in pain and shock as he suddenly thrust his hardened cock into her body. It was quickly followed by another and another hard thrust. It was agony as her body protested against his unwanted and brutal intrusion. She wanted to beg him to stop but she was in too much shock and her head trying to register too much pain. _She couldn't believe this was happening to her._

She yelped in pain as he slammed himself deep into her over and over and over. She felt like he was trying to tear her in half and it was excruciating. For a split second she let herself wonder if death may have actually been the better option.

_**O death…**_

_Hurry up and finish_ she kept repeating in her head with each painful thrust. It's why she wanted to cry when he pulled himself out of her and assaulted her body with kisses that nipped at her flesh again, leaving behind small bruises that would hurt a lot more later on, only to then continue his attack.

She cried out in agony as without any warning he slammed himself into her again. He wasn't even attempting to hold his weight off her as he did so, so his body crushing hers only added to the pain she was in. She couldn't hold in her tears as each painful thrust did more and more damage to her body and mind.

_**O death….**_

A sickening groan that rose out from his throat told her that he was getting close to his climax. And then a moment later, "Fuck!" he groaned as he began to spill himself into her, keeping himself pushed deep inside her as he spilled every last drop into her.

"Fuck, that amazing!" he said as he collapsed onto her.

Olivia immediatley tried to wriggle out from under him but he slapped his hands down on the bed either side of her face causing her to look up at him in confusion.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked her.

"You got what you wanted." she spat at him.

"Oh, baby," he said to her as he tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, "Not even close!" he told her.

He began to place kisses over her body again, and she knew he was warming himself up again for round two. Burning tears stung her eyes as she realised she would have to go through the pain and humiliation all over again. She whimpered in pain as it all began again, the kisses, the nipping, and she cried out in agony when she felt him sink his teeth into her side. She could feel his cock hardening against her thigh as he rubbed against her.

_**No wealth no ruin no silver no gold nothing satisfies me but your soul…**_

Everything that was happening was soul destroying and she wanted to fall into some deep hole away from it all. More so when she could feel that he was ready again but she wasn't and so wasn't prepared when he thrust into her. She just cried out loudly in pain and began to sob quietly as he panted like a dog along with each thrust.

_**O death…**_

Her body was riddled with pain as his assault continued. Even more so when he tucked his hand under her thigh and pushed it right up by her side so he could move deeper into her.

_**Well I am death, none can excel I'll open the door to heaven or hell…**_

Olivia closed her eyes and turned to face the wall and begged the God she had never truly believed existed to spare her this pain and suffering, but she knew help wasn't coming for her, not from him at least. She truly was stuck in this nightmare alone and she knew it was only going to keep getting worse. She opened her tear filled eyes and let her hot tears fall.

Lewis continued and with each angry thrust the pain just got more and more intense. It began to call out to Olivia, beckoning her to let the darkness that was falling all around her take over her. She began to let it. Knowing that whilst she was uncurious she would not have to know what vile things that Lewis was doing to her.

_**O death…**_

The darkness began to grow as her eyes grew heavier and heavier.

_**O death…**_

"Don't go getting weak on me, baby." Lewis suddenly barked at her as he slapped her face quick but hard a couple of times. She could feel him still inside her and it only made her choke on her sobs. She wanted him to just let her drift into the darkness. He could still take what he wanted from her.

"I'm just getting started with you." Lewis whispered into her ear.

He had no intention of letting her miss a moment of what he was doing. He thrust deep into her again and again Olivia simply let pain and exhaustion take over but another hard slap brought her back from the edge of darkness and that was how it continued. Each time she began to fall out of it all he brought her right back.

Her tears began to fall heavier as she realised that The Beast, the devil himself, had destroyed her and that she had chosen to let him over death.

_**My name is death and the end is here…**_

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Cassidy was just about able to stop himself from falling flat on his ass as he kicked the door open to Vanessa Mayer's apartment. He had knocked, twice, and that was about as long as he had been willing to wait for her to open up. _

_Rollins had no complaint with this and now inside the somewhat large apartment she began searching, her gun loaded and ready._

_Cassidy headed off in the other direction. Both of them noticed how different things seemed in this apartment. Whereas Olivia's and Alice's apartment had been trashed Vanessa's looked in pristine contention, no sign what so ever of a struggle…or so Cassidy thought…he then came to what he suspected was the bedroom. _

_The door wasn't closed completely but had been pulled too. What he noticed was the blood smeared door handle. He nudged the door open with his foot and found himself with a clear view of Vanessa Mayer's bed. _

"_Amanda!" he called out. _

_Rollins quickly joined him. She sighed when she saw the same thing Cassidy was looking at, a blood stained bed and a dead blonde haired woman who occupied it. "That's not Vanessa!" Rollins pointed out. _"_I'll call it in." she said._

_Cassidy just nodded as he walked into the bedroom. In here showed more signs of a struggle but not like what had been found at the other crime scenes. Cassidy noticed the obvious use of meth and a lot of cigarette stubs. __He walked over to the young blonde who lay on her back, a bullet hole in the middle of her forehead. Cassidy sighed heavily as he looked over at the window which stood open and wondered had it been Lewis's exit place. He shook his head in frustration as he wondered if they would ever catch The Beast. _

"_What the hell is going on?!" he suddenly heard echo through the apartment._

"_You can't go in there!" he heard Rollins tell someone._

"_It's my apartment I can do what I want!" he heard the woman yell back at her. _

_It was young red head, Vanessa Mayer, who suddenly appeared in the doorway. Her face drained of all colour as she looked into the bedroom at the bloodied crime scene. _

"_Jenny! No!" she cried, collapsing on the spot. _

_Rollins was quick to grab her as she stood behind her. "Who is she, Vanessa?" she asked._

"_My sister! She's my baby sister. She's staying with me for a while. Oh God is she…?" Vanessa cried, hiding the scene from view behind her hands._

"_She's gone." Rollins told her. _

"_Did Billy do this to her?" she asked. _

"_Billy?" Cassidy scoffed, "Yeah, it was Billy! The man you let walk! The man who you paid for to be a free man!" Cassidy yelled at her._

"_Cassidy!" Rollins growled at him as Vanessa sobbed uncontrollably in her arms._

"_You might as well have shot your sister in the head yourself!" Cassidy yelled, making his hand into a gun and pointing it right in Vanessa's face as he seethed with anger._

"_Brian, enough!" Rollins warned, knowing that if Vanessa Mayer was to completely break down and shut off they may lose any chance at knowing where Lewis could be._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was lying looking up at her bedroom ceiling. It had been over forty minutes or so since Lewis had finally rolled off her and had simply lay beside her, napping peacefully. She closed her eyes, desperate to give into exhaustion again but images of her most recent and most brutal assault flashed to life and she had to quickly open her eyes to get them to stop.

She didn't need to see images of what he had done during the hour and more long assault. Each time she had hoped he would be done he would pull out of her only to make himself ready for her again. It had been excruciatingly slow torture that she was sure wouldn't be the only time while she remained in The Beast's clutches.

She sighed heavily and had to wince as pain shot through her entire body because of it. What she wouldn't give for some painkillers or some alcohol, anything to numb her senses to what was happening. _To what had happened so far._

Before long she felt the same niggling sensation that had been growing stronger and stronger in her bladder over the last twenty minutes. She had to pee. She didn't want to have to ask Lewis but she had no choice.

"Lewis," she said, her voice weak. She knew he hadn't heard her because she'd barely heard herself. She took a deep shaky breath and this time was louder when she said, "Lewis!"

"Shut the_ fuck_ up!" he groaned, not wanting to be woken up yet.

She hesitated for a moment, then she told him "I have to pee." _God it was humiliating._

"You'll have to wait." he told her as he rolled onto his side and tried to drift back off to sleep.

"I _can't _wait any longer." she told him, "Please?" she added rolling her eyes at herself but she hoped pleading with him would work. She'd let him feel in control for a moment if it meant she could relieve the growing discomfort coming from her bladder.

Lewis growled, clearly annoyed that she wasn't letting him sleep. He climbed up out of the bed and left Olivia wondering if he was going to let her go to the bathroom or not as he walked out of the bedroom.

She was slightly worried when he returned a moment later with a sharp knife. However, he only used it to cut through the duck-tape around her wrists. Olivia was somewhat hesitant to get up once her wrists were free. She knew she couldn't trust Lewis, _for all she knew this could all be some sort of trick._

"Well get up then!" Lewis spat at her upon seeing her hesitation.

She did as he told her, wincing at the pain it caused between her legs to move. For a moment the pain was too much and she sat on the edge of the bed waiting for it to pass.

"Get up!" Lewis barked at her.

Olivia wanted to tell him to _fuck off_ but she didn't she just used the bed to push herself up despite how weak and sore her arms felt from once more being held up above her head for so long. The moment she was on her feet her legs began to wobble and she wasn't sure she could actually make it to the bathroom on her feet without falling to the floor on her hands and knees. She knew Lewis would prefer to watch her crawl there but she wasn't sure her body could do that either.

Taking a small step she began to move forward, managing to hold in her whimpers of pain. She had just stepped past Lewis when he grabbed hold of her sides and pulled her against his body. "March!" he told her before he began pushing her forward, quicker than her body was willing to move right now but his grip on her sides was what kept her upright.

"Left, right, left, right!" he told her in a deep army captain style voice.

He pulled her to a stop when they stepped into the bathroom. He pulled her tight against him again and one hand came up to grab her throat and turn her to face him slightly. His other arm moved to wrap around her front. "You got five minutes." he told her. "Don't try any funny business."

Olivia stepped away from him and he stepped backwards out of the bathroom. She turned and began to shut the door but suddenly Lewis pushed it open almost hitting her in the face with it. "Don't lock it!" he warned her.

Olivia once more just glared at him and then pushed the door to. She saw the lock and knew she couldn't have locked the door anyway as he'd clearly bust it when he had barged the door open when she had tried to make a run for it after he had first grabbed her when had returned home to find him in her apartment.

She walked over to the toilet and relieved her bladder. She tired not to think about why it hurt her so much but when she stood up to flush the toilet she could see that the porcelain bowl was stained with her blood. She had no control over the sob that burst out of her and she couldn't even attempt to hold her tears back.

She felt so angry, felt so humiliated, so weak and pathetic and so much pain. That was what she felt most, pain that was everywhere. She looked down at her body, at the wounds on it and the half a dozen more bite marks Lewis had caused during his assault. She could see bruises all over her and she could see the blood that was dripping down the inside of her legs. She felt disgusting, she could smell Lewis on her, could smell what his body had spilled into her and onto her.

She pushed the shower curtain aside and reached over and turned the shower on. She had to wash Lewis off her…but then it hit her…_she couldn't_. She couldn't destroy evidence, not even when she was the evidence. No matter how this ended she wanted Lewis to pay for what he had done to her and with the amount of evidence on her now she knew he would.

She was about to reach in and turn the water on when she felt her hair being tugged on. She yelped in pain as Lewis continued to pull her hair and head back. "I never said you could shower!" he said to her.

"I wasn't…" she began to tell him.

"You lying little whore!" he scoffed before he ripped her right away from the tub, his hand still tangled in her hair.

She was suddenly too overcome by anger and frustration to stop herself from reaching up and pulling his hair, she also reached up and scratched his face. _Get his skin under your fingernails_, she told herself, _more evidence._ He tried to grab hold of her wrists but she moved quickly to slap him hard across the face, her other hand came up just seconds after to deliver a hard punch.

Part of her, the part of her that had already been broken down by Lewis, screamed _'stop, he's gonna kill you for this. You know you can't stop him!_' but the stronger part of her, told her to _'fight until your last breath'_ It was that part of her that encouraged her to punch him again and to her delight she hit in the face again with another hard punch.

She knew if she could throw some more punches, punches hard enough to do real damage, that she might actually stand a chance of getting out of this nightmare alive. She threw another punch and it hit him, but only just. She quickly tried to throw another but he used his arm to block it and did the same as she threw her other arm towards his face, her fist clenched and ready for an impact.

He suddenly reached out and tangled both hands into her hair, gripping both sides of her head. He threw her hard to the side and Olivia was suddenly deafened by the sound of breaking glass as he smashed her head into the mirror fronted bathroom cabinet.

She had to reach out and grab hold of Lewis's arms to stop herself from collapsing to her floor. Lucky for her he was happy to hold her upright. With his grip holding her up she moved one hand to her head which was spinning. She could feel the warmth of her blood as she placed her fingers in her hair, she knew there was a cut somewhere there but she couldn't pin point where because her whole head hurt.

"I thought you told me you wanted to live, Olivia!" he asked her with a slight laugh, nudging her back slightly so that her bare feet rubbed against the shards of glass she was now standing on. She felt a sting as the glass cut her. Paper slice like cuts but they hurt none the less.

She moved her eyes to look right into his, "Please…" she said….

"Please…please what?!" he asked her before he saw the pleading look in her eyes. It begged _'don't hurt me, please don't kill me.' _"You want sympathy from me." he said knowingly. "Perhaps you should have shared me that courtesy that day in the interrogation room, remember, instead all you did was threated me."

Olivia sighed as she remembered the conversation they'd had. Had she known it could have saved her some she was sure she would go back and have a different attitude towards him…but then she _really_ thought about it and she knew she wouldn't have ever changed the way she had treated him during interrogation because he was a monster. He hadn't showed his victims any sympathy.

"Are you regretting having ever met me yet?" he asked her with his usual smirk.

Olivia looked at him for a moment and thought about what he had just asked her, then she replied, "My only regret is not putting a bullet in your head upon _having_ first met you." she spat at him.

Lewis just laughed at her and then suddenly let go of the hold he had on her and walked away from her, leaving her standing there more than confused. It felt like minutes had passed when she carefully stepped off the shards of glass. She then went to take a step forward, ready to make a run for the front door when he suddenly appeared before her, the gun pointing at her.

Her breath flew out of her. She was sure this was it, he was going to shoot her, end it all right now. He'd taken what he'd wanted from her, so he could kill her now if he really wanted to. It's why she was completely shocked when he let the gun spin on his finger as he lowered his arm. He then reached out and snatched hold of her wrist and thrust the gun into her hand.

He took a slight step back and held his arms out to the side. "Do it, Olivia. Point the gun at me and shoot me." he told her.

Olivia was too shocked and confused by what was happening to really register what it was he was telling her to do.

"Do it!" he yelled. "You just told me you wanted to. Think about everything I've done to you. How I forced myself into your body and there was nothing you could do about it. How you know I'll do it again and again if you don't stop me now."

Slowly Olivia felt her grip tighten on the gun, with tears in her eyes she raised her arm and pointed the gun right at his head. Her hand was shaking so bad that she feared the gun would fall right out of her hand.

"Do it!" he said to her in a quick whispered voice. "Come on, Olivia!" he said in the same voice. "Do it!" he suddenly yelled, moving forward so his forehead now touched the barrel of the gun.

Olivia looked right into his eyes as he glared at her, a smirk on his face,_ and then she pulled the trigger…._

**TBC**

**Thank you so so much for reading, please review and let me hear your thoughts. Reviews equal update!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Thanks to ****everyone reading and reviewing and all those following. I really appreciate hearing what you think of this story so again thanks to those of you reviewing. I'm glad so many of you looked up the song, told you it's creepy. I'd appreciate hearing what you think should become of Lewis when this story comes to an end. I have two possible endings already wrote up but can't decide which one I'll use yet, so I would like to hear what you'd like to see.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 5**

_**My name is death and the end is here... **_

Olivia watched as Lewis's body dropped to the floor in front of her, a perfectly neat bullet hole in the middle of his forehead looking up at her like some sort of third eye. His actual eyes were also staring up at her, cold and full of pure evil. For a moment she couldn't move out of fear it was all a joke and that he would jump up and attack her. But, finally, shaking like a leaf, she stepped over his lifeless body and made her way into the kitchen where her cell phone lay on the kitchen counter still. With tears falling down her cheeks and her hands trembling wildly she picked it up and called for help..._it was all finally over…_

_At least that's what she had hoped would have happened_ but she realized seconds after pulling the trigger that _nothing_ had happened. A desperate sob burst from her throat as she squeezed the trigger again and again and again but still nothing. "No!" she cried out in utter defeat.

Lewis burst out laughing, "Shock!" he said sarcastically, "You really think I'd let you shoot me?" he mocked as he snatched the gun out of her hand and pointed it at her head and pulled the trigger making his own gunshot sound. He then continued laughing and tucked it into the back of his trousers. "Dumb slut!" he chuckled.

Olivia felt humiliated and so frustrated. She had seriously let herself believe that that was her moment to gain freedom, and she had wanted to grab it greedily with both hands, but it was just another cruel reminder from Lewis that he was the one in control. She didn't even struggle when he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her out of the bathroom. It was only as he dragged her into the bedroom that she tried to resist but Lewis was quick to push her forward before pushing her down onto the bed, his body once more straddling hers. Before she could stop him he was already getting ready to fix the cable around her wrists, once more securing her to the headboard.

Olivia never took her eyes off his face as he tied the cord tight around her left wrist. She had so many things she suddenly wanted to scream at him, tell him just how she felt about him but she simply just didn't know where to start.

Lewis noticed her looking at him and the way her eyes held dozens of emotions all at once. He said, "What? You look like you've got something on your mind?"

"You're sick!" she told him without hesitation_, it was as good as any place to start_.

"Why because I hurt you?" he began, "Because I raped you?" he said as he quickly grabbed her between her legs before pulling his hand away, "Or is it because I held a gun at you and you knew I'd use it? Are you telling me you've never got heavy handed with a perp who pissed you off? You really expect me to believe you've never shot someone dead doing the work you do?"

"You're a sociopath, you do it for pleasure, I'm a cop, there's a difference."

"Baby, you say potato and I potato. Either way we've both got dead people's blood on our hands."

"You're a disgusting pathetic rapist! You murder for kicks so don't dare compare me to you!" Olivia growled angrily at him.

"Says the woman who just held a gun at my head and pulled the trigger because I told her to." he replied, "Lucky for me it was empty." he added as he climbed off her.

"Yeah, you get all the good luck don't you..." she spat at him.

It was only when he was off her and was moving away from the bed that she realized he wasn't tying her right hand up with the cables. She wasn't sure what he was doing it for but she didn't mind. _Advantage_ she told herself. She tried to not highlight the fact, wondering if maybe he just hadn't realized he hadn't tied it. She looked up at Lewis and had to sigh as her heart sunk as he turned to face her with a cigarette in his mouth and smiled and nodded, "I do get all the luck." he replied, "You on the other hand, not so lucky."

He then lit up a cigarette, and took a long drag from it before he walked over to her. _She knew what was coming and she braced herself for the pain._

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Cragen and Munch were still waiting for news. It had been hours and they hadn't even had an update of any sort. Cragen looked up from the spot on the floor he'd been studying when he heard Munch get up and mutter something as he walked over to the far wall, reached up and took a clock off the wall and ripped the battery out of it. _

_Cragen hadn't noticed how loudly it had been ticking but it had slowly been driving Munch more and more insane. Munch dropped both the clock and the battery into the waste bin and slowly made his way across the room. _

_"This is ridiculous!" he suddenly barked, "It's been hours and we haven't heard so much as a word."_

_"I'd rather they focus on getting her fixed up than offering us hourly updates." Cragen said._

_"I just wanna know they're managing to fix her up." Munch replied quietly before he turned to look out the window again, at the heavy rain that now fell and hammered nosily against the window. _

_Suddenly they heard the handle turn and they both turned to face the door as the Doctor that Cragen had spoken to when first arriving at the hospital walked in. _

_"Finally!" Munch spat, more out of a nervous fear of what the Doctor had to say._

_"How's she's doing?" Cragen asked as he stood up._

_"I'm not gonna pretend that I didn't think we were gonna lose her in there a few times, but she's tough. She's also incredibly lucky..." The Doctor told them._

_"If she's truly that lucky then she wouldn't have to be here in the first place." Munch spat._

_"We didn't recover a bullet,__"__ the Doctor said both ignoring and understanding Munch's bitterness. __"__Which means it's at your crime scene somewhere still."_

_"The bullet was a through and through and she's still alive?" Cragen asked, sure his ears were deceiving him. _

_"If you ask me your perp got distracted as he made the shot and the bullet was fired just to the left side of her head instead of the centre. The bullet penetrated her scalp but never entered the skull. It did graze along it with enough impact to cause what we call a depressed fracture. This is where the bone has been crushed inwards. This is what we're fixing now. We're using a sort of mesh wire to put the pieces back to where they should be and hold them in place so they can fuse again."_

_"How long will it take her to recover?" Cragen asked. _

_"It will take her skull a few months before it's fully healed but it should only cause her pain for anything up to ten days and we can monitor that for her. Again, luckily for her it wasn't as bad a fracture as it should have been so I think she's gonna heal really quickly."_

_"And is there likely to be long lasting brain damage?" Cragen asked, terrified of what the answer might be._

_"The left portion of the brain controls functions such as speech. If she pulls though this, she may never talk again, however__,__ she may not have any problems with her speech at all, or if she does speech therapy could easily cure it. At this point we just don't know. I can tell you that my colleague who is taking care of her now is one of the best __neurosurgeons you could wish for in a situation like this."_

_"Can we see her as soon as she comes out?" Munch asked._

_"Of course. It could take a while before she comes round. The human body is great at taking time out when it needs to and with the other injuries she's suffered there is no doubt her body will need time to heal. I've also arranged for a nurse to perform a full rape exam when she comes out of surgery."_

_Cragen and Munch just nodded in response to this. They knew it had to happen but it broke both their hearts knowing that it was going to happen though. Both men thought __if only__, if only we had stopped this._

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Vanessa Mayer was sat holding a cup of water as she sat at the table in interrogation room one at the 16__th__ precinct. Cassidy was stood outside watching her through the one way window. He wanted to storm right in there, yell at her more, or beg her to tell him where Lewis could be, possibly slap her for having being so stupid and blinded by Lewis. _

_He jumped out of his skin as his cell phone began to ring, breaking the silence all around him. He quickly snatched it out of his trouser pocket and upon seeing Cragen on caller ID his heart began to pound. He placed the cell phone against his forehead as it continued to ring waiting to build up the courage to answer it. He knew he should have prepared himself for this call because he dreaded it. _

_He brought the phone against his ear and answered, "Please, please, don't tell me she's dead." he begged as tears burned his eyes as they remained closed. _

"_She__'__s alive." Cragen replied._

_Cassidy released a shaky breath that he didn't know he had been holding since this had all begun. "Is she awake?" he asked, his voice full of emotion._

"_Not yet. They've just brought he__r out of surgery and she's gotta have a rape exam done before we can see her__." Cragen explained._

_Cassidy took a deep breath and tried to compose himself before he broke apart. He wanted to be strong for Olivia now. He knew she would need him to be. "I'm coming down. Rollins and the others can take the lawyer."_

"_See you soon, Brian." Cragen said before they both hung up._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia had quickly been told that there was a reason her right hand wasn't tied up and the reason had made her want to chew her own hand off as an alternative. She had watched him grab hold of her wrist and straddle her, his whole weight on her stomach, which quickly left her feeling sick.

She had watched with fear making her heart pound as he had unzipped his trousers and removed himself before placing her hand upon himself. Olivia groaned in disgust, wondering if she were to live after he was done with her would she ever make her hand feel clean again.

"If you try anything," he told her as he made her hand stroke his hardening member, "I swear you'll regret it."

Olivia didn't doubt his words but the urge to hurt him like he had hurt her was too strong. She figured he was going to kill her after he was done with her anyway, and she knew in her last breaths she'd hate herself for having not done more to fight back, to not let him break her. She also began to wonder if she kept defying him would he keep her alive longer if only to try and truly break her. It was possibly a mad thought but it told her to keep defying him. _Keep fighting!_

So when he took his hand off hers for a moment she continued to stroke him, making him harder and harder, causing him to release satisfied moans and groans. The moment he closed his eyes and let his head fall back as pure bliss threatened to take over his body she tightened her grip, digging her nails into him as hard as she could.

He screamed out in agony as she refused to release her grip. She only did so when he pressed the burning cigarette in his hand into the back of her hand and even then she tried not to for as long as she could before the pain was too much.

"Bitch!" Lewis yelled before throwing his fist into her ribs. The crunch that followed was sickening but not as sickening as the snap her three middle fingers made as he grabbed them twisted and then bent them right back.

It was Olivia's turn to scream in agony. The pain was sickening and seemed to grow worse and worse. "Fucking bitch!" Lewis yelled again, delivering another blow to her ribs that left her struggling for breath.

Lewis pushed himself off her and stormed out of the bedroom, cursing her as he did. Olivia didn't care as much as she should have. Despite the pain she was in a little voice inside her screamed _'well done'_ and she let herself smile in response, only for a second as she then studied her fingers. She just knew they were broken and would now offer little assistance in trying to pick the knots on the cable.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Rollins, Amaro and Fin were all stood in the interview room with Vanessa. The young lawyer looked up and glanced at them all in turn, their angry scowls were practically stabbing into her… if looks could kill she thought to herself, _

"_I know you all hate me, but you can't hate me more than I hate myself right now." she said._

"_I wouldn't bet on it." Fin spat at her through__ gritted teeth. _

"_I just saw my sister's dead body!" she shrieked at him._

"_And I hadd'a find my friend tied to her bed with her blood everywhere and a bullet hole in her head!" The bullet-hole part Fin knew was dramatic but it seemed to have an effect._

"_Will __Detective Benson be okay?" she asked sheepishly._

"_No thanks to you." Rollins__ muttered__._

"_I'm not hiding Lewis.__"__ She said as clearly as possible, __"__I genuinely thought he was a good guy!" she argued._

"_Then you're more stupid than you look." Fin snapped._

"_He was kind to me, he told me what happened and he ever came across as the monster Detective Benson said he was…"_

"_You fell for his char__m and his bull shit is all!" Amaro yelled as he leant down on the table, getting his face as much in Vanessa's as he could. "He fucked you and then he really fucked you!" he yelled. _

_It was Rollins who placed a hand on his shoulder and led him back away from Vanessa. "Nick…come on." she said, trying to calm him down._

"_You'__re right, he screwed me over big time and my….my sister paid the price. It should have been me."_

"_It should have been you instead of Olivia." Amaro snapped._

"_Couldn't have said it better myself." Fin said._

"_Vanessa, you can't make this right, you have to l__ive with what you did. You can help us get Lewis though." Rollins said, trying to get Vanessa on their side._

"_How? I told you I don't know where he is?" _

"_You can call him__.__ Tell him you just finished work, that you wanna meet him. Tell him whatever the hell you think he would want to hear from you but get him somewhere we can arrest him." Rollins told her._

"_He's smart, he'll know something's__ up!" Vanessa tried to tell them. _

"_Then make sure you do what you lawyers are good at and lie!" Fin said._

"_And what happens if he doesn't show, or if he does show but he knows I set him up…?"_

"_We can offer you protection." Fin told her. _

_Vanessa looked at them and all three of them knew she wasn't up for what they were asking. They were sure she was their last chance at finding Lewis._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Still not about to give up on herself yet Olivia was trying to work the cables loose again. It should have been easy seeing as her one hand was free moving but her broken fingers made it damn near impossible. Her whole hand was aching so badly that it was making her whole hand shake uncontrollably. This then added more pain so it truly was a vicious circle. She was using her thumb and little finger to pick at the cables whilst trying to keep her three middle fingers straight but every now and then she would accidently bend them slightly and she had to really bite down so as not to cry out in agony.

With tears burning in her eyes and sobs waiting to just burst free from her throat, she continued with her efforts despite how in vain they were. However, she suddenly froze, sure her heart had fallen out of her butt, as she heard a pan clang. She closed her eyes and begged it wasn't what she suspected it was, but just a quick moment later she opened her eyes and found her worst thoughts confirmed when she saw Lewis standing in the doorway holding the same frying pan from earlier.

"Let's attempt this again shall we?" he said to her.

Olivia knew he was doing this now to punish her for having hurt him, "William, no! Please, I'm sorry! I panicked." she tried, praying she could somehow talk him out of it. "Please, I'm so sorry."

"Tough shit!" he barked at her angrily, "This_ IS_ happening this time, Olivia! Bet you wish you'd just done like I told you now, ha?"

"I'll do it." she told him, hating herself for saying so.

"It's too late." he told her in a tone that said _end of discussion_.

With no other option Olivia screamed, "Help!" as loud as she could, her voice breaking with fear, "HELP!" Please help me!" she screamed. She couldn't believe someone hadn't heard her screams. She was sure they would the moment Lewis put the first heated object against her flesh.

Lewis seemed to appear out of nowhere by her side. He delivered a hard slap to her face which had her seeing white light for a moment, and left her ears ringing. "As much as I love hearing you scream I don't want anyone to hear you and come disturbing us!" Lewis growled as he ripped off some more duck-tape and fixed it down over her mouth.

Olivia could only cry in frustration. She knew her screams certainly wouldn't be heard from behind the tape. She looked up at the cable above her head and pulled hard on it hoping she may have loosened the knots enough to pull free but she was more than wrong. She began to sob as she felt the bed shift beside her as Lewis knelt onto it.

He had in his hand a pair of kitchen tongues and held in them was the eagle shaped medal Olivia had seen earlier, "Don't!" she tried to tell Lewis from behind the tape as he began searching her body for a place to burn her.

"Shh…" Lewis soothed, almost sweetly to her. "It's okay I know what I'm doing." he told her calmly.

She screamed behind the tape as he moved the medal dangerously close to between her legs. She quickly reached out and grabbed his arm and tried to push him away from her but he was so damn strong she could barely move him an inch and her broken fingers made it impossible to put more much needed strength behind her own attempt. She began trying to scream for help despite knowing it would do little good, she was desperate. "Don't!" she yelled as loud and as clearly as she could.

"You're right," he said moving it away from her, "Some things are too perfect to ruin." he said as he peeled her hand off his arm and with a tight hold of her wrist pinned it down against the bed beside her head. He looked her right in the eyes and smirked as he lowered the medal towards her flesh.

A blood curdling scream burst from deep within Olivia as Lewis suddenly pressed the red-hot medal into her stomach. The pain was sickening and the smell of her flesh burning disgusting. "Stop!" she tried to scream but the sound remained stuck behind the tape as Lewis continued to hold the medal down, pushing it harder and deeper into her damaged flesh.

All she could do was scream in pain. Even when he eventually pulled his arm back and peeled the medal from her burned flesh the pain remained. "What a rush!" he cheered as he threw the medal onto the floor. "What next?!" he said to her as he climbed off her and walked over to the pan on the cupboard.

When he turned to face her again it was the end of the fish slice that he had ready. Olivia pushed herself up and once more found herself standing beside the bed as she tried with all the strength in her body to break the part of the bed frame that the cable was attached to.

She cried out in shock and fear as Lewis came up behind her and grabbed her left shoulder and twisted her right round and then slammed her face first against the wall. It was with such force and with her arm twisted round and across her back at such an angle that, with a popping sound that burst loudly into Olivia's head, her shoulder dislocated itself. At the same time Lewis pressed the fiery hot end of the fish slice into her back. The pain from both injuries was excruciating enough but before it had truly registered she was hit with more pain as Lewis once more brutally forced himself into her between her legs.

She could do nothing but cry behind the tape as each painful thrust slammed her against the wall. She didn't want to admit it but Lewis _was_ breaking her and she knew it wouldn't take much more before he completely succeeded…_she prayed help would come before that point._

**TBC**

**Sorry to end it on such a dark note, but you may be happy to know that her time with Lewis is coming to an end soon. **

**Thanks so much for reading. Not too long to go till the premiere now wish we had some more teaser pics and promo's. **


	7. Chapter 6

**Thanks to all those who read and reviewed and to all who are following. You guys and gals are my inspiration.**

**So has anyone seen the promo cast pictures? Is it just me or perhaps the picture but does it look like there is a scar on Mariska's arm**** in them****, between her sleeve and her watch**** and you can see it in the picture of her and other squad members when they're sat down, she's wearing a dress in that one****? ****It's q****uite a big one**** but it caught my eye, especially after seeing it twice****. Poor Olivia.**

**Pretty long chapter here!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 6**

_Cassidy took a deep breath as he walked the final few feet to Munch who stood outside what he guessed was Olivia's hospital room. He felt sick to his stomach and nervous as hell about seeing her. Truth was he had no idea how he __w__ould cope with seeing her beaten black and blue and so much more. He was sure it would break his heart__ and make him want to go and physically tear Lewis apart__._

"_You got here quick." Munch said to him._

"_Really__? It__ felt like I was driving in slow motion." __Cassidy __replied as he ran his hand through his hair and released a long, loud, shaky breath. "How is she?" He __asked. _

_He __waited and waited for an answer that just didn't seem to follo__w__, "That bad __, huh__?"_

_Munch just nodded. "Lewis made sure he put her through hell."_

"_That son-of-a-bitch__!__"__ Cassidy scoffed angrily._

"_The Doctor said that the burns and the cuts will heal. Some of the burns are a lot deeper. They're gonna scar. He recommended plastic surgery in the future if it's something she wants.__They performed __surgery on her shoulder __while she was under, __to repair the tendons that were torn when the prick dislocated it. Doc said it can take twelve to sixteen weeks to heal fully but she should be able to use it in about two weeks. She'll need __physiotherapy__ on it and lots of pain killers and Ibuprofen." _

_Cassidy hesitated __and took a deep breath __before he asked, "What about the rape kit?"_

_It was Munch who now took a turn to hesitate__ and a deep breath__ before he replied, "There was a lot of trauma. Nurse collected samples, lots. __She was with him for a long time and the son-of-a-bitch didn't waste his time getting what he wanted."_

_"I wanna kill him, John. I wanna beat him so bad he can't move. Then I wanna burn him and cut him and make him wish he'd never been born."_

_"We all do."_

_"Damn-it, John, I should have protected her from all of this. Instead we had a row and I fucked off out of town and left her alone to be tortured and humiliated and degraded and used over and over by that prick. I wouldn't blame her for hating me when she wakes up but it will kill me if I lose her."_

_"She's not going to hate you because she's need you. You did nothing wrong and Olivia knows that. She's not going to blame you. But she might kick your ass if you don't go in that room and hold her hand and tell her how much you love her."_

_Cassidy just smiled in thanks to his ex partner and both men exchanged a quick hug before Cassidy turned to face the solid wooden door to Olivia's room. __Slowly he pushed open the heavy door.__, telling himself he could do this, he could keep it together for Olivia. __He felt a sob threaten to shake free from his throat when he looked over at the bed in the middle of the small room. In it lay Olivia, perfectly still except for the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed_

_Cragen stood up from the chair by Olivia's bed and walked over to the door, stopping when he reached Cassidy so he could place a supportive hand on his shoulder, "Talk to her, she'll like hearing voice__. She'll like__ knowing you're here." he said._

_Cassidy just nodded and Cragen walked out leaving him alone in the room that was eerily silent. He slowly walked over to her bedside, looking at all the machines by her bed and wishing he understood what the different reading__s__ on them meant. He recognized the drip and understood what that was for. He wondered if Lewis had allowed her any food or water while he'd held her. He wondered how much worse her ordeal had been with an empty tummy and a throat.__ So parched it threatened to choke her_

_He couldn't help but think some of the thoughts running round his head were stupi__d as he wondered if Olivia had even once thought about being hungry or thirsty whilst she was being burnt, beaten or...or raped. Th__e truth was he didn't know what he was supposed to feel about all this. All he could __really __feel was anger towards Lewis and himself for having not saved Olivia, he felt so guilty__ it threatened to eat him alive.__ He also felt so sorry for __Olivia__, __as he __knew being raped was her worst fear and he hated she'd had to go through that so brutally._

_It was then he noticed her hair which hung loosely either __sid__e of her face. The top of her head was bandaged, concealing her hair the__re __but midway down he could see it had been cut. Some strands were so short they barely reached her shoulder__. It looked like she'd had a fight with a pair of scissors and lost.__ He had to swallow back a sob. All the things Lewis could have done to her flashed before him. All the horrid degrading things. _

"_Oh J__esus, Liv, I'm so sorry." __h__e said before he reached down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, no longer able to hold his tears back which dripped onto the forehead. "I'm so sorry I acted like a jerk and left town when you needed me most. I wish I could go back in time and prevent you from going through any of this." __h__e told her before his eyes began to scan her body. _

_Although her torso was covered over with a blanket her arms lay on top of it__,__one in a sling but on the other __he could see small burn marks. He knew they were cigarette burns. __ There were lots of other little cuts and he guessed more hiding beneath small plaster. __There were bandages covering her wrists and he wondered why, but he presumed whatever she had been tied up with had caused the injuries he couldn't see. _

_He could see a small bandage on her throat and he hated to think Lewis could have easily hurt her there bad enough to end her life. __He looked __up from there and __at her face and even with all the bruising and gashes he thought she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. He had never loved someone the way he loved her. _

_He stood upright and took a deep breath before he sat down in the chair Cragen had previously been occupying. "How's about when you get out of here we go see that show you were on about the other week__? __Or we could go the theatre, you keep saying you'__r__e always want__ing__ to go. Liv, I'll take you anywhere you wanna go. I'll visit a butterfly house __or a porcelain doll factory __if you want me to__. __I'll go shoe shopping with you because I know you say you hate all that really girly crap but I see the look on your face when you walk past a store __that has__ a nice pair of shoes__ in the window__. I'll even try shoes on with you__ and you can laugh at me as I fall flat on my face or my ass as I try to walk around in heels__….__I'll do __anything to hear you laugh."_

_He was looking at her, waiting for her to agree to all of this or playfully tell him to shut-up and tell him something else she wanted to do that she already had but that he hadn't heard because he hadn't been paying __enough __attention__ to her and what she wanted which was just to spend time with him__. Truth was he'd gotten too comfortable with her, he'd started taking her for granted and he despised himself for having done so and as he gently took hold of her hand he promised he wouldn't do it ever again. He would let her know each day just how he truly felt about her. _

_Suddenly Munch stepped into the doorway. He glanced over at his ex-partner and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt but I just thought you should know that they're about to send Vanessa in__ to meet up with Lewis__. Hopefully we'll have this creep in custody soon, if you wanna speak to him now's your chance."_

"_Thanks." Cassidy replied. Munch left him alone again and he turned his attention back to Olivia. He was wishing so hard she would wake up, look at him with her beautiful chocolate brown eyes that he adored__, __that he could happily get lost looking into._

_With a new found determination he stood up from the chair and leant over Olivia and placed __ another soft kiss on her forehead. _

"_I'm gonna go talk to this creep. When I come back I need you to wake up for me. I need to look into those beautiful eyes and I need you to see that I am here for you." He placed another soft kiss on her forehead, "I love you, Olivia." he confessed to her, wishing she was awake to hear his words. "I'll be back before you're awake." he told her._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was now sat up on her bed, her legs tucked up as tight as she could get them, without causing herself further pain, against her body. She had her head resting on the bed head she leant against as she struggled to cope with the pain riddling her body. It had caused her a great deal more of pain to move into a sitting position but in doing so she had been able to pull the blood and semen stained sheet on her bed up over herself in an attempt to cover her naked and beaten body.

She was in a world of pain. Pain that came from the burns all over her body, in particular the deep burns on her stomach and lower back, and her dislocated shoulder, the pain from that was barely bearable. She had to wince and struggled to hold in a whimper as more pain suddenly shot right through her body starting from between her legs. Lewis had raped her for well over an hour again, only stopping so he could refuel himself with a few snorts of meth and a few cigarettes, all of which he had put out on her body.

She glanced over at the door as The Beast himself suddenly walked in. Her tired eyes followed him as he walked over to the dresser and snorted another neat pile of meth. She just sighed and tried not to think about what the dangerous mind altering drug would make him want to do to her next. She knew the drugs were playing a big part in his behaviour, _the fact that he was a fucking psycho playing the biggest part__ however__._

Lewis turned around and saw her watching him. "What you want some?" he asked her.

Olivia just shook her head, "No thanks." she muttered.

"Good, because you weren't gonna get any. This stuff is far too good to waste on trash like you." he told her as he began pacing around her room.

She could see he was becoming more and more agitated by the moment. She watched in confusion as he stormed out. She could only dread to think what he was doing as she heard cupboard doors slamming and the fridge door being kicked shut, Lewis's angry growls and shouts following the sounds.

A moment later he stormed back into the bedroom and right over to her. She was sure he was going to hit her and she tried to brace herself for a blow but instead he just ripped the sheet off her, leaving her body exposed again. "Don't you have anything to eat in this shit hole of an apartment? I'm starving and you don't have so much as a fucking cracker!" he yelled angrily before storming away from her.

"If I'd know you were breaking in here I would have made sure I stocked the fridge first, with rat poison or cyanide maybe!" she spat back at him.

Lewis just faced her and laughed before he grabbed hold of the back of the dresser and flung it across the room, sending the contents on top of it flying to the floor. He stood there for a second just admiring the mess he'd made before something caught his attention.

"What's this?!" Lewis said curiously as he bent down and picked up a framed picture. "Is this Bri?" he asked he asked her in a mocking tone, pointing to the man in the picture beside her. "Is this your boyfriend?" he asked as he walked over to her holding the picture out for her to see.

"No!" she growled at him through gritted teeth.

It wasn't a picture of Brian at all. It was a very old picture of her and Elliot, hugging in the squad room not long after she had ended her first year in the SVU. She hated that Elliot seemed to be looking right out of the picture at her, she hated the thought of him seeing her so beaten down and broken. But she truly did miss his cerulean blue eyes. _She missed her best friend._

"Just look at the way he has his arms wrapped around you." Lewis said, "Bet he loved fucking you didn't he? Bet you loved it too you filthy whore!"

"We didn't…" she began angrily before she took as deep a breath as she could with broken ribs and said, "He was my old partner."

"He die?" Lewis asked with a hoping smirk.

"No, he just moved on." she told him, the hurt of the fact still staining her voice, "But in fact he calls round here quite often. He'd love kicking your ass right about now. I don't think he'd stop there either. Actually, I know he wouldn't, he'd put a bullet in your head, right after he'd put one in your crotch first."

"Ouch! Not feeling the love from you there, Olivia." Lewis said pretending to be hurt by her words. "And here I was thinking that you and I were making a good connection." he said as he ran his finger up the inside of her upper thigh.

Olivia could only cast him a look that said _don't touch me!_

"Well if he didn't get to fuck you I bet he thought about it just as much as that new partner of yours does. I see it in his eyes when he looks at you, in how protective he is of you." Lewis paused before he then looked up at her again, "Do you and your new partner fuck?" he questioned.

Olivia just rolled her eyes in disgust and turned away ignoring him and thinking about anything else, but that wasn't really a good idea as all she could think about was the pain she was in. _God her shoulder hurt_, it was enough to make her stomach turn. Her stomach also growled, loudly. She was so damn hungry, which amazed her, she couldn't understand how her head could be thinking about food at a time like this.

She quickly turned to face Lewis as he sat down on the bed next to her and placed the picture of her and Elliot down on bedside table, so it was facing Olivia. "What would your partner have to say about this?" he asked before he suddenly and roughly grabbed hold of her face in both hands and kissed her hard. It was a long lingering and somewhat painful kiss that had her desperate for air by the time Lewis finally pulled away, laughing.

"What's his name?" Lewis asked her. As she struggled to catch her breath with broken ribs.

Olivia wasn't about to tell him, not in a million years. She didn't put it past him to try look Elliot up and she couldn't stand the thought of him hurting Elliot or his family. Lewis suddenly balled his fist and brought it up, ready to swing it at her face, "I won't ask you again, Olivia!"

"Mike!" she told him quickly, "Michael O'Neill." she lied, no idea where the name had come from it had just been the first one to pop into her aching head.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" he asked before her slammed his fist into her face anyway.

The blow had connected hard with her cheek and she was sure had bust her gum open because her mouth was filling with blood.

"O'Neill, an Irish man. Well, talk about luck of the Irish, Mike." Lewis said to the picture, making Olivia look up at him again. "Because when I'm done ordering food, you get a front row seat of what I'm gonna do to Olivia, here." he announced before he walked out laughing to himself.

Olivia carefully pulled the sheet back over herself and could then only sit there and stare at the picture. She wished Elliot would show up, _wished anyone would show up_, just someone who would help her. The thought of having Lewis force himself into her body again brought tears to her eyes, tear that fell rebelliously down her cheek., and sitting alone she began to sob.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Vanessa Mayer sat at the bar in the darkly lit club. The place wasn't swarming with people but it was busy enough that Rollins, Amaro, Fin and a group of undercover officers could all easily blend in but all could clearly see Vanessa where she sat, a drink in front of her. She wasn't supposed to be drinking it but they all watched as she took a big swig from it. _

"_This isn't a night out, leave the drink alone." Amaro growled at her through the wire she had been fit with__._

_She then brought her wrist up to her face,__ and __disguising the fact that she was talking into a wire said, "I can't do this…"_

"_Don't you dare back out now!" Amaro told her. _

"_We're watching you, Vanessa." Rollins told her in an attempt to calm her, pretending to act like she was on her side even if Amaro clearly wasn't. _

"_That doesn't make me feel any better." The red head said before she moved her __wrist __away from her __mouth__. _

_She almost fell off the chair when she felt a hand placed on the small of her back. She turned and had to force a smile to see Lewis standing by her, his hand on her back__ and a smile on his face she had once found sexy, but now it terrified her__._

"_Great to see you sweetheart." he said to her before he leant in and kissed her hungrily, it was all she could do to try and kiss him back and wonder if he had heard her talking. Her heart was suddenly pounding even harder in her chest.__ She feared maybe he could hear it._

"_I can't believe the son-uva-btich turned up." Amaro said. _

"_I can't believe he moved __s__traight __in __for a kiss." Rollins said. _

"_This guy doesn't care what he does. He thinks that rules don't apply to him." Amaro said, thinking about how much he truly hated him._

"_Something's not right." Fin said as they watched Vanessa stand up with Lewis, who kept his hand on her back but now hidden under her jacket, as he walked right behind her. _

_They all watched as they began making their way through the crowds, heading to what they thought was the front doors but suddenly they both froze and Lewis who seemed to be scanning the club suddenly turned her__ and pushed her in another direction._

"_They're going out the back!" Fin shouted out to them._

_The three of them began making their way through the crowds, some of the officers attempting to follow too. _

_They met together at the small side door that Vanessa and Lewis had left through. All of them had their guns out ready as they stepped out into the alley at the side of the club, just in time to hear Vanessa scream. _

"_Freeze!" they all yelled, pointing their guns at Lewis who stood over Vanessa who lay on the dirty alley floor. He had a grip of her shirt and in his hand was a gun that was pointed at Vanessa__'s head._

_The moment he saw the others he stood upright and pointed off down the alley. "Some guy__ atta__cked her, he ran off down there. I helped her, lucky I had my gun with me."_

"_Bullshit, Lewis!" Amaro yelled__, __"Toss the gun and then la__y__ face down on the floor."_

"_What about the guy who tried to mug her?" Lewis protested__, "You not gonna go after him?"_

"_Vanessa, you okay?" Rollins called out. _

"_Get him away from me."__ she shrieked._

"_I was helping you." Lewis cried out innocently._

"_Drop the god-damn gun, Lewis!"__ Fin told him._

"_Okay." Lewis said as he threw it to the side._

_It was then that the three of them ran over to him. As Fin and Amaro pushed him onto his knees, Rollins helped up Vanessa who had the makings a very black eye._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Somehow, Olivia had her let her head rest against the bedframe and let a pain and tear filled exhaustion take her into sleep, it's why she almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the buzzer to her apartment go off.

Realising that someone may finally be able to help her she cried out. "HELP!" she screamed as loud as she could. "Help me, please!"

She heard Lewis press the button to allow whoever was outside her building in and then heard him running down the hall. She braced herself as he grabbed the duck-tape off the cupboard and ran right at her, jumping onto the bed and onto her. He immediately began wrapping the tape over her mouth and right round the back of her head, over and over. She knew it was going to be hell to get off.

"Try and pull that off and you'll have one very dead pizza delivery guy in your living room!" he warned her. "You never know, it might be a delivery girl, we could invite her into our party, what do you say?"

Olivia just shook her head, whether it saved her some pain or not she would never let him hurt someone else in her home, in front of her.

"Then keep quiet!" he growled at her, kissing the tape over her mouth.

He pushed away from her and ran back up the hallway. Ignoring his words, she began trying to unravel the tape but it was hard as her broken fingers refused to co-operate. She listened as she heard Lewis answer the door. She wondered if the delivery guy or girl would notice how disheveled Lewis looked, wondered if they would realise something wasn't right. She was more than wrong. "Have a good day, Sir!" she heard the delivery _guy_ call out before the door was slammed shut.

Olivia quickly moved her hand down from the tape, not wanting Lewis to know she'd tried to pull it off. The smell of pizza wafting down the hallway and into her bedroom was amazing. She would happily eat the whole thing. Her mouth was watering by the time Lewis walked in, the pizza box already opened as he tucked into the meat feast pizza.

"I'd offer you some but it's much too good!" he told her seeing the look of hunger in her drained eyes.

She just glared at him, hoping he would choke on the god-damn pizza. He put the pizza box down and disappeared out of the room for a moment. When he returned he was holding a pair of scissors. He was also drinking a bottle of water, something that Olivia always had lots of in her fridge. She'd give anything for some water. She was so thirsty it made her dizzy. She also knew it was dehydration that was making her feel more and more lethargic by the minute. _Alo__ng with every else that she was going through of course._

She had to sit there for the next ten minutes and listen as Lewis nosily consumed the entire pizza, telling her after practically every mouthful just how great it tasted. The whole time she wondered what the scissors were for. She found out when he walked over to her and began cutting the tape that was stuck to her hair. She yelped as he finally ripped the tape off her face, causing her lip to begin bleeding. She was more than horrified to see locks of her hair stuck to the tape.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" she growled quietly but not quiet enough.

"Shut up or I'll cut it all off!" he told her as he took a handful of it and brought it up to his nose so he could smell her shampoo. It knocked her sick as he kissed it. "It's so soft." he told her.

She suddenly didn't care if he cut more of her hair off because she knew she would hate looking at in in the mirror knowing he had touch it, kissed it, found pleasure in it. If she lived she knew she'd be getting it cut. Those thoughts were pushed aside as she watched Lewis begin rummaging through her closet. She didn't know what to think when he pulled out a scarf.

"Time for some more fun." he said to her as he stretched the dark blue scarf out in his hands before wrapping the ends around his hands and walking over to her.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Cassidy had hesitated outside the interrogation room. For now all he could do was stand looking through the one way window at Lewis who sat it the__re, his __handcuffed hands resting on the table. He hated how casual he looked, how calm he seemed. He wondered if he was even thinking about what he had done to Olivia. _

_He had cleared it with the others, he would go in first, for just a minute then one by one they would all join him__ and the real interrogation would begin__. They had a strategy planned in order to try and get him to talk, tell them what they already kn__e__w and fill in the blanks__ that they couldn't__._

_He took a deep breath and then with the others watching he walked into the interrogation room. _

_Lewis immediately looked up, a friendly smile on his face. "__Finally!__ I thought maybe you had all forgotten about me. I feel like I've been sat in here for hours.__ Hey could I get a drink, I'm dying of thirst over here.__"_

_Cassidy just smiled back __at him __and nodded as he bit down on his bottom lip and although already he wanted to punch Lewis in the face over and over and over until his face was nothing more than pulp, he told himself to stay calm._

"_Do I get a lawyer?" he asked._

"_You want one?" Cassidy asked him. _

"_That depends….what are __you __planning on asking me….?" Lewis paused, wanting Cassidy to finish for him by telling him his name. _

"_Officer __Cassidy." he decided to tell him._

_He saw how Lewis's lips twisted up into a quick smirk before the friendly smile returned. "So what is is you wanna ask me, __Officer __Cassidy."_

"_I want you to tell me where you've been these last few days. Starting with the moment your lawyer paid your bail__ and you became a free man?__"_

"_Well I'm not usually one to do and tell but we went right back to her place."_

"_Really?" Cassidy asked. _

"_We spent all night together." Lewis boasted._

"_He's lying!" Rollins said as she and the others watched__, "__Vanessa said they were together an hour or so tops before he told her he had to get back to the halfway house.__"_

"_So what about when you finished there?" Cassidy asked. _

"_Went back to the half-way house. Hung around there for a while then just spent the day hanging round town. Being a full__y__ law abiding citizen__,__ I swear!"_

_Cassidy could feel his blood boiling with each lie Lewis told. "I think you talking bullshit__!__"_

"_One of us needs to get in there!" Rollins said__ knowing this wasn't going well__._

_It was Fin who pushed his way into the interrogation room. Cassidy clearly looked pissed off but Fin just gave him a look that said 'You're losing it."_

_Cassidy knew he was right but he couldn't help it. He walked right up to the table that now separated him and Lewis and leant over it. "Why don't we start again__,__ and you tell me where you really where__?__"_

"_I just did. I'm not gonna lie just because you tell me to." Lewis said, playing a convincing innocent man._

"_Then don't lie! Tell me why you did it__?__ Tell me why her? Why did you go after Olivia?!"_

"_Brian!" Fin yelled at him as he tried to pull him back._

"_I'll kill you for what you did to her!"__ Cassidy roared at Lewis._

"_Brian!" Fin yelled again, trying to snap him out of his rant._

"_I'll gut you for what you did. How about I burn you like you burnt her?!"_

"_Bri, that's enough. Go cool off!" Fin told him. _

_Cassidy knew he had to because he truly was going to __take out a__ gun and shoot Lewis otherwise. He stormed over to the door and had just pulled it open when Lewis called out to him. _

"_Hey, Bri!" Lewis called out, a smirk beginning to grow on his face as he thought about the question, why her, why Olivia, "__W__hy not__ her__?" he said._

_Cassidy turned to face him, he went to run at him as he saw the smug look on his face. _

_Lewis could only watch, still smirking as it took Fin and Amaro to push Cassidy out of the room. Rollins quickly took over from them._

"_Detective Rollins, how great to see you again. How is Frannie doing?"__ he asked in a friendly tone._

_Rollins just glared at him__, not amused or about to fall for his act__. __Looking at him, at The Beast, she __wondered if she had never been in the park that day, had never gone after Lewis, if any of what had happened would have happened__?__ She wondered if right now they would all be working another case__. I__f they were she knew Olivia wouldn't be lying in some hospital bed having been in surgery fighting for her life._

"_Can I have a glass of water?" Lewis asked bringing her out of her thoughts.__ "I really am parched."_

"_Shut-up!" she told him. "You can stop the crap, Lewis. Detective Benson is going to wake up any minute and confirm what we already know. __You could make this a lot easier on yourself and just talk to us. Tell us what happened."_

_"You mean you want me to tell you that I tied her up, burnt her, cut her, hit her and forced my body into hers?"_

_Rollins didn't want to hear the detail but she knew for the sake of the case she would have to but she knew the way he was wording it was all wrong, he wasn't admitting he had done these things yet._

_"Yeah, yeah I wanna hear this if that's what you did. No bullshitting your way out it with words this time. I get a proper confession out of you or I leave you alone and we let Cassidy back in here. It's amazing how sound proof these walls are and we get so busy around here that we might just stop paying attention to you and accidents may happen."_

_Lewis was impressed by her balls. "Is that a threat?" he asked her., a smirk plastered on his face._

_Rollins walked over to him and stepped behind him. She then leant over his shoulder, her mouth right by his ear, "It's a hell of a lot more than a threat!" she spat at him before she walked away from him and towards the door. She needed to get away from him. _

_"Hey, Amanda!" He called out to her, making her turn to face him as she wondered where he had learnt her name from. _

_Lewis smiled seeing that using her name had rattled her. She wasn't quite as tough as she pretended to be and he liked that. Women like her were always fun to break. "Olivia...I mean Detective Benson threatened me too...look what happened to her."_

_Rollins threw him a look of pure disgust and then stormed out slamming the door shut behind her. She stormed right through the squad room, ignoring the concerned calls of her colleagues as she dashed up the stairs towards the cribs. _

_Once in there she ran over to one of the cots and sat down on it. She hid her face behind her hands and began to cry. Her sobs coming out hard and loud and totally uncontrollable_

_. She quickly tried to compose herself as she heard the door open with a loud creek. _

_"I just need a minute!" she called out to whoever had come in. _

_She looked up a moment later with red puffy eyes as Fin stepped beside her. He then sat down on the cot next to her. Without saying a word he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against him. It was a kind gesture that made her turn to face him, bury her face against his chest and continue to let her tears of guilt and anger fall._

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Everything was black_. The only senses Olivia could rely on was her hearing and her smell, but even that was limited as the only thing she could smell was the metallic scent of her own blood and fluids Lewis had left behind on her chest and stomach after he had masturbated whilst straddling her. She had been unable to see it as he had blindfolded her with her scarf but she had felt his warm seed spill onto her and it had made her skin want to crawl right off of her body.

Whilst still straddling her, he'd then used a knife to make small cuts on her body. He'd made it into a game, asking her whether she thought he was going to cut her on the right side of her body or the left. If she got it wrong he cut her…_._if she got it right_…he cut her._ Perhaps the most painful cut had been to her thigh. She could still feel it bleeding, the sheet beneath her thigh was soaking wet with her blood.

"Left side, or right?" he asked her again as he held the knife just above her left breast.

"Please, stop this?"

"Left side, or right?" he asked firmly.

Olivia just let her head flop back against the pillow. She knew the pain was coming despite which she chose. "Left…." she said anyway.

"Well done!" he said sarcastically before he sunk the blade into the soft flesh of her breast anyway. She clamped her lips together and swallowed her cry of pain back, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing it.

"Left or right?" he asked her again.

A sob burst from her throat as she heard the same menacing question. "No!" she cried. "Lewis, please stop! Please, stop this!"

"Left or right!" he growled angrily at her. This time he held the blade flat against her throat so she could feel the cold metal.

"No!" she cried, sure he was going to cut her throat, but something seemed to catch his attention. Then she felt the tip of the knife pressing down on a memorable part of her throat. A part where a small scar already stood. She knew the scar well enough to know he had the tip of the blade pressed right down on the top of the scar.

"Who did that to you?" he asked her.

"None of your fucking business!" she spat furiously. She wasn't about to tell him it was caused by a pedophile and that it had almost lost her her best friend, or that it had created a distraction that had got a child killed.

"Fine then." he said before he used the knife to perfectly cut along her scar, not deep enough to cause a serious wound but enough to release a slow trickle of blood.

"Are you really that fucking dumb that you haven't got how this all works?!" Lewis roared at her. "I ask you a question and you answer me or you suffer. Now, left or fucking right?"

"Get off me!" she screamed as loud as she could.

His reply was to inflict one more long, deep gash into her arm. She couldn't even attempt to hold her cries in. This seemed enough to satisfy him and finally done with his sick game she felt him climb off her. After that everything seemed to fall silent.

For the next twenty minutes or so the only sounds she picked up on was the night traffic outside her apartment. She wondered what time it was. It must have been getting late. _Nine or ten__ maybe__?_ She wondered how long it would take for the team to realise something was wrong when she didn't show up for work again tomorrow.

A creaking floorboard suddenly caught her attention and a shuffle told her that she was no longer alone in her bedroom. "Lewis?" she called out. She got no reply. "What the hell are you doing?" she said as her heart began to pound harder and harder in her chest.

She heard him move closer to her, heard the fabric of his trouser legs brushing against each other, "Lewis…" she had barley finished saying his name when she felt the burning pain in her left thigh. She screamed in sheer agony as Lewis continued to burn her, she just couldn't get away from it.

Lewis stood with a huge grin on his face as he watched the thin metal coat hangers burn into the flesh on her upper left thigh. After he knew they had made what would be a permanent mark he pulled them away and tossed them to the floor and let the smell of burnt flesh excite him. The letters were as clear as day. He reached down and brushed Olivia's hair back off her face. "Now you'll always be mine." he told her before he glanced down at the _W.L_ that marked her thigh. _His initials forever in her flesh._

**TBC **

**Thanks for reading, please, please review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Thanks again to all reading and reviewing and adding alerts. I'm hoping to get at least one more chapter posted before I go on holiday then I will carry on posting when I get back by which time the first two episodes will have aired!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.  
**

**Chapter 7**

Olivia lay there feeling too weak to care about anything. She was just staring out of the window at the sun which had risen in the sky, marking the start of a new day. For her a new day of hell on earth. She hoped her friends would quickly realise she was missing. Because she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep waiting for someone to come and rescue her from this nightmare she'd been forced to endure.

In her heart she was more than desperate to survive but her mind had given up…Lewis had broken that part of her. She just couldn't stand the idea of thinking about what he had done to her and the only way to stop those thoughts had been to force her mind to go blank., numb..._dead._

The reality of the situation was that it didn't matter anymore how strong her will to live was because blood loss, dehydration and she didn't doubt infection were all threatening to take her away from it all soon anyway. Part of her was thankful for this as everything hurt her. A task as little as breathing was excruciatingly painful and moving so much as an inch aggravated some sort of wound that sent even more pain shooting through her entire body like an electric shock.

As she lay there she wondered about Alice, wondered how she had survived it all with her conditions. She totally understood why it had all been too much for her in the end. She suddenly worried if she were to be rescued in time would it all end up being too much for her in the end; would she meet the same sad fate that Alice had despite surviving her ordeal.

She also had to wonder why she didn't feel angry at her friends, at Brian, for having not come to help her. Instead she just worried how they would take her death which was surely inevitable now. She wondered how they would take, _what they would know __upon finding her dead body_, what Lewis had done to her, all that he had put her through. Then she wished he _would_ put her in the ground because she wanted to spare her friends the task of finding her dead and so brutally abused.

She didn't bother turning to look at the door when she heard Lewis walk in. However a minute later she did have to look when he walked over to her closet and began stuffing some of her clothes into a black bin-bag.

"They're not your style." she spat sarcastically, surprised she'd had the energy to even say it and with so much venom in her voice.

"Haha, funny... NOT!" Lewis spat at her coldly as he threw one of her favourite baggy NYPD sweaters into it. She usually wore that and very little else when she was trying to unwind on the couch in front of the TV after a hard day at work.

"We're going to that special place I was telling you about. Except instead of putting you in that hole I was _also _telling you about I wanna keep you around a little longer first. I like having you around." he said with a sadistic smile as he threw the bag to the floor and began collecting some packets of meth together. "Every time I think I'm done with you I think of all sorts of other stuff I could do to you, that I could _make_ you do..." he said as he stared at her and ran his tongue over his lips.

Olivia was disgusted, "I'm not going anywhere with you!" she growled at him through gritted teeth.

"You don't have a choice, bitch!" he told her.

They both froze as the phone suddenly began to ring. She had to wonder if it had rung at all over the last couple of days._ Had no one thought to ring and check up on her or had she been too out of it to notice,_ but she certainly heard it now.

"That's my partner. He always picks me up today. Probably on his way round now. He usually calls when he's a couple of blocks away to make sure I'm ready." she lied.

"I don't believe you." Lewis spat at her, the smirk gone from his face for once.

"Don't," she snapped, "I don't care if you do or you don't but either way he is coming round." she lied, quite well too.

"Then we better get moving quickly hadn't we?" he said as he walked out of her room to finished prepping to leave.

Olivia suddenly had some new found hope and she was trying to think of a plan, trying to think of someway to stall Lewis because she was sure when she didn't turn up for work after forced days off, and didn't answer her phone, that the others would know something was wrong and that they'd be round in a heartbeat.

Just ten minutes later, and still with no plan in mind, she heard the phone ringing again. "Come on guys!" she whispered to herself."

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Lewis was getting pissed off at being held in the interrogation room. He'd asked time and time again for a lawyer and was still waiting for them to show. They had been holding him for too long and he was starting to feel the fact that he hadn't had any meth for hours. He wasn't sure he could cope going much longer and he dreaded the thought that he might have too. It was something that only made him more anxious, more angry. _

_He was relieved for it when the door opened but when he saw Amaro walk in his smile faded some. Despite feeling shit from lack of drugs in his system he couldn't resist the opportunity to wind Amaro up. "Bad cop... So where's good cop? Oh, I know... She's out of action for a while."_

_Amaro had walked right over to Lewis as he'd spoke so as soon as he finished talking he punched him hard in the face, busting his nose open. Bad cop alright!_

_Lewis just burst out laughing despite the blood that pumped from his nose. "I think Olivia hits harder than you!" he mocked as he spat some blood out of his mouth. _

_Amaro used both hands to grab Lewis's shirt and shake him slightly. "Is that why you went after her, because she stood up to you? Because she wasn't afraid of you?" _

_"She was afraid of me alright, because she knew what I was capable of. She certainly knows it now!" Lewis smirked, the blood dribbling down the front of his face only making him look more sinister._

_"I wanna tear your fucking head off and shove it your ass, but for Olivia's sake, so that she can get justice, I'm not gonna." Amaro said before he released his grip on Lewis's shirt and took a big step back. _

_"Come on, Detective, is that all you got? That little bitch had more fight in her than you!"_

_"And I bet you loved punishing her for that, didn't you? Whats the matter, don't like being made to feel like the scum you are by a woman? Well you picked the wrong woman to go after this time."_

_"Why do you care so much about me and her? Is it because you're jealous that I've done stuff with her that you will never get to do and that she liked it? In fact I think she loved it. She's seriously fucked up in the head, you'know? The stuff she asked me to do to her...sick!"_

_"That's crap and you know it! No jury will ever believe that she asked you to put your cigarettes out on her body, or cut her more than a dozen times, or bite her so hard you left a mark with each tooth."_

_"The jury will believe the truth."_

_"The truth is you got into her apartment somehow and your raped her, you beat her and you burnt her. You really think a jury will see a dislocated arm and bullet in the head as foreplay?"_

_"She's been working sex crimes too long. I just did what she wanted me to do. Things got out of hand. It was all an accident and I am devested she got hurt." It was his trials opening fucking speech and what worried Amaro was how well he delivered it._

_"You're sick." Amaro told him._

_"Maybe I am. But if the jury see it that way, I'll spend my days in a hospital, not a prison."_

_Amaro was ready to lose it and punch him again when the door behind him opened. _

_"Looks like you already got started with my client, Detective." Trevor Langan said, clearly unamused. _

_"You're representing this scum-bag?" Amaro asked, never taking his eyes of Lewis and the permanent fucking smirk on his face. _

_"I am and I'd like to know how he got that bust nose?"_

_"I slipped!" Amaro spat. "Can I speak to you in private?" he said and walked out without getting a reply. To his surprise Langan followed._

_"I won't be letting this assault go, Detective Amaro. I don't believe that you slipped for a second."_

_"Do you know what he's done?" Amaro asked him barely giving him chance to finish what he was saying._

_"I do, but unlike you I'm not making this personal, I'm just doing my job." _

_Amaro turned around and grabbed some freshly printed pictures off the cabinet behind him. He held the first one up. It was a crime scene photo of Olivia's bedroom. "That's Detective Benson's bedroom. Your client made this personal when he got into her apartment and assaulted her just for doing her job!"_

_"I'm sorry to hear about what happened to her..."_

_"No you're not, but look, here's a picture of her too." Amaro said before he held up a face shot of Olivia, the damage to her face stupidly obvious even to someone as ignorant as Langan. _

_Amaro saw the way Langan flinched at the picture, even it was only slight. "Not pretty is is it?" he asked, "If you work this case and you get that prick off what's to stop him from coming after someone in your family and doing the same to them? He killed his ex-lawyers sister and she got him off. You wanna see a picture of her dead body? He doesn't care who he hurts just so long as he's hurting someone and Olivia found that out during the two days that that son-uva-bitch held her captive!"_

_"I know what my clients being accused of..." Langan began._

_"Oh there's no accusations here! He did it. He is guilty and I won't see him walk. None of us will." Amaro told him. It was a promise._

**~0~0~0~0~**

The phone was ringing again and Olivia could see how stressed out it was making Lewis. He knew he couldn't pull the cord out of the wall because it would make it too obvious something was wrong. He knew he had to get her out of the apartment soon but there was a group of women stood outside the building. Morning runners who had bumped into each other and had decided to take a break and sit on the grass outside the building and chat.

"Fucking lazy whores!" Lewis yelled angrily. "I should go down there and smash their faces in!"

"I think you should go down there and let them smash your face in!" Olivia spat at him.

"You shut your mouth before I shut it for you, you fucking slut!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and with so much anger Olivia thought he might burst with it.

"What exactly do you plan on telling my partner when he gets here?" Olivia asked.

"Shut-up!" Lewis yelled at her, throwing a heavy glass candle holder at the wall above her head.

She could only close her eyes and turn her face to the side but it didn't stop glass from raining down on her and she felt it snip at her skin.

With fresh wounds she turned to look at him, "Well that will only piss him off more." she replied sarcastically as little trickles off blood seeped from the small cuts left behind by the glass.

"Shut the fuck up, Olivia!" he said as he ripped the gun from the back of his trousers and pointed it at her. The phone began to ring again, "Fuck!" Lewis yelled angrily as he stormed out of her room.

She could hear the commotion as he began trashing her living room. She could hear smashing and his yells becoming more and more angry. _More and more unpredictable._ "Shit..." she muttered to herself, not so confident now he was out of the room.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Cassidy was sat by Olivia's bedside again. Cragen sat on the other side of her bed, constantly watching one of his best Detectives, a woman who had become much more than a Detective to him over the years. Olivia was like family, perhaps a daughter he'd never had. Whatever is was she was to him, it meant that it tortured him to sit looking at her beaten and broken body wondering when she would wake up and knowing the hell she would have to face when she did._

_"Did she tell you about the time a couple of months ago when I decided to try send her some roses that I ordered online?" Cassidy asked as he continued to look at Olivia he hand gently laid in his. _

_"No." Cragen said shaking his head, happy for the break in the silence that had fallen upon the room. _

_"I figured the computer had crashed and kept clicking pay now over and over and over. Eventually a little message popped up to say thanks for you order. We woke up the next morning to 5 delivery guys knocking on the door. I'd ordered 15 dozen roses. So we had to find a home for 180 long stem red roses around the apartment because they refused to take any back as it was my mistake. Of course Olivia found it hilarious and has been taking the piss out of me for it ever since. After a couple of days the smell of roses began to drive her mad, me too for that matter. She's officially said she hates them now, but she kept each one until it died anyway, said it was because I had gotten them her."_

_Cragen smiled, he liked the story. He liked that Olivia had Cassidy in her life. "Bet you didn't find it hilarious when you got the bill?"_

_"Don't even go there." Cassidy said before he began laughing. _

_He suddenly stopped and looked down at his hand as he felt Olivia move hers in his. Cragen stood up from the chair and was looking as he too had saw it. He was hoping to see her move again, give them a sign that she was coming round. "I'm gonna go fetch a Doctor." he said as he ran out, unable to wait any longer._

_"Liv! Olivia, honey, can you hear me? It's Bri!" Cassidy said but he got no reply. "Liv, talk to me, please. Baby, please say something." he begged._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was trying to pull at the cables again, with the one arm that she could, her other dislocated one was useless. She knew her time was running out fast now and she had to get free now or be rescued in her apartment soon because if Lewis got her out of it and took her somewhere out of town she knew the team would never have a chance at finding her before Lewis killed her.

"What the hell are you trying to do, Olivia?!" Lewis barked at her.

She hadn't seen him come into the room but he had seen her trying escape. She could see how crazed and out of control he looked as he stormed over to her and she tried to roll off the bed away from him as his hands came at her but she had only moved onto her stomach when he pinned her down flat to the bed before quickly straddling her.

"Where do you think you're going?" he whispered into her ear before kissing her face.

"Get off of me!" she yelled.

He wasn't about to, he just continued with his angry kisses. Kisses that moved onto her neck and then her shoulders. She cried out as he sunk his teeth deep into her shoulder.

"Get off me! Help!" she screamed, "Help! Help!"

She would scream it until she was blue in the face or dead. She was so close to coming through this alive and the desire to live now outweighed any previous thoughts of giving into it all. "HELP ME!" she screamed. It was more than painful to do it but if it got her recused then she knew the pain would be worth it.

However, she suddenly felt the cold barrel of the gun against her head. Once more Lewis moved so that his lips brushed against the damaged flesh of her face as he growled into her ear, "On second thoughts I think it would be more fun to leave you here, rotting away until someone actually starts to miss you. Could be weeks before anyone actually gave a shit about why you aren't in work!"

"Fuck you!" she yelled, "GO TO HELL!" she screamed angrily.

"I'll meet you there." he said as he sat upright and pointed the gun at the back of her head. He had just began to squeeze the trigger when he heard a car door slam. The gun in his hand going off masked a second loud slam of a car door.

Lewis had turned to face the window when he had heard the car door but now he turned to look back at Olivia. She lay perfectly still beneath him, blood spattered all over the bed and the wall it rested against. It was even over him. He tucked the gun into the back of trousers and grabbed hold of her hair, he had to check she was dead, however when his hand just became covered in thick warm blood he just knew she was dead.

He climbed off the bed and began gathering some more of his meth from around the room. He couldn't leave it, there wasn't a chance he could cope without it and he couldn't afford to buy more right now. He stashed some cigarettes from around the room into his pocket as well and then ran over to the window. The women were gone now and there was no sign of anyone else, _just a lone car_.

He had no idea who had gotten out of the car but he wasn't sticking around to find out. He ran over to the bed and tried to throw the bed sheet over Olivia's body but it was partly stuck beneath her so it only covered her slightly. He suddenly decided he didn't care if her body was hidden or not it would still be a gruesome shocking discovery for whoever eventually found her. He was just making his way up the hallway when a knock on the door made him freeze, made his heart jump into his throat.

He slowly and silently crept forward. Only stopping when he heard another knock. He could hear voices, male voices and he was sure he recognised them. He suddenly knew Olivia had been right, her partner was here. "Shit!" he whispered.

Once more his heart jumped into this throat as the phone began to ring. He knew it was them ringing, he could here them commenting on how she wasn't answering. He wasn't waiting around a moment longer. He ran over to the living room window and quickly opened it up. He grabbed hold of the wall and climbed out onto the fire escape. He made his way down it as quietly but as quickly as he could. As he got closer to the bottom he had to laugh. He'd gotten away with it again.

_Olivia lay there_, wondering why she still _could_ lie there and _know_ that she was doing so. The gun had been deafening when it had gone off, she had felt the bullet slam into the back of her head, had felt the blood splash onto her face as it burst out of the front. So she didn't understand why she could lie there knowing this. _She didn't expect to know or feel anything anymore, she should be dead. _

She thought maybe she was, maybe she only knew she was lying there becasse she was having some sort of outer body experience _or whatever they called it_, but she was still in soo much pain, pain that threatened to send her into a world of blackness.

She glanced up, unable to move her head at all. Her vision was bouncing between clear and blurred but for a clear second she saw the picture of her and Elliot, his eyes looking right back at her. Just as she was about to fall into the blackness, happy to have Elliot's eyes as the last thing she may ever see, when she heard a bang.

She tried to call out, tried to shout for help but it was like the words were stuck on her tongue. She wanted to bang on the headboard, make some sort of noise, anything to get the attention of whoever was in her apartment, but realising it was probably only Lewis she thought it better not to make any sound. If he knew she had survived a bullet to the head somehow he would no doubt use it as a reason to punish her.

It was only when she heard Amaro's voice that she tried again to call out. She almost couldn't belive it. She tried to call _I'm in here_, but again the words remained stuck in her mouth. She needed them to find her quickly, with every drop of blood that spilled from her body the darkness got closer and closer to consuming her.

It was about to take over her when she heard voices. Amaro wasn't alone, she could hear Fin, and then she felt him touch her, _she just knew it was him_. She wanted to look at him but her eyes had drifted shut and there was nothing she could do to open them again. She tried to say something but again the words got stuck. It was so frustrating but feeling frustration only took her further and quicker into darkness but then she felt him touch her again, his touch was so gentle, suddenly she felt safe again. _"Fin..."_ she slurred, unsure whether or not the words had escaped her mouth.

He must have heard her because she heard them taking about an ambulance, heard them say that it was on its way. _Thank God!_ Pain suddenly shot through her dislocated arm as she felt it being moved. If she could she would have screamed in pain but she could do nothing because the blackness finally won and took over her.

**TBC**

**Couldn't resist using Langan. I know Lewis could never afford him but he is just too good a character to ignore.**

**Thanks so much for reading. I'd appreciate it if you could leave a review and let me know your thoughts on the chapter. As of the next chapter it will all be told in present time, no more switching back and forth between past event's that happened for Olivia and events happening in current time.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Thanks again to everyone reviewing. Sorry this has taken a while to post. I brought my lap-top on holiday so I could continue posting but never got the chance until now when I'm back home.**

**So what did you all think of the premiere?**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**Chapter 8**

"God-damn it I'm telling you she moved her hand. I felt it!" Cassidy protested, but Olivia had yet to move again so he couldn't help but feel that the Doctor didn't seem to believe him.

"It was probably just a muscle spasm." the Doctor suggested.

"I saw it too." Cragen said.

"Sometimes the mind can play tricks." The Doctor told them, almost sounding bored by the conversation.

His attitude infuriated both men. "We're not crazy! We saw it!" Cassidy yelled angrily.

"Look, I appreciate you want to be here but I think maybe you should both go now." The Doctor said upon hearing Cassidy's angry reaction. "One of the most important things she needs now is rest. It's the best way to help her body heal and she won't get that if you're shouting like this."

"No. No, please I want to stay with her. Please, I don't want her to wake up alone. Please?" Cassidy begged, much calmer now.

"Okay." The Doctor replied, "Just you!"

Cragen nodded and as the Doctor turned to leave he turned to face Cassidy and said. "I'm gonna go back to the station house, make sure everything's okay there..."

"Ca..tp..n..?"

The three men all turned to face Olivia who had just spoken. Her words had not been much more than a mumble but they had all heard it. Cassidy quickly ran over to her as did Cragen who gently laid his hand down on her forehead.

"Hey, Liv. It's me, I'm here." the Captain said softly to her.

He felt his heart leap for joy when she opened her eyes slightly to look up at him. "Welcome back." he said with a smile that Olivia tried to copy, but it was obvious she was still too out of it.

"Liv," Cassidy began but the Doctor pushed him aside so he could make some checks having already called out for assistance from some nurses who had been standing in the corridor outside of Olivia's room. "Both of you wait outside until I'm done!" he told them firmly.

As a group of nurses ran in and surrounded Olivia's bed Cragen and Cassidy were both forced back out of the room. Praying everything would be okay with her. Both more than relieved she was even awake but both secretly wondering how she would be feeling, physically and emotionally.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Fin put the phone back down on his desk and sighed with relief. He then looked up at Rollins, Munch and Amaro who were all looking at him waiting for the update he had just received.

"She's awake. Capt'n says the Doc is just finishing up some tests and then they can go back in and see her." he told them.

They all processed this for a moment and then they all began thinking the same thing, "One of us needs to get a statement from her." Rollins said. It truly was what they were all thinking.

However, it was something that none of them really wanted to do. None of them wanted to hear every brutal detail but they knew their own concerns were irrelevant. It was Olivia who mattered and a statement was the best way to get the ball rolling on a trial and the sooner Lewis was behind bars for good the better.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia couldn't help but feel like the discomfort of the nurse taking her blood pressure was the last thing she needed. The band around her arm pinched her skin as it inflated only to then slowly release the pain as it deflated again, leaving the result on the screen for the nurse to see.

"Your blood pressures still low, not dangerously like it was when you first came in. It's risen as you've been here, mostly due to the fact we've been putting fluids back into your body. However it could take a while for it to return to normal again." The nurse told her.

Olivia just nodded, not really paying attention to the nurse and what she had to say. She was too busy scanning the parts of her body that she could see, the numerous bruises unmissable. She also studied the bandages that covered wounds that she couldn't see but that didn't matter as she knew what wounds were beneath those bandages. Wounds that she could see being inflicted on her as she closed her eyes. It made her immediately open her eyes wide, she never wanted to shut them again if it meant she would be forced to replay her ordeal over and over.

She suddenly heard the nurse say something and although she hadn't being paying much attention what she said made her suddenly snap out of her thoughts but she still had to ask, "What did you say?" her words a little mumbled.

"We can't administer emergency contraceptive without your permission..." the nurse began again.

"You're saying I haven't been given anything?" Olivia said, sheer panic in her voice and her words slurred.

The nurse understood her however and said, "I can get you some Levonelle..."

"How long have I been here...?" Olivia asked.

"Going on over thirty hours now..." the nurse told her.

Olivia tried to do the exact maths in her head but she couldn't focus, but she did know that her first rape had occurred well over 72 hours ago. She shook her head, something that made her feel sick with pain. "No," she told the nurse after swallowing down the feeling of nausea, "I need ellaOne..."

"Levonelle works fine..."

"It has to be ellaOne!" Olivia told her as firmly as her slurred words would allow.

_The nurse suddenly realised what Olivia was trying to say. _Levonelle was an effective "morning after" treatment but only if used up to 72 hours after unprotected sex, ellaOne could be used up to 120 hours after unprotected sex to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

"I'll be right back." the nurse said offering a friendly smile.

With her gone Olivia was left alone in her room but only for a moment before Cassidy walked in. "Nurse said I could come in. Do you mind?" he asked her as he lingered in the doorway.

Olivia went to shake her head but realising how much it hurt to do so she just said, "No, that's fine."

Cassidy walked over to her bed. He wanted to reach down and kiss her but he stopped himself. "How you feeling?" he asked, knowing it was a stupid question the moment he had said it.

"Great!" she lied, still with her words slurred and it was beginning to bug her more and more. "What the hells going on with my speech?" she asked.

"Doc's said that the bullet did some damage to the left side of you brain, that's the side that controls speech."

"Great!" she growled sarcastically.

"Well the fact you're speaking at all is amazing, Liv. Doc said you might not be able to speak at all once you woke up."

"Lucky me..." Olivia sighed. The words reminding her too much of a conversation she'd had with Lewis during their time together. _Lewis..._

"Where's Lewis?" she asked.

"He's in custody. He's got that prick Trevor Langan defending him."

Olivia scoffed, then realised how nervous that actually made her. Langan was good and she knew it. She had to suddenly think of anything else but the chance of Langan getting Lewis off.

"I was shot in the head?" she suddenly questioned.

"We reckon Lewis got distracted because the bullet entered your scalp but not your skull. It did cause a fracture though that they repaired with surgery."

"I was in surgery?" She hated that she had no idea she had been in surgery. She hated that she couldn't remember a thing that had happened since her apartment and waking up in the hospital room.

"Yeah for what seemed like forever." Cassidy said as he gently took hold of her hand.

Olivia slipped her hand out of his and reached up and touched her face, _god it hurt_. "Did they do a rape exam?" she asked, at first refusing to look at Cassidy but when he hesitated to answer she turned to face him. He could only nod at her.

Olivia was glad of this, but she was more glad that she had been out of it during the exam. "I need to leave, I need to shower."

"Liv, you can't leave yet. You need fluids, meds..."

"I need a shower, Brian...I can feel him...I just need to go home and wash..." she said, "everywhere..." she muttered inwardly.

"Liv, your place is a crime scene now. You can't go back there." Cassidy told her.

Olivia wanted to laugh at herself for having not realised this for herself. _Of course her place would be a crime scene_. She felt sorry for whoever had to process it. It was also a little humiliating and she dreaded coming face to face with the CSU techs who was processing her home/crime scene during her next case, when she would eventually return to work.

She hated that she had no home to go to. She hated that Lewis had taken that away from her too. _Son-of-a-bitch! _She growled inwardly, having to quickly close her eyes to stop some rebellious tears from falling out.

Cassidy moved to sit down on the bed beside her, ready to offer her the choice of staying with him at his place, but Olivia quickly shrunk back away from him and said, "I'm really tired, Brian. Could you just let me sleep, please?" she asked.

Cassidy was clearly a little shocked that she wanted him gone but he would do whatever she asked so he nodded, "Sure." he said to her, "I'll be in the waiting room if you need me for anything."

Olivia just nodded and offered him a weak smile. Once more he wanted to place a loving kiss on her forehead, _but he didn't._ He smiled at her once more and then made his way over to the door. Just before he got to it the nurse walked in and over to Olivia, carrying a cup of water and a small cup that contained some pills, including her ellaOne.

Cassidy hesitated at the door to watch as the nurse passed Olivia the cup of water and the pills. Olivia wasted no time in swallowing them down, almost choking herself. He watched the nurse quickly help her take a sip of water to stop her choking and then with a sick feeling in his stomach he left.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia lay there looking down at a bandage on her arm, she was picking at the corners of it, her mind lost deep in dark thoughts and memories.

In a flash _she was back in her apartment, tied to her bed with Lewis on top of her. A knife in his hand. _"_Are you really that fucking dumb that you haven't got how this all works?!" Lewis roared at her. "I ask you a question and you answer me or you suffer. Now, left or fucking right?"__"Get off me!" she screamed as loud as she could.__ Once more h__e sank the blade into her flesh and the blood began to seep from the deep wound on her arm_, then with another flash and a knock the memory came to an end.

Olivia looked up upon hearing the knock again. When she did she saw Rollins standing by the door. Her face was filled with sadness, sympathy... Olivia hated that this would be the way people would look at her from now on.

"Sorry, Liv. I didn't mean to startle you. Do you want me to come back later?" the blonde detective asked.

"No. No it's fine." Olivia said, still a little shook up from her flashback and how real it had felt.

Rollins walked over to Olivia's bed, forcing a smile. "You look a little brighter." she said. It was true, earlier Olivia had been white as a ghost from the amount of blood loss she had suffered. Now some of those bloods had been replaced her colour had returned a bit more to normal.

Olivia offered her a weak smile but barely refused to look the younger detective in the eyes. Not even when she knowingly asked, "You here to take my statement?"

Rollins hesitated a moment then nodded, "We figured the sooner we took a statement from you the sooner we could get the trial going and finally put Lewis back behind bars!"

"You pull the short straw on who had to take my statement?" Olivia asked with a small smile, it was that or cry as tears began to burn her eyes.

"We figured it would be easier for you to talk with..." Rollins began.

"A woman?" Olivia finished for her.

Rollins once more hesitated. "Liv, if you're not ready for this...?"

"Lets just get it over and done with. Like you say the sooner the trial starts the sooner Lewis can be locked up for good." Olivia replied with tears threatening to burst their banks.

She then let her head sink back into her pillow and closed her eyes as she wondered where to start and if she could actually find the strength within her to tell Rollins everything that had happened, each dark and humiliating detail of what William Lewis had put her through.

**TBC**

**Thanks so much for reading and I'm so sorry about the wait. Hope it was worth it.**

**Please review and let me know what you think. **


	10. Chapter 9

**Thanks to all reading, reviewing, adding alerts and favorites. Another great episode of SVU on Wednesday. **_**Poor Olivia. **_**Next week's episode looks great for Bensidy! Can't wait to watch it as soon as its available online!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 9**

It had shocked Olivia how easily she had been able to begin telling Rollins everything that had happened from the moment she had realised Lewis was in her apartment. Of course five minutes into her statement and it was like getting blood from a stone. Each horrid brutal detail grew harder and harder to share, still she continued.

"He left at one point to go the store to buy more cigarettes. He knocked me unconscious before he left but I woke up tied to the chair and while he was still out I managed to get free from it." she told Rollins as she looked at a small stitched up wound on her wrist.

Rollins saw her looking at it and asked, "Did Lewis do that do you?"

Olivia shook her head as an image of her trying to use a kitchen knife wedged in a drawer flashed before her eyes. _She remembered the sharp blade cutting into her flesh as she tried to cut herself free, remembered the pain it had caused._ In a blink the image was gone. "It was an accident. I couldn't see the knife I used to cut myself free." she explained.

"What happened once you got free?" Rollins asked.

Olivia sighed and continued, "Lewis came back before I could get out of my apartment. He over powered me again and forced me back into the bedroom and tied me to the bed."

Olivia hesitated as she remembered that moment as the first time she truly thought she was about to be raped. "He gave me a choice." she told Rollins.

"What do you mean?" her confusion etched on her face.

"He would either burn me or rape me, I had to pick which one. When I didn't choose he decided to burn me, but I kicked him as he walked over to the bed and the things he had heated in a frying pan fell to the floor. He got really pissed off, so he put the barrel of the gun in my mouth... and I told him I wanted to live." she hesitated again as she recalled what came next. "He took my clothes off, kissed me, bit me...he...he used his fingers to assault me and then when he was done doing that...he raped me. Over and over. If I closed my eyes he'd hit or bite me or burn me with a cigarette. I passed out at one point but when I woke up he still wasn't done. When he finally was done he just lay next to me and took a nap."

Olivia desperately wanted the images of what she had just told Rollins to stop flashing before her eyes, but they were determined to torment her, so much so it felt as if she were going through it all over again with each graphic detail she saw.

Rollins wanted to apologize to Olivia, but she knew Olivia wouldn't want sympathy. She reached up and rubbed her left eye and then flicked the page over on her notepad. "Did you try to escape while he was sleeping?" she asked.

Olivia shook her head. "No. No,I just lay there for a while. Then I had to use the bathroom. He let me and then there was a struggle. I managed to hurt him. I thought he was going to shoot me but then he gave me the gun, so I pointed it at him, at his head...he'd held it on me so many times, threatened to pull the trigger on me so I pulled the trigger on him." Olivia explained with tears in her eyes.

"It was empty?" Rollins said knowingly.

Olivia just nodded and then continued. "Then he forced me back into the bedroom."

**~0~0~0~0~**

Amaro was stood in Olivia's apartment. CSU had nearly finished up and signs of them having done their job were everywhere. He could see black printing dust on all the surfaces around the living room and kitchen.

He dreaded having to read the statement that Rollins was currently taking. He didn't want to know how William Lewis had tortured and raped his partner. He already wanted to rip the guys head off and he knew that without a doubt hearing all the graphic details would only make his anger worse and likely uncontrollable.

Amaro slowly made his way through her apartment and ended up standing in her bedroom doorway. A familiar female CSU tech who was working in there looked up from her work upon hearing him enter. "Detective Amaro, hows Olivia doing?"

Nick nodded, having barely heard her question, as he looked around Olivia's bedroom. The bed had been stripped of its clothing, _that was all evidence now._ Again he could see print dust on surfaces and he could see that items he had noticed when he and Fin had first rescued Olivia had now been bagged as evidence. Items such as the tools Lewis had used to burn Olivia. The tape he had used to tie her up. The clothes he had tore from her body.

Amaro couldn't answer the techs question because he had no idea how Olivia was doing, instead he just turned to look at her, smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was still giving her statement to Rollins. It shocked her how badly she was shaking from doing so but despite Rollins having offered multiple time to finish up at another time Olivia insisted on continuing.

"I was pinned beneath him, blindfolded. He held a knife somewhere over the left or right side of my body and he kept asking me to guess if it was over the left or the right side? If he had the knife on my right side and I would guess left he would cut me. If he had it over my left side and I guessed left, he would cut me. It was just a twisted game that I couldn't win. And once he was done playing that game he heated up some bent coat hangers. He'd bent and shaped them into his initials and he branded me with them."

Her words tasted so bitter in her mouth and made her feel sick to her stomach as did the flashbacks that came with every detail of her story. She wondered how long it would take her to stop seeing them.

"After that the phone stated ringing and Lewis began to get panicked almost. He wanted to leave. He packed some of my stuff into a bag, gathered some of his stuff together. It all happened too fast to remember everything"

"You had a concussion, Liv. You're bound to forget some of this stuff." Rollins said.

Olivia struggled to remember for a moment then said, "I tried to get off the bed. We struggled and he changed his mind, told me he was going to kill me in my apartment instead of take me to his _special place_. Last thing I remember is hearing the gun go off and wondering why I wasn't dead, and then Fin's and Nick's voices...then I woke up here."

Rollins sighed. She was more than relieved the statement was over, but she knew the details would be going through her mind all night. She was relieved she didn't need to hear more and that was something that made her feel unbelievably selfish. Guilt suddenly over powered her and with tears in her eyes she blurted out, "Liv, I'm so sorry. If I had never dragged you all into this case that day none of this would have happened to you. I wish Lewis would have come after me and not you, you didn't deserve this."

"And neither would you have. Lewis came after me because I stood up to him, because he thought I wasn't scared by him."

"Lewis only came into our lives because of me." Rollins pointed out.

"No." Olivia said determinedly, "Lewis came into our lives because he's a monster and it's our job to put people like him away. Even if you hadn't have arrested him that day he would have hurt someone else and we would have caught the case anyway."

"I just feel so guilty that this happened to you. I wish I could trade places, Liv."

"Amanda, I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy. I'd walk through fire before I let it happen to a friend."

Rollins smiled at her, despite her guilt still eating away at her. Olivia smiled back, pretending to feel more okay than she actually was.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was stood leaning over the bathroom sink, her one hand resting on the cold white porcelain, the other up in its sling, as she stared at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes for just a second but was met with flashbacks of Lewis on top of her again, his body forcing itself into hers.

It felt too real, like he was actually inside her again. It was sickening enough to make her heave but her stomach was too empty to spill anything so heaving did nothing but cause her excruciating pain to her ribs.

It suddenly made her so angry that she slammed her balled up fist down against the sink. Another flashback of Lewis sinking a blade into her flesh during one of his sick games made her even more uncontrollably angry, so she slammed her fist down harder, knowing that she was undoubtedly bruising herself in the process.

Deciding she was already covered in more than enough bruises she reached into the pocket of her robe and pulled out a small pair of scissors. She had taken them from the nurse who had left in a distracted state after changing her bandages. She had left the scissors behind and Olivia had tucked them into her pocket, not sure why at the time but sure she would use them for something. As she looked at them now she knew just what she wanted to use them for.

She slowly ran her thumb up the length of the blade. She winched slightly as she felt the sharp blade pierce her skin. _Perfect _she thought to herself. Glaring at herself in the mirror she took a handful of her hacked hair using her dislocated arm. It was uncomfortable to use it but she didn't care about that right now. Closing her eyes at the same time she closed the blades of the scissors around the handful of hair. _Short hair was the last thing she wanted but she had to feel like it had been her choice and not just Lewis's clumsy handiwork. _

She didn't stop cutting at her hair until it was roughly one length. When she was done she put the scissors down and stood there staring at the woman looking back at her in the mirror. _She wondered who she was...wondered if the Olivia Benson she usually saw in her reflection would ever return. _Her uncertainty brought tears to her eyes and a sob that burst loudly from her throat.

Alone in the bathroom she broke down, unsure how she would pull herself back into one piece.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**Two and a half weeks later**_

The fresh air on her skin felt amazing. Olivia stood in the hospital car park and let the cool breeze blow all around her, blow through her hair that was so much shorter than she actually wanted it to be, but she hated that she could still feel Lewis running his hands through it, feel him hacking at it as he removed duck-tape, feel him pulling on it hard as he controlled her.

"You ready?" she suddenly heard Cassidy ask, his unexpected question almost made her jump out of her skin.

She looked up over the roof of the car and without saying a thing or barely even looking at him she climbed into the car. Once inside she grabbed her seat belt and struggled for a moment to put it on due to her dislocated shoulder which rested in a sling across her chest.

"Let me help you." Cassidy offered leaning over her. Olivia quickly pushed his arm away from her, "I got it!" she snapped at him a little harsher than she had meant to.

Cassidy smiled and sat back in his own seat and watched as she continued to struggle to put it on. He wanted to offer again but he could see the determined look in her eyes. After a further minute she managed to put it on. She sighed, sounding exhausted by the task. When she realised Cassidy was sat staring at her she turned to face him. "You gonna sit there and stare at me all day or are you going to drive?" she snapped. Before turning to look out of the window.

Cassidy smiled sadly, wondering how long she would continue taking her anger out on him. He then started up the car and began their journey back to his apartment where Olivia had decided she would stay. _It Beat staying in a strange hotel room alone._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia turned the shower taps off and stepped out of the tub on shaky legs. She was truly exhausted and just wanted to climb into bed, curl up in as little a ball as her beaten body would allow and hide under the duvet and pray that this would be the night she would get a lot more than half an hour of undisturbed sleep at a time. She was sick to death of waking up from nightmares with her body drenched in sweat, her heart pounding so hard in her chest she thought it might explode, and tears falling so fast down her cheeks that she couldn't even attempt to dry her face off.

She wrapped a towel around her body then grabbed another and gently rubbed her hair dry, carful not to rub the healing wound from her surgery. Truth was her body was healing quick, physically she had always healed quick, emotionally she wasn't so lucky.

She threw the towel to one side once the majority of her hair was a dry as it would get. She then gently combed it through, staring at herself in the mirror. She put the comb down and continued to look at her reflection. Her bruises had faded and now just appeared a horrible yellow colour, _makeup would easily cover them._

Her wounds looked a little less angry now, but the deeper ones had a lot more healing to do and even then Olivia knew she would be left with ugly scars. Those scars didn't bother her as much as others did. She removed the towel from around her body and let it fall to the floor by her feet.

She delicately traced her fingers over the burns on her body, burns that were healing in the perfect shape of the object that had been used to make them, which of course had been Lewis's intention. Perhaps the ones Olivia hated most and the ones that made her tears began to fall was the perfect W.L. She hated that she had his initials on her, a permanent reminder of him.

She had to reach up and hide her face behind her hands as she stood there and sobbed.

**~0~0~0~0~**

After changing into a baggy hoody and some leggings Olivia had stepped out into the living room. She didn''t even notice Cassidy in the kitchen as she walked over to the couch and tucked herself into one corner, building a type of barrier around herself with the cushions off of it. She looked up as Cassidy suddenly stepped in front of her with two bowls of steamy creamy chicken and bacon pasta in his hands, one of which he held out to her.

"What's this?" she asked in disgust as she took the bowl from him.

"Pasta, just the way you like it." Cassidy replied, unable not to sound a little put out by her attitude. "There's garlic bread too if you want some to go with it?"

"I'm not hungry." Olivia told him as she practically dropped the plate of pasta onto the coffee table in front of the couch.

Cassidy sighed inwardly then replied, "Liv, the doctor said you have to eat in order to help your body heal."

"And I will eat but not when I'm not hungry."

"Liv, you've barely ate a thing all day."

"Because I've not been hungry!" she argued.

"When are you ever hungry?" Cassidy argued back.

"Back off!" she growled at him as she pushed herself up and stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Cassidy just sighed and flopped down onto the couch. Having suddenly lost his own appetite he threw the bowl down next to Olivia's and dragged his fingers through his hair, wondering how in hell he would be able to get through to Olivia and have her let him help her through the nightmare she felt stuck in.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia was lay on her side, curled up with the duvet tucked right up under her chin. She was hot with the duvet over her and because of the fact she was still wearing her thick hoody and leggings but she wasn't about to throw the duvet off or change into a lighter pair of pyjamas. The truth was she felt naked and vulnerably exposed without thick clothing and the duvet tucked around her as she tried to sleep.

She had just closed her eyes, praying for a deep sleep to take her over, when she heard the bedroom door open. She watched as Cassidy walked over to the bed, and wearing just a pair of sweat bottoms climbed into bed.

Olivia quickly turned her back to him and shuffled right to the edge of the bed. It was more than uncomfortable but she tried to edge even more to the side as Cassidy crawled under the duvet and lay on his back next to her.

She knew without a doubt Cassidy would never hurt her and she trusted him one hundred percent but being this close to anyone, especially in a bed, was more than she could handle right now. As quickly as her aching and exhausted body would allow her she sat up, ready to climb out of bed.

"You okay?" Cassidy asked her, concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm just not tired." she lied.

"Liv, you're exhausted." he said knowingly. He also guessed she didn't feel comfy with him next to her and although it broke his heart if it meant she got the rest her body needed to heal he would happily sleep on the couch and let her have the bed to herself. "I'm not really tired though, I'm gunna go have a beer, watch some TV. I'll be in the living room if you want anything."

He was up and out of bed before she had time to argue. Olivia watched him walk out. She hated that she was pushing him away especially when there was a big part of her that just wanted him to wrap his arms around her and never let her go. She'd always felt so safe in his arms. She sighed heavily and crawled back under the duvet and once more just prayed that a deep sleep would take over her.

**~0~0~**

It hadn't taken long at all for Olivia to fall asleep. Cassidy now stood in the bedroom doorway. His eyes were locked on Olivia whose face was lit up by the bedside lamp she insisted on keeping on while she slept. It broke his heart to see the fear on her face as she slept. He could see her body trembling and he knew she was being forced to endure nightmares of what Lewis had put her through.

He so desperately wanted to go over and hold her and beg her to believe him when he told her he was there for her and would never let anyone hurt her again...but he stayed in the doorway watching over her. The truth was he was almost scared to touch her out of fear it would push her further away than she had already drifted from him..._he had to wonder if she would ever come back to him_...he wondered how he could make her see that she could trust him; _wondered if she truly knew just how much he loved and adored her._

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all reading, reviewing and following. I really do appreciate it. Sorry this has taken longer than usual to update. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine if you've seen them on SVU.**

**Chapter 10**

Two long weeks had passed since Olivia had left the hospital. The cuts and burns on her body had healed fast and most of her bruises were completely faded..._most of them. _

There were still deeper burns and cuts that would still take time to heal completely. Some cuts that had been stitched had had the stitches removed just a few days ago. A couple of bruises that had been caused by heavier blows refused to fade completely just yet. They seemed adamant to stay as painful little reminders that she certainly didn't need anymore of.

She'd been staying with Cassidy the whole time since leaving hospital, and although she hated the fact, things were still hard between them. This was mostly due to the way she was acting towards him still.

It was late in the evening and Olivia was ready to get into bed. First she was taking some meds, washed down with some icy cold water. She stood in the kitchen watching Cassidy who was lay on the couch under a duvet. He'd been sleeping on the couch since the first night Olivia had stayed. She did feel awful for having kicked him out of his own bed but he hadn't complained about the fact.

In fact he hadn't complained at all about the way she was treating him. He truly was taking great care of her. He was cooking her some great food, and she had to admit she loved his cooking. At first she hadn't wanted to eat at all and although her appetite was still not what it once had been she had at least began eating one meal a day again. Cassidy could only try in vain to convince her to eat two meals a day every day.

The previous week he'd been round to her apartment to pick her up some clothes when she had felt unable to return there. She'd lied telling him she felt too ill to travel to her apartment but truth was she was scared to go back there. She didn't doubt that he had known she was lying and he'd brought her enough stuff to last her over a month, not to mention a couple of personal items.

She had truly appreciated it. She loved how considerate he was being. She loved how he was desperate to take care of her. When he saw her trying to hide the fact her body was aching he would prepare her a hot bubble bath with candles lit around it. She loved how when she had fallen asleep on the couch he had covered her over with a duvet and sat on the floor in front of her reading having turned the game off so as not to have it wake her.

_She just loved him, everything about him. _

As she rinsed her glass off she began to realise she had felt so safe staying here and she knew that was mostly due to the fact Cassidy was there. She walked across the living room towards the bedroom. She froze and was about to ask Cassidy if he wanted to sleep in the bedroom with her, truth was she missed having him hold her, when he suddenly spoke first, "Good'night, Liv.."

Her words suddenly got lost and all she could say was, "Night." before she stepped into the bedroom, closing the door too but not shutting it properly. She climbed into bed and like she did most nights prayed for a good nights sleep. Her prayers were always in vain. _She never ever slept well anymore._

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**The following day**_

Cassidy watched Olivia as they stood in the elevator together. He could see her rubbing her tired eyes, trying to hide a yawn, wincing at the pain it caused her ribs. They were almost healed but had taken their time and so were still causing her a lot of pain at times.

"You okay?" he asked her.

Olivia quickly turned to face him, she had almost forgotten he was there with her. She shook her head but said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired." _Understatement of the century, she was completely exhausted. _

The elevator came to a stop and they both stepped out, however Cassidy turned to the left and Olivia to the right.

"Liv, where you going? " Cassidy asked, "Barba's office is this way."

Olivia stopped to check that she had in fact gone the wrong way. "This place is like a maze..." she lied as she walked past Cassidy, now heading in the right direction towards Barba's office.

Cassidy was frozen to the spot for a moment as he wondered how fine she really was. He noticed she had been getting more and more confused like this and he had no doubt at all that it was all down to the fact that she hardly ever slept and when she did she didn't truly rest because she was plagued by nightmares. He knew he was watching her lose it and one way or another he was determined not to see her crash, and he certainly wouldn't let her burn.

_He followed after her as he tired to workout what he would do for her._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia had been sat down by Barba's desk for the last twenty minutes, answering his questions as they prepared for Lewis's trial.

"Let's start from the beginning again..." Barba said.

Cragen was in the room along with Cassidy. The two men could only watch on as Olivia struggled to answer Barba's quick fire questions. She knew he was just preparing her for the way Langan would question her. She knew Langan's style and she liked to think she could cope with it..._.but right now she wasn't so sure. _

"...What time did you arrive in your apartment?" Barba continued.

"It was late..." Olivia replied.

"...What time exactly?" Barba interrupted.

"Eight o'clock, I think."

"You think or you know?"

"I'm not sure. I left the precinct, went to the grocery store..."

"...Did you see or talk to anyone." he said, barely letting her finish what she was saying.

"No." she snapped.

"When you got to your apartment did you noticed anything suspicious? Was the front door ajar perhaps?"

"No, I used my keys to gain access and once inside put them, my groceries and my cell phone down on the worktop."

"Okay. When did you realise Lewis was in your apartment."

_Olivia blinked and images of that moment began playing before her eyes. She had put the groceries, her cell and her keys down and then heard a noise. She had called out, thinking it may be Brian, she had stepped out of the kitchen and suddenly had a gun thrust in her face._

"Did he say anything to you?" Barba asked.

_The images continued, 'Welcome home Detective Benson..." Lewis said to her with a smirk that made her blood run cold._

"Detective Benson!" Barba said in a raised voice, trying to bring her out of her thoughts.

"He said welcome home." she said before she looked down at her hands and noticed how badly they were shaking. She quickly held them together in an attempt to make it less noticeable to the others, but it was pointless as they had all already noticed.

"Then what?" Barba asked.

"There was a struggle. I tried to get free, he managed to restrain me. He told me that Brian had called to say he would be out of town for a few days, then the phone rang, the machine picked up a message from my Captain to reiterate that I had two days off. Lewis knew he had that amount of time with me before anyone would suspect anything."

Cragen sat listening, suddenly feeling sick. He wished he had never called her, never mentioned the two days off. If he hadn't then perhaps Lewis wouldn't have done what he had. Then again, he knew those feelings were a little misplaced as Lewis surely would have taken Olivia elsewhere if he thought someone would be round to check on her sooner, _but he still couldn't help but feel guilty. _

"Then what?" Barba asked quickly.

Olivia put her hand to her head and rubbed her temple in an attempt to rid herself of the headache she could feel forming. "Err, he...we...err." Olivia closed her eyes and tried to remember but it was all a blur.

It was common in victims to forget things, for shock to force their minds to store away memories that were too difficult to deal with. She knew this was what was happening with her and it killed her that she couldn't remain focused enough to pull the memories forward.

"He tied me to the bed. I think he burnt me..."

Cragen opened the file with her statement in it. He knew this was wrong and quickly reading over her statement told him he was right. He knew that before Lewis had tied her to the bed he had tied her to a chair. There he had burnt her and orally raped her... "Liv, try to rethink that?" he sad, trying to sound encouraging.

Olivia looked at him and saw the file in his hands, she knew she had got it wrong. She closed her eyes again but all she saw was herself tied to the bed and Lewis raping her. She shook her head and shook the images from her mind. She cleared her throat and said. "He tied me to bed and he raped me. Then he ordered pizza." she said.

She quickly glanced at Cragen whose facial expression told her she had got it wrong again. She sighed heavily then rubbed both hands over her face. She forced back tears of frustration. "He told me I had to stay quiet or he would hurt the delivery person..." _Surely that was right...?_

Cragen shook his head. "Not quite, Liv."

"Olivia, that came later. We need to talk about what came before that?" Barba said.

"I thought had come next." she said, sounding more than frustrated.

"No. Tell me what happened after the phone calls, the messages?" Barba asked again as he held a copy of her statement in his hands.

Olivia once more tried to think as hard as she could. "I got to the bathroom..." she began.

Barba sighed a breath of relief. "Yes. What happened then?" he said feeling a bit more positive that she was on track now.

"He passed me his gun and told me to shoot him..."

Barba slumped down on the edge of his desk and sighed. He had thought she was back on track but she wasn't. She had the timeline so jumbled in her head he wasn't sure she would ever get it right.

Olivia knew by his and Cragen's reaction that she had gotten it wrong again. "I'm sorry. I just need a minute to think."

"I'll give you ten." Barab said with a smile as he stood up and placed a supportive hand on her shoulder, just for a second before she had chance to shrug it off. "I'm gonna get us all some coffee's." he said before he walked out. Cragen quickly followed after him.

Olivia looked over at Cassidy and he could see the tears in her eyes. He offered her an encouraging smile but he wasn't sure it helped much.

**~0~0~**

Cragen stepped out of Barba's office and saw the ADA standing at the end of corridor by a window that looked out over the city. He walked over to join him by it and for a moment both men stood there feeling as glum as each other.

"I don't think I need to tell you that that did not go well." Barba said to him.

"I've seen her better under pressure." Cragen said trying to make light of the situation.

The look Barba gave him told him there was no way to make light of this. "We need to help her get her story straight or we're screwed."

"What are you saying?" Cragen asked in a tone that said 'how badly are we screwed?'

"I'm saying no judge will see her as a reliable witness in that state of mind. She can't remember the events that took place or what order they took place in and she _will _be torn apart by Langan when he realises that too. I'm saying we have to get her help or I risk letting this prick walk again."

Cragen couldn't miss the guilt in Barba's tone, "We all made mistakes last time that led to him walking, not to mention this snake has unbelievably good luck when it comes to squirming his way through loopholes. We won't let him do it again and Olivia sure as hell won't."

Barba smiled a little, he appreciated Cragen trying to make him feel less guilty. It didn't completely work but that was something he would resolve with Olivia when he worked up the guts to apologise to her.

"Has she seen a therapist yet?" Barba asked.

"There's one whom she's been appointed to but she hasn't seen him yet."

"I think it's time she should." Barba said matter-of-factly.

**~0~0~**

Cragen and Barba had returned with coffee's for all of them and a determination to persuade Olivia to go see the therapist. She had taken the idea as well as they thought she would have..._badly._

"I don't need to see a therapist!" she argued as she paced Barba's office.

"Olivia, how many victims do you send to this guy, you know he's good. You know therapy works." Cragen argued back.

Olivia just scoffed and shook her head. True she had sent victims to him in the past but that didn't mean she wanted to go speak to him. All she really wanted to do was go to bed, sleep, wake up and have all of this having been nothing but a dream.

"Liv, this guy could help." Cassidy said. It was what he was going to have tried talking her into anyway, so having Cragen and Barba suggesting it too was perfect. He knew it would do her good to talk to someone about what happened as she certainly wasn't talking to him or anyone else

"Liv, this is going to be blunt but I think it's what you need to hear," Barba began, "You go on the stand and answer questions like you have today and this case is gonna go down hill faster than a wrecking ball."

Olivia knew he was right, but he was also right on the fact his words were blunt. She hated to think that she could be the one who would make it so easy for Lewis to walk again.

"Until you get some help, have someone to talk to ,you're not okay to be a reliable witness." Barba said, trying to sound less blunt now.

"I'm fine." Olivia told him firmly. "I'm just tired." she added.

"That's because you never sleep, Liv." Cassidy suddenly announced. "Talking to this guy might help you get some of the shit you went through off your mind. Talking to him might help you make sense of it all. Maybe then you'll sleep the way you need to." Cassidy said to her.

"Liv, I spoke to this Dr when we were getting coffee. He said he'll see you today." Cragen told her.

Olivia sighed heavily and then nodded her head. She'd do it if it meant she didn't have to see Lewis walk. If he was a free man...then she truly would _never _sleep again.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia had sent many victims to Dr Lindstrom but she had never seen the man, never stepped foot in his practice., only ever heard his voice over the phone. Now she was here she was surprised how comforting it was. It was nicely decorated, well lit and most important..._it felt safe here._

Dr Linstrom was not what she had imagined he would look like. He was a tall man with friendly eyes and a welcoming smile. He was well dressed, clean shaven and his hair was neat. He sat far enough away from her to not be intimidating but close enough for her to feel like she wasn't alone here.

After he was done after introducing himself and telling her a bit about how he liked his sessions to work, he asked her if she had anything she wanted to say. Her reply had been, "I don't really want to be here, but I have to be."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I can't keep my head straight anymore. I'm slowly falling apart...in fact I'm rapidly falling apart. Trial starts next week and I can't even answer questions about what happened. right"

"You don't need me to tell you that its common for survivors to put memories in another compartment of their brain. They mentally tell themselves they'll go back to them later and deal with them but those neglected memories start eating away at you pretty quickly..."

Olivia nodded, "It's like my head won't let me remember them but it also won't let me forget them...which makes no sense, I know."

"That's your head trying to protect you."

"I know...I just wish it would stop. I need to make sense of it all."

"Do you really believe you ever will?"

Olivia shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "No, because it doesn't make sense that I was so stupid. That instead of taking out my gun I walked through my apartment unarmed when I thought someone was in it. It doesn't make sense that I didn't fight harder against Lewis"

"Looking through your file and reading your statement I'd say you fought back pretty hard."

"Not hard enough."

"I think you need to remind yourself that in the situation William Lewis put you in you were no longer a Detective, you were a victim. William made you into one, you didn't and nothing you think you did or didn't do made you one either. I think you need to remember that William Lewis tried everything to break you and ultimately put a bullet in your head to kill you, yet here you are. I think that makes you the strongest, or the most stubborn, person I've ever known." Lindstrom said, making Olivia laugh. _She knew she was stubborn as hell._

"I think you need to give yourself a break. I think you need to talk to the ones around you and me. I'd like to see you again if only so you can tell me in a week that this scumbag is going down for the rest of his life." Lindstrom said.

Olivia smiled and said, "I'd like that."

**~0~0~0~0~**

After her session, during which Cassidy had been waiting outside in the car for her, they had returned home. Cassidy had cooked her some amazing food and for a while they had both sat watching TV together. Although they had sat at opposite ends of the couch Olivia had liked feeling so close to him again.

After a while she had showered and decided that it was time for her to attempt to get some sleep. It had been a good hour or so since Olivia had gone to bed but Brian had been unable to sleep. It wasn't that his couch was uncomfortable, it was actually really comfy but he always lay awake for as long as possible at night so he could listen out for Olivia crying in her sleep.

This had been the longest she'd gone without making a sound so he figured it was probably okay to try and sleep now. He grabbed the remote, turned the TV off and the room fell into darkness. He shifted down under the duvet and let let his tired eyes drift shut.

He wasn't sure if he'd been asleep for a minute or for an hour when a blood curdling scream pierced through the darkness. He was on his feet and charging towards the bedroom before the scream had fully registered. "Liv!" he cried out as he ran into the bedroom.

As usual the lamp beside the bed was on so the moment he entered the bedroom he saw Olivia thrashing in the bedsheets that had become tangled around her body. She was still half asleep but tears were streaming down her face. "No!" she screamed, "Please, stop!"

Cassidy couldn't stand back and watch. He walked over to her and sat on the bed beside her, he placed one hand on her shoulder and one on her side and loudly called out her name, "Liv!" He was desperate to wake her from her nightmare.

His touch alone was like an electric jolt to her body that woke her. She looked scared to death until she saw it was him and then she just began to cry as she struggled to get herself free from the bedding.

"Shh, it's okay." Cassidy told her as he helped unravel her.

The moment she was free he expected her to dive off the bed away from him so he was completely shocked when she sat up, threw her arms around his neck and held him tighter than she had ever held him before.

"Hey, it was just a dream. You're okay." he told her soothingly as he gently wrapped his arms around her, not wanting to hold her too tight and freak her out.

She only held him tighter as she cried into his chest for a minute longer. He wished he could so something to soothe her more, something to stop her nightmares all together, take all her pain away. "It was just a dream. He can't hurt you anymore." he whispered to her again.

She suddenly pulled back but reached up to hold his face before she rested her forehead against his chest. "It wasn't just me this time. He shot you right in front of me when you tired to save me. He raped me as I watched you bleed to death. I begged him to stop, to let me help you."

"Oh, Liv." he said as he kissed the top of her head.

"It felt so real. The thought of you dying and leaving me..." she confessed before more tears burst their banks.

"Hey," he told her, "I'm not going anywhere. You don't get rid of me that easy. Like it or not you're stuck with me." he told her playfully, he was surprised to hear her laugh a little. He'd missed her laugh.

She pulled away again so she could look into his eyes. Cassidy reached up and a little hesitantly reached for her face so he could gently brush away her tears. He was happy and shocked that she wasn't pulling away from him.

"I'm glad." she told him, "I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore. I'm so sorry I've been so hard on you the last few weeks."

"Liv, I think you have every right to act the way you have."

"You didn't deserve it."

"I kinda feel like I did." Cassidy replied.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, confused.

"If I hadn't acted like a jerk we wouldn't have argued and we probably would have spent those two days together and Lewis would never have hurt you."

"Bri, chances are if you had been there Lewis would have killed you or he would have waited until you weren't around until he attacked me. Lewis was determined to make me pay for standing up to him."

"I still wish I would have called round and spared you what hell he put you through. I wanna put a bullet in his head, but first I wanna beat the living daylights out of him and burn him and cut him..."

"Get in line." she replied.

"Liv, I totally understand if you don't want to tell me everything that happened with him in your apartment but if you did wanna talk about it I want you to know I'm here and I'd listen to you."

Olivia smiled at him and said, "Trial begins next week you're gonna hear all the details then anyway. I'd rather you hear them from me first." she told him.

**~0~0~**

Olivia had decided to tell Cassidy everything that had happened. She had lay in his arms, face to face, as she told him every brutal thing Lewis had put her through and Cassidy had listened to every word. He had held her when she had stopped to cry and kissed her head in order to soothe her.

When she was done they had simply lay in one another arms. Olivia had then moved her full body into Cassidy's and had kissed him. She had missed his kisses. She had forgotten that kisses could be gentle and loving. She had forgotten how amazing Cassidy's lips felt against hers.

Feeling loved and safe in his arms she had felt her eyes drift shut, just before she fell fast into a deep sleep she whispered to Cassidy, "I love you, Brian."

Cassidy smiled and kissed her hair before he whispered back, "I love you too, Olivia."

In one another's arms they fell fast asleep and both slept peacefully through the night.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**One week later**_

Olivia felt sick she was so nervous. Her hands were shaking like leaves in a violent wind and her heart was beating so hard in her chest it felt like it might burst right through. She turned on the tap and splashed cold water over her face and neck. _She felt so hot all of a sudden._

She glanced up at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and simply stared at herself for a moment. She almost jumped out of her skin when in the mirror she saw Rollins walk in to the court house woman's bathroom behind her.

"You ready?" Rollins asked her.

"Will be in a minute." Olivia replied with a weak smile.

Rollins smiled back and decided to wait outside the bathroom for her. Alone again Olivia turned to look at herself once more.

"Breathe Benson..." she told herself, "You can do this."

The truth was she really wasn't sure if she could do this. She wasn't sure if she could face Lewis, The Beast, again. She wished she never ever had to see him again, but this trial had to happen in order for him to be locked behind bars for good. Her daily sessions with Dr Lindstrom were going well and when she and Barba had gone back over trail preparations she had done amazingly.

"Just keep breathing...You _can_ do this." she told herself as she turned on her heels and left the bathroom.

**~0~0~0~0~**

"All rise for the honorable Judge Rowan !"

The court erupted into sounds of clothes rustlings, heels stomping on hard wood floor, chairs scraping then once more silence as the judge walked in. Once Judge Carter was sat he gave his permission for everyone else to sit as well.

As they did Olivia glanced over at where Lewis stood next to Trevor Langan. Her heart skipped a beat when he turned and looked over his shoulder, his eyes locking on hers, for just a second before he blew her a quick subtle kiss and turned away from her with his usual smirk on his face.

Olivia wanted to run from the court room as quick as her legs would allow her but Nick whispered into her ear. "You'll be the one smirking when that prick is sent away for good."

Olivia smiled slightly and Nick took hold of her hand and guided her back down onto the bench. Cassidy then took hold of her other hand and Olivia gripped his tightly as opening arguments began.

**TBC**

**For the record this might not follow proper court proceedings but it will go the way it goes for entertainment purposes. **

**Thanks so so much for reading. Please leave a review. **


	12. Chapter 11

**Thanks to everyone reading, reviewing and adding alerts. I appreciate it all. I'm so sorry its taken so long to update. It has taken me a while to decide if I was happy enough with this chapter but I think I finally made up my mind. Hope all you readers like it.**

**My inspirational tune for writing this chapter was a song by Merril Bainbridge called State of mind. It just fit the way Olivia is feeling in this chapter perfectly, until the end part when she is thinking perfectly clear. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 11**

Olivia couldn't keep her eyes off the back of Lewis's head. Court had been in session for well over two hours and she had barley heard a word of any of it. She was just too focused on Lewis. Every now and then he would turn his head towards her ever so slightly. She was sure he knew she was watching him, she could see part of the smirk on his face from where she sat. _God she wanted to knock it off his face! _This thought was a familiar one that had a flashback hit her hard and fast.

_She was suddenly lying on her bed with her arms tied above her head. Lewis was lying on top of her, his body still in hers as he fought to catch his breath after having just raped her. His face was resting on her chest and she could feel his hot breath against her breast. There was nothing she could do to get him off her, all she could do was lay there underneath him feeling pain and humiliated. Having caught his breath his pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down at her. "Was it as good for you as it was for me Sweetheart?" he asked, a sickening smirk on his face. _

Her flashback ended as she heard Langan suddenly shout out an objection. She turned to focus on the trial and watched as Barba turned his back on one of Langan's witnesses and walked back to his seat, offering Olivia a quick smile and a subtle wink of his eye. She had no idea what had just happened but figured it was something in their favor.

The trial wasn't just about Olivia, it was also about the murder of Vanessa Mayer's sister but for now the focus was all on Olivia and what Lewis had put her through as those events had taken place before the murder. _It was all to establish a time line._

"I'd like to call my next witness, your Honour." Langan announced.

"Go ahead Mr Langan,"

"I'd like to call Detective Olivia Benson to the stand!"

Hearing her own name called out snapped Olivia out of her thoughts. She turned to see tons of eyes focusing on her. She felt Cassidy squeeze her hand in support as she pushed herself to her feet and made her way to the front of the court.

As she walked to the witness stand she could feel Lewis's eyes burning holes in her back and when she was seated she glanced up to see him glaring at her, just a slight smirk on his face. She never took her eyes off him as she swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

She then turned to look at Langan and watched as someone suddenly passed him a file before moving to sit down at the back of the court. Olivia turned to look at Barba, wondering if he knew what the file was about.

"Detective Benson, can you tell me what happened the night you claim my client brutally assaulted you in your apartment, completely of his own accord?"

"Claimed?" Olivia asked in shock, "Have you even looked at any of the photo's from this case?"

"Detective Benson, of course I've seen the photo's. What I asked is for you to tell me your account of what happened."

Olivia sighed quietly with frustration, she hated that Langan was already acting like the ass he was. She reminded herself to remain focused, took a deep breath and began, "After finishing work I headed to the grocery store where I bought a few items. I then returned home and it was once I was inside my apartment I discovered that the Defendant had broken in."

"Were the signs of a break in? Was the door ajar? Any windows broken?" Langan asked.

"No. I have no idea how he broke in..."

"...Which can only make one question whether he did in fact break in." Langan said as he read through the file he had just been given.

"Well I certainly didn't invite him in. He was already inside my apartment when I got home. He shoved a gun in my face and we struggled. I tried to hide in the bathroom but he broke the door open and he dragged me into the bedroom. I tried to reason with him but he knocked me out. When I woke up I was tied to a chair."

"Lets just peddle backwards a little." Langan said brushing off what she had just said, "I'd like to ask you about the phone call you made to my clients mobile from your home phone?"

Olivia couldn't hide the look of confusion from her face. She could see Barba looking at her like she had hidden this fabricated fact from him. "I never called him?" she told Langan.

"Well these phone records show us differently." he said holding the folder up in the air.

"Your Honour, I've never seen any phone records!" Barba argued as he pushed himself up to his feet behind his desk.

"Approach!" The Judge said to them and both men walked right up to him.

"No phone records where ever presented as potential evidence." Barba argued.

"I've just received them!" Langan told the Judge, "You're welcome to check their authenticity but I can assure you you will find nothing wrong with them."

"Your Honour, I _want_ these records authenticated _before_ they can be presented as evidence."

"Fair enough Mr Barba. I'm calling a recess so you can have this done. You have ninety minutes before I want you both back in my court."

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia followed Barba into his office along with Cassidy and Amaro.

"Did you call him?" Barba asked before Amaro, the last in, had even had chance to shut the door behind them.

"Are you for real!" Cassidy yelled angrily in disbelief.

"Why the hell would I have called him?" Olivia argued.

"Why the hell do your phone records show you did?"

"They've not even been authenticated yet!" Amaro reminded him. He felt as angry as Olivia and Cassidy.

"Langan isn't stupid enough to present false evidence." Barba snapped at them, "Liv, you have to tell me if you called him, for what ever reason?"

Olivia walked right up to Barba and looked him right in the eye and said "I. DID. NOT. CALL. THAT. MONSTER!"

"Well someone did, from your apartment." Barba told her.

"Have you ever thought that maybe Lewis called himself to make it look like Liv called him." Amaro suggested.

"You think he's that clever?" Cassidy asked.

"Yeah." Olivia answered with nervous laugh.

"Then I have to prove it." Barba said, "The time this call was made, where were you?" Barba asked as he glanced at the files.

Olivia leant over and had a quick look at the file in his hands aswell and then realised. "I was in the store."

"Great," Barba said, "Did you use a card to pay?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, cash."

Barba felt a little defeated but then said, "Nick, call the grocery store find out if they have camera footage from that night."

Amaro did as he was told, knowing the store Olivia had used from having heard her mention it. As the shop owner answered he asked his question, leaving Barba and Olivia to discuss the records.

"I swear to you, I never called him." Olivia told Barba.

"I know, I believe you, but Langan is going to say you did. I think he's going to go for an entrapment argument." Barba said, thinking out loud.

"As in I called Lewis to come round so he would beat and rape me and then we could charge him?"

"Langan will argue that you were angry that Lewis got off, that you were

determined to see him go down. It makes sense." Barba said, "If it meant Lewis would go down, Langan will prove you were desperate enough."

"That's crazy." she replied.

"No its brilliant, and if he can make the jury believe it even slightly then its turns from brilliant to dangerous."

Olivia was more than worried about that, she turned to Amaro as he hung up. She hoped the footage was available. She knew a time stamp on the camera would show she didn't make the call. The disappointed look on Amaro's face made her stomach churn. "What?" she asked.

"Owner says the camera's were out that whole week. I asked him did he remember you but he didn't. We have no way to prove you didn't make that call, Liv." he said.

Olivia felt her legs start to wobble beneath her. She slumped down onto Barba's desk and suddenly realised, "Lewis is gonna walk again..."

**~0~0~0~0~**

Court was back in session. The records had been authenticated and so Olivia found herself back on the stand with Lewis glaring at her with an even bigger smirk creeping over his face as Langan shot his first question at her.

"Detective Benson, this phone call you made to my client...?"

"I didn't make any phone calls!" she argued.

"Phone records show you did. Not to mention my client has told me about the phone call and what was said in _great_ detail."

"Well your client's lying."

"Detective Benson, these phone records show us that you called him." Langan said matter-of-factly.

"No, phone records show you that _someone_ called your client. Anyone could have made that call."

"So you usually let just anyone use your house phone?" Langan said pretending to be confused, like her reply had been the oddest one he had ever heard.

She hated how great he was at twisting the simplest of answers. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Forgive me but that's exactly what you've just said Detective Benson." he replied, his matter-of-fact tone making her look as stupid as he was trying to make her feel.

"What I'm saying is that _I _did not make a call to that sob-of-a-bitch inviting him to come to my home and torture and rape me and then shoot me in the head!" Olivia yelled angrily.

"Really? Because that's exactly what I believe your motives were."

"You're wrong." Olivia told him firmly.

"You were pissed off that my client had walked free. You had wanted him to be guilty of crimes he did not commit..."

"He committed them." Olivia told him.

"When you found out he was a free man you decided to take matters into your own hands. You called him round so you could make him do things to you, sexual acts that you would later call rape. When you tried to shoot my client he got the gun from you and he shot you in self-defence."

"I never tried to shoot him! I couldn't have with my arms tied to the bed frame, not to mention one was dislocated thanks to your client!"

"You say you never had a gun in your hands, you never tired to shoot him?" Langan asked, interrupting her like he hadn't even realised she had been talking.

Olivia hesitated for a moment, knowing what she would say next would play into what Langan was accusing her of now. "I did at one point have possession of the gun..."

"So you just lied when you said you never tried to shoot him?"

"What I meant to say..." Olivia began to say but once more Langan interrupted her.

"And when you had this gun you used it to try and shoot my client in the head but he fought back. Can't say I blame him. An experienced Detective with a gun and you never tried to fire a warning shot into his shoulder or his knee perhaps, you aimed it straight at his head. _God, he must have been terrified_."

Olivia scoffed and angrily replied, "I don't think anything terrifies your clients." she muttered quietly. She then tried to explain, "I pointed the gun at him intending to shoot him to stop him from raping or torturing me anymore!" Langan was talking too loudly over her for the members of the jury to hear her explanation.

"Admit it Detective, you wanted my client dead because of crimes you believe he committed! That's the ultimate reason you invited him round, isn't it Detective Benson?!"

"No!" Olivia argued, turning to look at Barba wondering when he would put a stop to this.

"If you were able to gain possession of a gun why not a phone? Surely it would have been a better idea to grab a phone and call for help, if you were in as much danger as you claim you were in, that is?"

"He gave me the gun." she said, realising how absurd her words must have sounded the moment they left her lips.

Langan scoffed making her feel even more ridiculous, "I'm sorry you said he gave you a gun? You really except us to believe he gave you a gun so you could use it to kill him? Why would any one do that?" he said, laughter in his tone.

Olivia couldn't answer, her words were stuck in her throat as she knew to answer yes would make her look like a fool or a liar, _or both_, which was undoubtedly Langan's plan.

"No further questions!" Langan said as he moved to sit down.

She watched with her blood boiling as he moved to sit beside Lewis again. She couldn't miss the sadistic smirk on Lewis's face as he stared right at her. She had just reminded him of what he had done to her and he loved it. He loved that Langan was so easily able to make her look bad on the stand.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia had stormed out of court as soon as the judge had called for a recess. Cassidy had followed after her but had been slowed down by the heavy crowd leaving the courtroom. When he finally caught up to her she was sat at the base of one of the trade mark columns on the courthouse steps.

He walked over to her and sat down beside her. "I forgot how fast you can run." he said to her.

"I had to get out of there before I went insane."

"Yeah, Langan's a real dick!"

Olivia laughed a little then nodded in agreement. "The guys so good he's scary." she admitted.

"Barba's better." Cassidy tired to tell her.

"I have this horrible feeling in my gut that Lewis will get away with this."

"No, Liv, the evidence is stacked against him. He's not gonna walk this time."

"Langan is twisting all the evidence we have against Lewis. He never asked about what Lewis did to me he just asked about that call and about me having the gun. He's making it look like I..."

"...Liv, you have to stop worrying about this. Lewis won't walk and if by some stroke of luck on his part he does then I promise you none of us will let him hurt you like that again."

Olivia smiled weakly but still didn't feel very good about the situation. She grabbed hold of Cassidy's hand and held onto it as tight as she could.

They both turned to look when they heard shoes shuffling towards them. It was Barba and he looked a little flustered, something Olivia had rarely seen him like.

"Now what?" she asked.

"After I cross examine you Langan's next witness is Lewis."

Olivia scoffed and sarcastically said, "This day just keeps on getting better."

**~0~0~0~0~**

"Detective Benson, I know this can't be easy but can you tell me what happened after you tried to escape whilst the Defendant went to the local store." Barba asked, well into his cross examination of Olivia.

"He returned to my apartment before I had chance to leave, we struggled and he was able to drag me back into the bedroom. He tied me to the bed using duck-tape and for a while left me alone in the bedroom."

"Why did he do this?"

"He was in the kitchen warming items in a pan on the stove. He intended on burning me with them."

"Speculation!" Langan cried without looking up from the file in front of them.

Before Barba had chance to argue it wasn't just speculation Olivia continued, "He told me I could choose whether I wanted to be burnt or raped!"

"Did you make a choice?" Barba asked.

"Yeah, neither. I tried to fight back as best as I could. When he brought the pan over to burn me I kicked him and the items fell to the floor. He became angry and he began to beat me, then he placed the barrel of a gun in my mouth and told me to tell him why he shouldn't kill me."

"What did you tell him?" Barba asked.

Olivia hesitated and tears threatened to choke her, then she replied, "I told him I wanted to live. My punishment for making that choice was hours of being raped over and over. He only stopped when he needed to sleep. Over the hours that followed he raped me again and again. He used heated items to burn me, including cigarettes. He cut me with a knife and when he thought he was going to be caught he shot me in the head."

"At any point did he tell you he would let you go?"

"No. He told me he had a spot picked out somewhere where he would bury my body after he killed me. He had no intentions of letting me go alive."

"Thank you Detective Benson."

Barba move to sit back down, wondering how it would all go as Lewis took the stand.

"If we're done with this witness then I'd like to call Mr Lewis to the stand." Langan said.

"You may step down Detective Benson." the Judge said, wanting to move on swiftly.

Olivia pushed herself up and made her way back to her seat, part of her wanting to walk on right out of the court room. She didn't need to hear Lewis lie about what he had done to her but she refused to let him think he frightened her. By the time she was sat down Lewis was already being sworn in.

He quickly glanced in her direction and smirked ever so slightly at her. She took a deep shaky breath and tried to prepare herself.

"Mr Lewis, can you tell the court about the phone call that Detective Benson made to you."

"Of course." Lewis replied with a charming smile that was aimed at the ladies of the jury. "She told me she wanted to discuss the case, explain her behaviour towards me."

"Her behaviour?"

"She had it in for me. She was fixed on me being the one who had committed these horrible crimes."

"Allegations of crimes committed by you that were dropped?"

"Yes,thank god. I could never do anything like that. But I could tell she wasn't happy when I was found innocent..."

"Your Honour the Defendant was not found guilty the Judge just declared a mistrial." Barba argued.

"A mistrial due to bad evidence." Langan explained, "Evidence that Detective Benson herself had collected."

"Relevance?!" Barba argued.

"It goes to show that Detective Benson had reason to be angry with my client. She wanted him to be found guilty of acts he never committed. When she was unable to do this she decided she wanted my client to pay one way or another and that is why she invited him round to her apartment that night!" Langan argued.

"All we have is his word that Detective Benson invited him round."

"Yet you except us to believe hers when she says she didn't, where's the difference? The phone records show she did in fact make a call."

"We can not establish that fact just the fact that a call was made!"

"Nor can we establish that she didn't!" Langan argued back. The whole thing making Olivia more and more uncomfortable.

"Enough!" The Judge finally called, stopping the ADA's argument. "Mr Barba please take a seat, Mr Langan continue your questioning but move on! Frankly I've had enough of you two squabbling."

Barba angrily did as he was told and Langan went back to questioning Lewis. "What did Detective Benson say to you when you got there?"

"She let me in, she offered me a drink, said she wanted to apologize. I accepted her apology and we got talking about everything, she seemed to really like me. She kissed me. I don't think I've ever been kissed the way she kissed me."

"She kissed you?" Langan question purposely.

"Yes she certainly did. I kinda wondered if she was drunk but when I asked she told me she hadn't touched a drop and I hadn't seen her drink anything. She said I was charming, said she liked that about me."

"Your Honour, please!" Barba argued.

"You may continue Mr Lewis!" The Judge said, overruling Barba's argument.

He couldn't believe how unlucky they had been to get a Judge like this one. Clearly the Judge didn't like him but that he favored Langan pissed him off even more.

"Did you at any point think that Detective Benson had an alternate motive for inviting you around?" Langan asked.

Hesitantly Lewis nodded. "Yes. I thought maybe it was a trap, that once she had me inside her apartment she would try to shoot me or something. I suggested we meet up somewhere more public but she insisted on it being in her apartment. That's why I took a gun. I know I shouldn't have had one but I was in fear for my life."

"OBJECTION!" Barba called as he pushed himself to his feet. "Your Honour we have no proof that this is what was said, that Detective Benson insisted he come round to her home as he claims!"

"Nor do we have proof of what Detective Benson said took place. Detective Benson was able to share her account now all I ask is my client is allowed the same privilege."

"I agree. I'm sorry Mr Barba but Mr Langan is right. This is a two way street."

Barba slumped back into his chair feeling more and more angry and frustrated by the minute. Lewis was scarily convincing at playing the victim and as he glanced over at the jury he couldn't help but wonder if they were all falling for his act. The son-of-a-bitch was charming.

"You told me that she initiated sex with you?" Langan continued.

Olivia sat forward in her seat. She was sure she was going to throw up. She couldn't believe the lies Lewis had told Langan. She couldn't believe Langan was using them now. Hearing that she had supposedly been the one who had initiated sex with Lewis made her skin want to crawl off her body.

"Yes, she did." Lewis replied making the same feeling wash over Olivia again.

"Why does Detective Benson claim she was tied up."

"She was. But only because she told me that's what she wanted. She said she liked it rough. I'm not denying it got really wild. She kept asking me to stay longer and longer, saying she wanted more. She wanted me to do some weird things, but I wanted to make her happy. I liked her, it was nice having a woman want me and I figured it might go somewhere between us so I was willing to do whatever she wanted to do. When I left she was tired but she was fine. I have no idea who shot her, but I hope they find the guy."

"Thank you Mr Lewis. I hope they find him too before he hurts anymore women. No further questions." Langan said, returning to his seat.

Barba couldn't help but laugh slightly as he slowly made his way towards the stand. "You say you thought it was all a trap when Detective Benson supposedly called you to invite you round?"

"Yes, Sir." Lewis replied.

"You say you feared for your life which is why you took a gun with you?"

"Yes." Lewis said.

"So then why did you agree to have sex with her when she_ supposedly_ initiated it?"

"Look at her, she's stunning, of course I'm not gonna say no when she's offering it to me on a plate."

Barba was shocked by his words, "On a plate? If she was so willing why did you have to tie her down?" He stormed over to his desk and held up the pictures of Olivia's bed frame, duck-tape still attached to it. He then held up more pictures of Olivia's bruised wrists.

"That's what she said she wanted. She said she wanted it really rough. She kept telling me to do her harder. It doesn't surprise me she likes it like that, someone working in sex crimes that long has to be screwed up."

"You Honour!" Barba argued.

"She told me that herself. She told me being around that shit all day you get used to it!"

Olivia felt sick as she remembered that moment, she suddenly saw the moment flash before her as she closed her eyes_..._

_She was lay on the bed, her arm causing her excruciating pain as it had not long been dislocated. Her back was tingling painfully thanks to the burn, then there was the throbbing she felt between her her legs from where Lewis had once again forced himself into her body. _

_He walked into the bedroom with a cigarette in one hand and drinking from a bottle of vodka he had taken from her cupboard. She couldn't help but glare angrily at him. _

_"What?" he asked her before he swallowed a big mouthful of vodka. "You got something you wanna say?"_

_Olivia turned to face away from him,she had a dozen things she wanted to say but she figured she wouldn't waste her breath. She yelped in pain as a second later he grabbed her chin and turned her to face him, roughly shoving the mouth of the bottle in her mouth. He tipped it up flooding her mouth with vodka until she had no choice but to swallow some until he finally pulled the bottle away and she could spit the rest out. _

_"You too good for that shit, or can you just not handle it?"_

_"When you work with all kinds of shit you get used to it, you learn how to handle it." she growled at him angrily as the vodka burned her dry mouth._

With those words bouncing around her heard Olivia forced the flashback out of her head. She zoned back in in time to hear Barba's next question.

"So how does what you think was consensual sex turn into torture?"

"She said she wanted to feel what it would be like to have a cigarette put out on her."

"And you did it?"

"She was very persuasive, if you know what I mean?" he replied with a smirk.

"_This is ridiculous_, you really think that Detective Benson asked you to burn her with cigarettes and other items that you had heated up in a frying pan, or that she asked you to repeatedly beat her? Did she ask you to break her ribs? What about her fingers, they were broken too? Her arm was dislocated too, and the bullet in her head, what do you call that, foreplay?" Barba yelled.

Lewis smirked at Barba and quickly glanced at Olivia. "I suppose you could say things got out of hand. I have a drug problem and I had too much. I lost control of what I was doing. I never meant to hurt her, if I could have stopped...I would have...she seemed to be enjoying it."

It was all Olivia could stand. She pushed herself up and stormed out of the court room. She didn't even remember running to the bathroom but she got there just in time to throw up into a toilet.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**Later that evening**_

Olivia was sat on the couch in Cassidy's apartment. As she twirled a lock of hair around her finger she continued to replay the days court event in her head, over and over. She was staring at nothing in particular as she remembered Lewis's words..._she seemed to be enjoying it..._

Cassidy's voice suddenly brought her out of her trance.

"You're drinking?" Cassidy said as he continued watching Olivia.

She simply smiled at him from over the back of the couch then turned to look at the glass of wine in her hand and replied, "I'm not getting drunk. It's just one drink that I think I deserve after today. I'm not about to make it a habit."

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant is that okay to drink while you're on your meds?" he said as he came to sit beside her.

"So long as I don't have another, yeah." she said as she placed her legs over his lap.

She was in heaven as he began to massage her aching feet and ankles. "I know you're worrying about the case." he said.

Olivia's eyes were locked on his hands as they worked magic on her feet. "I think it would kill me to see that prick worm his way out of another conviction. His victims need justice for what he's done to them."

"Liv, you need justice too, not just his other victims."

Olivia just nodded. She knew seeing him go down for what he did would help her heal, it's why she was so scared he was going to get off.

Cassidy stopped rubbing her feet as he saw the worried look plastered on her face. He carefully guided her body round so that she was right next to his. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head as he held her.

"Let's go bed. You need sleep before tomorrow." he said after a while of just holding her in his arms.

Olivia sat forward and put her glass down on the coffee table. She then stood up and took hold of Cassidy's hand. She led him to the bedroom behind her turning the living room light off as they stepped out of it. Once inside the bedroom she turned to face him. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"What was that for?" he asked her when she finally pulled away.

"A thank you for being so amazing. There's no way I could have gotten through all of this without you."

"Give yourself some credit, Liv. You're strong. You're the strongest person I know."

Olivia smiled and kissed him again, she couldn't resist she just loved him so much and she was so grateful to him. She would happily spend the rest of her life showing him just how much she loved and appreciated him and everything he had done and was doing for her.

She pulled back and rested her forehead against his. "Brian..?" she whispered after a moment.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice as quiet and gentle as hers had just been. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead as he waited for her reply.

"Make love to me." she said.

Cassidy gently took hold of her face and looked her in the eyes, "Liv, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." he told her, "I will spend a thousand years by your side and not care if you never want me in that way again."

"But I do, now. I miss your touch. I wanna feel...I want to remember what it's like to be with the one you love. I want this Bri, I want you."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. I love you." she told him.

Cassidy told himself he would take it slow, go at whatever pace she wanted. He didn't want her to feel forced into it, but he wanted to make her happy, he wanted to remind her what is was like to make love. He wanted her as badly as she said she wanted him. So, he began to kiss her.

After a moment they inched closer to the bed. Olivia pushed his shirt off, revealing his toned body beneath it. She ran her hands slowly over his chest, placed a soft kiss over the gun shot wound scars there. She had been so scared when she thought she had lost him back when they had occurred. She had sworn she would never lose him, she needed him too much, she wanted him in her life too much.

Cassidy slowly began to unfasten the buttons on the over-sized shirt she was wearing, his shirt. He purposely took his time, every now and then glancing at her, looking for some sort of sign that she wanted him to stop but all her saw in her eyes was how badly she wanted him to continue.

Once he was finished with the buttons he pushed the shirt open to reveal Olivia's naked body beneath it. He gently brushed his thumb over the healing eagle shaped burn scar that was on her stomach. He crouched down for a moment so he could place a soft kiss there. He stood up again and slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her against his body and simply held her for a moment. Olivia held him back, loving how safe she felt in his arms.

After a moment she pulled away so she could reach up and kiss him. Her kisses told him she was hungry for more from him. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out to grab hold of his trousers so she could pull him closer to her, once he was standing between her parted legs she reached up and took hold of his face, guiding his lips to hers before pulling his body onto hers.

As she fell backwards onto the bed he came down with her. For a while they simply kissed and explored one another's body again and when they were both ready Cassidy gently entered her body. They found a familiar rhythm, theirs bodies acting as if they had never had such a long break from one another. Olivia had always loved how perfectly theirs bodies became one. They both reached their climax together and afterwards Cassidy held onto her as they came down from their high and struggled to catch their breath.

Olivia fell asleep in Cassidy's arms. She was so happy that she didn't even think about the next day and what the trial would bring as it continued. For now she just thought about Cassidy and how much he had changed her life for the better.

**~0~0~0~0~**

In a cold cell, lying on the top bunk was William Lewis. He lay looking up at the ceiling, a smirk on his face. After a moment he closed his eyes, reached into his boxers and took hold of his semi-hard cock. He began to rub himself as he thought about one person and one person only. The person who he wanted revenge on, the one person who stood between him and freedom...Olivia. One way or another he would make her pay for not dying when she was supposed to. He never left a job unfinished and he would never let a bitch get the better of him. The release he felt spill over his hand was like a silent hallelujah as he suddenly came up with a plan. It was perfect, and he knew just how to execute it..._she would never see it coming..._

_"See you soon, Olivia." he whispered into the darkness._

**TBC**

**Does that count as a cliffhanger? **

**Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think. **

**Again, I'm sorry if some of the court proceedings weren't accurate but so long as they entertained that's all I care about. **

**PS the Judge in this case is supposed to be a dick! Hence why Langan is doing better than Barba so far. **


End file.
